Emotional Self regulation issues ?

[lemonie]

can anyone even identify with this ? Maybe a shred is enough its something that really irritates me.

Long story short. I made biscuits and iced in white choc.. the choc bloomed and they look discoloured, being the perfectionist that i am, i got irritated because i decorated and made them over the course of 2 days and they were a gift to the family of a dear friend. So i was explaining whilst irritated but not rude to my friend that i wont give them like this and they were silent and i got more irritated at lack if consolation (the irony) and they told me not to take it out on them.

Now logically speaking in my head i know i must have come across as irritable and maybe it seemed like taking it out on them. But my emotional brain cannot compute this and i just fee completely awkward about this and where as someone will simply say hey im sorry if i sounded pissed, there is such an enormous mental block the words wont even formulate around my mouth let alone come out of it. I know rationally its just a sentence to say but its just impossible to come to that point. The anxiety and general awkwardness is too much, and personally if i could avoid them for the rest of the night i would.

Does anyone ever feel like something as small and insignificant to others feels like the end of the world to them ? So much so i would rather withdraw and be completely fine with it rather than put myself through the anxiety. Dont get me wrong i know its a tiny sentence to make all the difference but to me that sentence feels impossible to say, not because i dont want to apologize, au contraire its just my body wont physically be able to do it. Stupid things like these make me think in extremes and rather than say ok it was weird and now it's passed, i go into thinking this is why i dont like people dont want to talk to them, they are too complicated and i would just want to quit the world. Does anyone else feel like this extreme end of the world feeling over things so trivial ? The worst thing is that i would then take a few hours before being able to be 'normal' with them again due to awkwardness from my end and just feeling completely weird about the situation. I cant explain it but it happens very often, its so difficult to regulate out of one situation and into the next... this is something that really irritates me as logically i know how it should be and thats its no big deal... but i just cannot ever emotionally compute the same way i reason logically. Any insight please ?

 

[lemonie]

Also having to explain this to people is even worse and makes me think of quitting the world even more, no matter the type of relationship i have with the person and if they know about my issues

 

[Jorg]

I understand you. Just minutes ago I was talking with some college partners and well, one thing took to another and when I realized I was a little over the line, I started talking about how much I get angry when I hear some students talking about they only care to pass the course and not to learn, and I was more about learning, well, I sometimes talk a little loud and idk if I sounded like a pain in the ass, I'm also a perfectionist and well,l I'm now very self-aware and anxious. I asked a friend who was there If I sounded like a paint in... and told me to take it easy, probably I didn't sounded like that but I can't stop repeating the moment and ask myself about my behavior.

Since some months ago I have started to feel a little over or without full control of my feelings, I start being nice, and suddenly I'm being a jerk, specially when I feel overwhelmed by social conversations. I can deal with some small, short talks but more than idk 10min I start to feel very uncomfortable.

 

[ksheehan88]

Yeah I'm the same. Something I might say or do, or something others have said or done, they will have forgotten about in minutes but takes me hours to stop worrying about, during which time I feel really awkward and just want to get out of there.

This is how I left most of my jobs - a manager said something in a irritated tone of voice and it was so awkward and I felt like they would hold whatever it was against me and so I would just leave and not go back.

 

[tee]

I'm bumping this thread because I wanted to talk about emotional regulation. For some reason its been something I've been focused on a lot lately. It always feels like there's like a cartoon thermometer in my head that's going up and down with emotion and I have to be incredibly mindful and focused to keep it down or it will reach the end and explode. When it explodes I usually don't act dramatic, but I'll shut down and if necessary remove myself from a situation whatever it takes. There's so much I could say about it, but one simple example is just being out with friends. All the stimuli just gets to me and I just feel more and more manic so to speak, if only in my head, and it becomes physically distressing even if it's a positive situation. It kind of feels like I lose myself. Over the years I've developed some nervous system dysfunction and it's pretty clear that its from all this heightened sympathetic activity I think. I don't know if anyone can relate to this. It sometimes feels like part of the core of my issues with ASD.

there is such an enormous mental block the words wont even formulate around my mouth let alone come out of it. I know rationally its just a sentence to say but its just impossible to come to that point. The anxiety and general awkwardness is too much, and personally if i could avoid them for the rest of the night i would.

This is how I left most of my jobs - a manager said something in a irritated tone of voice and it was so awkward and I felt like they would hold whatever it was against me and so I would just leave and not go back.

I can relate to these stories when my metaphorical thermometer explodes. A lot of the time if I can use techniques to focus on small things and feelings I'll be able to think of a way of honestly expressing myself emotionally and the words can actually come out (or in the second case I could try to express what I'm feeling to attempt to resolve the conflict). But if I can't, and I often can't, then I escape and have quit jobs, broken up with girlfriends, and ended friendships. Its frustrating.

 

[ksheehan88]

I'm bumping this thread because I wanted to talk about emotional regulation. For some reason its been something I've been focused on a lot lately. It always feels like there's like a cartoon thermometer in my head that's going up and down with emotion and I have to be incredibly mindful and focused to keep it down or it will reach the end and explode. When it explodes I usually don't act dramatic, but I'll shut down and if necessary remove myself from a situation whatever it takes. There's so much I could say about it, but one simple example is just being out with friends. All the stimuli just gets to me and I just feel more and more manic so to speak, if only in my head, and it becomes physically distressing even if it's a positive situation. It kind of feels like I lose myself. Over the years I've developed some nervous system dysfunction and it's pretty clear that its from all this heightened sympathetic activity I think. I don't know if anyone can relate to this. It sometimes feels like part of the core of my issues with ASD.





I can relate to these stories when my metaphorical thermometer explodes. A lot of the time if I can use techniques to focus on small things and feelings I'll be able to think of a way of honestly expressing myself emotionally and the words can actually come out (or in the second case I could try to express what I'm feeling to attempt to resolve the conflict). But if I can't, and I often can't, then I escape and have quit jobs, broken up with girlfriends, and ended friendships. Its frustrating.

Yeah I think of my emotions in a similar way. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground though, just "numb" and "extreme".

 

[Keigan]

Sometimes I have to remove myself from a situation before I implode and shutdown, luckily I have not encountered this in a long time which means I am doing a better job of filtering or staying clear to begin with.