Emotional intelligence and maturity

[ksheehan88]

Relatively emotionally intelligent, mature as well. Although it's taken many years, experiences, social interaction, life lived. It's likely that I'm consistently ten years behind people of my age, which is fifty-seven. Before that, and into my late forties emotional maturity was probably more regressive than that, twenty or so years earlier than my age at the time.

As a female with autism, I have little difficulty reading facial expressions existing on the surface. Something of an 'interest' since I was a child. Yet deeper emotions in people are more difficult to fathom, and I seem to have more interest in animals than in people. I understand animal behavior much better than I do people as it relates to emotion. It could be that my interest in animals has won out, over my interest in people. As I spend far more time with them now.

I'm able to recall very well, feelings I had as a child and seem to be more in touch with those feelings than most adults. My memory is almost eidetic related to those early years.

Perhaps those emotions are something I don't wish to forget, as they help me to remember what is and was important from the very beginnings of my life. Who I was and am now, is not all that different. It might be that's the reason we are thought of as 'childish.' As others once they are adults, seem to forget or put behind that most important and defining aspect of self.

Speaking to my psychologist when she asked if I could read people's emotions, I replied by saying if they are very obvious - for example, if someones eyebrows are deeply furrowed and mouth set in a tight line, I know they are angry. People who don't have expressionable faces are harder though, and sometimes when I guess at the emotion, they say they are fine which totally throws me.

 

[ksheehan88]

I have been dating an Aspie for a year now. I noticed that he behaves like a 5 year old, even though he is over 40. He calls me fat all the time. I was not fat, but I put on 20 pounds after hearing that everyday and he always wants to control what I eat. He screams at me from nowhere, no reason. It is scary. He screams anywhere. It is always a scandal. If I do something, eat anything, he wants to do the same. He also looks to every single women at the street. When we have dinner he is staring at other women, barely looks at me. He is every morning on hi ipad looking at pictures of models and gets all excited, looks at pornography and doesn’t show any sexual interest for me. He hides everything he does. Doesn’t tell me anything about work. I also thought he has weird interactions with little kids, like 8 years old girls. He is creepy! When I say I’ll leave him he says he will change. Is all that normal?

A huge fat red flag here!! Leave leave leave!

 

[Flinty]

Thank you Flinty.
I know I should run away from him, but then he becomes all nice and I forget all the bad he does. I feel sorry for him and I tend to think it is not his fault. I suffer a lot, most because I have no strenght to leave this awful situation. I am trying to find answers. If I can understand how his mind works and he won’t change, it will give me strenght to leave. We live together, by the way.

You obviously don't forget the bad he does as you describe it as constantly happening. Even if it's not his fault, he does present a certain amount of danger.

Get yourself to somewhere that you know is safe. Don't tell him where that place is. Bring a few changes of clothing. You don't have to bring all your stuff because...

...find the burliest guy you can. Get him to retrieve the rest of your stuff.

 

[Mathalamus]

i measure emotional intelligence and maturity by their personalities. if they take a relatively calm, thoughtful and rounded view of the world and act based on said thoughts, then i consider them significantly more mature than me. bonus points if they are extremely capable as well.