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Don't Be Shy To Introduce Yourself

Hi my name is Jeremiah I'm from lima ohio and I have not been diagnosed yet I notice just started to look into this and a lot of it rang true to me about aspergers and myself I don't know if I do or not but I'm just trying to get a grasp of it and find my way to see if I do. But a lot of it makes sense to me and the more I read and look into it the more it feels right. I've always felt different never good with people I'm better now then when I was young but still have my moments. And I've been with my girlfriend for 10 years and we would always have the same fights and it would be I don't act like I care or I don't do anything or go places I don't say my feeling I don't understand what she trying to tell me why she's upset and I never did understand it would take me days before I kind of got it but not fully. And she would tell me that the things I say are not me I guess I would be to blunt sometimes only when I would get so exhausted from it that I would say what I thought out loud. But I never understood why I would shut off and zone out and focus on something so hard I didn't even know I was. Play a game and nothing would reach me. And I didn't fully understand things she would say or we would text and I couldn't understand what she ment and I've had the worst anxiety most my life over stuff as simple as calling to pay a bill take me hours to work up to do it. I felt stupid most my life Bec I couldn't learn something fast like someone else unless I could watch it be done for awhile . I got beat up a lot as a kid I can't even look back at my past Bec its always bad memories. Kids would single me out I guess Bec I wasn't like them my siblings would pick on me and torture me. I don't even think my parents knew there was something different about me. Not sure they would even address it.I know I'm giving my life story wasn't my plan but I never talk about it and finally I feel like maybe I know why. But I don't know where to go from here. I told my girlfriend what I thought and showed her some of the things I've read and she thinks it fits me too.
 
Hi Jeremiah :)


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Hello my name is Chloe, aged 14, I was meant to introduce myself ages ago but felt too scared, dealing with change or standing anything’s hard for me. I’m not diagnosed yet but I feel I have Aspergers. I’ve just had a melt down because my brother kept interrupting my routine in so much pain from punching myself, I’ve come here as a distraction/ way of calming down.
 
Hi there, I won't give out my real name but you guys can call me Potato.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers three years ago. I like dancing and singing a lot. I love Sofi Tukker (hence my avatar), Mura Masa, and Petit Biscuit. I'm not a shy person, but I have a hard time making friends, and I hope to make some on here.
:)
 
Hello!

I'm Lithi and I'm new here. I'm a 23-year-old grad student studying classical music, and I'm self-diagnosed with Aspergers/ASD. Socializing is hard for me, so I spend a lot of time on my computer, which is why I decided to come here to try to talk to people. Some of my interests include kpop, anime/manga, books, and TV shows.
 
Hi,

My name is Liam and I'm 39. I went to a doctor, about five years back, for what I figured was depression, which was something I did have. I figured having depression was a result of having no friends and no connections. After a few different doctors of various kinds, I was defined as having an autistic disorder on the high functioning end of the spectrum. Having known nothing about the syndrome I began reading about it, as a result I have no doubt about the label. I've never been able to tell anyone about it. Relating my feelings to anyone is not something that comes naturally to me and not something I could do with this. Not that it embarrasses me, I just don't want to have to decipher their reactions to it. It's not like I have any friends to tell anyways and I'd rather my family didn't know; if they were not obligated to they would have stopped caring about me long ago.

I can, in fact, move quite easily through society without anyone recognizing my particular problem. I can mimic social behavior on a superficial level but any sort of connections that have ever become close have produced nothing but disastrous results. I'm not really bad looking, but any attempts to interact with women always turn out the same way as any other sort of social interaction. I can hold a job, but I have intentionally taken one that pays enough to make me comfortable while demanding as little interaction with others as possible. In that, at least, I have succeeded.

I enjoy some things that I like to do, that everyone around me finds weird and useless. These mostly revolve around scientific facts and historical details. Unfortunately, I have an almost uncontrollable habit of correcting people on various topics in general conversation. Still books do keep me from being in a constant state of depression.

The worst part is that I do want to interact with people. It's just that doing so always ends up the same way; feeling misunderstood. I've tried a lot of things over the past number of years. I've joined recreational sports teams, while I do enjoy the games, it seems that everyone on the team(s) become friends before I'm even aware that we've known each other long enough. I've tried other things too with worse results having no activity to make the personal distance comfortable.

In any event, I just joined here to read how some people with the same disability view some things and figured I would shortly outline my story.
 
Hi all!

My name is Caitlyn. I'm 29 and a stay-at-home-mom to two boys. My oldest, who is 7, was recently diagnosed with Autism. I highly suspect that I am also on the spectrum. I grew up being labeled as the weird, smart, and shy kid. I struggled in my primary and elementary years but by middle school, I rarely had a need for studying because I was able to retain so much information. I had and still do have zero interest in interacting with most other people. I just don't notice other people most of the time. Luckily, my husband is very antisocial so it works out well. He and I can sit in the same room for hours, in our separate worlds, and not say a word. But we are great at communicating when it's needed.

My 7 year old son was recently moved to the Autism classroom due to negative behaviors and his aggression. It is an ABA based model and I'm not particularly happy about that. I love my son just the way he is and if he'd cooperate more, I would have homeschooled him. I tried homeschooling but between he and I, we have no executive functioning skills and we lounged around, watching tv, and playing on the iPad and iPhone rather than teaching and learning. Whenever I tried to teach him, he refused and instead of insisting, I just threw up my hands and walked off. I made it clear to them that they were not to stop his stimming and were not to touch him without his permission. He and I regularly talk about how he still reserves the right to say, "No" or, "I don't like that".

I am good at masking. I smile and make eye contact perfectly. I'm sure our neighbors think something is off about our family. My 7 year old wears a construction hat and vest most everywhere. My 5 year old carries multiple dinosaur models everywhere. I always wear shoes without socks and roll my jeans up because I hate fabric touching my ankles. If I park my car crooked or the wheels are not straight, I must park again or turn the car back on to straighten the tires. I have multiple tics and I still stim regularly but only at home or as discreetly as possible. The neck jerking, abdominal scrunching, and wrist snapping are the most apparent ones.

Oh, I love cars and photography as well as listening to music. I have playlists for different moods but if I don't feel like talking or listening, I just put in my earphones. One thing that I've had a problem with lately is that there seems to be a disconnect between my brain and mouth. It's as if my mouth won't speak but I have thoughts.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the essay that I've written. I look forward to reading and learning from others' that are like me and my son.
 
Hello,
Brand new here.
I've been chasing this diagnosis my whole life without knowing what it was and just a few weeks ago, discovering "autism" at 30 years old was, I'm pretty sure, my enlightenment moment. Everything makes sense now. My lifelong abject poverty, my current situation of homelessness and unemployment and total abandonment — as well as every memory I pick up and reexamine through this new lens. The speech therapy as a kid? Boggles my mind in hindsight that nobody noticed for so long, but then again, neither did I. I've been trying to process it all for almost a month and kind of want my focus and short-term memory back.
I've come across phrases, especially "autistic burnout" and "alexythemia" and "hyperlexia" that, thanks to ~740 hours of meditation since October and all of this constant processing and repeating shutdowns and rumination and pitiless obsessive drive to find more puzzle pieces, I have a totally new and profound respect for. And there seems to be nothing out there for people in this situation where I live.
I'm curious, how often is it that aspies have this sort of moment of discovery and bring their self-diagnosis to a doctor? Is it more common for somebody else to notice first? Does anyone else have huge problems with memory retention before, during and after shutdowns and meltdowns?
Sorry guys, I've been a little shaky these days. I hope that all makes sense. Any advice or insight would be hugely appreciated, I'll probably be around a fair bit till I figure out which way is up again.
Thank you for existing.
Cheers,
Rag.
 
ragmanjin said:
Hello,
Brand new here.
I've been chasing this diagnosis my whole life without knowing what it was and just a few weeks ago, discovering "autism" at 30 years old was, I'm pretty sure, my enlightenment moment. Everything makes sense now. My lifelong abject poverty, my current situation of homelessness and unemployment and total abandonment — as well as every memory I pick up and reexamine through this new lens. The speech therapy as a kid? Boggles my mind in hindsight that nobody noticed for so long, but then again, neither did I. I've been trying to process it all for almost a month and kind of want my focus and short-term memory back.
I've come across phrases, especially "autistic burnout" and "alexythemia" and "hyperlexia" that, thanks to ~740 hours of meditation since October and all of this constant processing and repeating shutdowns and rumination and pitiless obsessive drive to find more puzzle pieces, I have a totally new and profound respect for. And there seems to be nothing out there for people in this situation where I live.
I'm curious, how often is it that aspies have this sort of moment of discovery and bring their self-diagnosis to a doctor? Is it more common for somebody else to notice first? Does anyone else have huge problems with memory retention before, during and after shutdowns and meltdowns?
Sorry guys, I've been a little shaky these days. I hope that all makes sense. Any advice or insight would be hugely appreciated, I'll probably be around a fair bit till I figure out which way is up again.
Thank you for existing.
Cheers,
Rag.
Click to expand...
Sorry if that all sounds super negative, it's not intended to at all. Everything has just been kind of intense lately. I wanted to add that for the same reasons this has all been terrifying, the diagnosis has also been kind of like a treasure map for already-vaguely-familiar territory. There are things I CAN do exceptionally well that I didn't realize I've been doing all this time, too. I get that it's as much a blessing as a curse and I am not sad about the facts of it. More in awe. But like...burnout, right?
Just wanted to clarify, I'm done now. Thank you for listening.
 
ragmanjin said:
I'm curious, how often is it that aspies have this sort of moment of discovery and bring their self-diagnosis to a doctor? Is it more common for somebody else to notice first? Does anyone else have huge problems with memory retention before, during and after shutdowns and meltdowns?
Click to expand...
I think it is quite common among older Aspies because the diagnosis didn't exist when they were children and people with milder conditions simply weren't diagnosed. Sometimes, people become aware or it because a family member or relative was diagnosed, sometimes because they went to a therapist to seek help with another issue like depression or anxiety, the therapist spotted the traits and they received an ASD diagnosis. Sometimes, people watch a documentary, read a book or a website explaining symptoms and they realise the symptoms apply to them.

I often get 'brainfog' after a meltdown or shutdown which affects my concentration and memory retention.
 
Hello everyone, I'm new. I didn't have a great experience on a different autism forum so I hope you don't mind that I don't share too much of myself yet. I've been diagnosed with high functioning autism 2 years ago, at 32. I'm still trying to figure out what that means for me exactly, but it has already made all the difference.
 
Same thing, diagnosed late in life with high functioning. There likely won't be any text book definition moment where you see a mirror of yourself. For me, it comes down to coping with a sense of normal which is normal for me and not measuring that against some ideal. Knowing what it is can change your perspective on your experiences but it, likely, won't always change your reaction to things in the present. At least that has been true for me, that said everyone is different.
 
Hi all, I'm Darren from England and I'm awaiting diagnosis at 32 years old.

I'm pretty sure I have Asperger's but thinking isnt enough for me. I want a diagnosis to be sure. My doctor referred me and my therapist offered to as well so I've been waiting for an update for about a month, but now we're moving in the next couple of weeks so I'll have to restart the process.

In the mean time what I do know for sure is I've been diagnosed with severe depression, social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder.

So I started writing this post and it became a lot longer than it need be. I'll save the rest for another time.
 
I am a 25 years old and in the process of getting a diagnosis. I recently got a Bipolar type 1 diagnosis as well. I took the ADOS module 4 exam 2 days ago and later in July I have back to back 3 hour interviews with a specialist. Struggled with mental health for a long time. In my teens I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and tried 11 different medications before I started to self medicate. Drugs and alcohol would allow to me function somewhat. I could actually leave the house. 12 years of addiction and mental health struggles contributed my life sucking so I finally got help last October. Started seeing a counselor who referred me to a psychiatrist who would later diagnose me with Bipolar. I see my counselor twice a week and after about a month of meeting with me she proposed the possibility of Aspergers. I mentioned it to my psychiatrist and he said for me it was worth testing. So I found a specialist in February and got on the calendar. This has all been overwhelming, but now I am understanding why I am the way I am. People have made comments all my life about my eccentricism, habits and obessesive nature, how blunt and rude I am, the list goes on. To end my story I want to mention that I find it interesting that 5 months before my counselor mentioned Aspergers my grandmother told me she has thought I am on the spectrum. Looking forward to finding out more in July and sharing my experience with the ADOS as a 25 year old man.
 
Hello,
I'm Dena from Texas, age 54. I've been asking questions, researching, and reading/watching Aspie/HFA stories lately, to learn if possibly my son may have HFA due to our therapist talking about it. The more I found out, the more it sounded like me! So I took about every test online I could find that seemed 'reputable'. I score very high, very likely on all of them. I'm still researching, and may go for a dx, but I can say this, if this is so, which I think it is, it surely answers a LOT of questions and why's I've had all my life!!
 
Hello, my name is Edward. I am a 60 year old man who has self diagnosed as autistic
I base this diagnosis on three factors.
1. I was told by two counselors, the last about 25 years ago that I might be autistic.
2. Two online test indicated I was in the middle of the Autism zone.
3. I have worked occasionally with autistic children, and their movements and behaviors are very similar to those I exhibited as a child, and still do when I am alone.
My life has been so unusual and complex, especially as it has pertained to academics. If I could know for sure that I was autistic, I would write a book about my academic issues, as they pertain to the multiple distractions and complex thought processes that stifled my ability to learn. I will write it when I retire in about five years.
Currently, for the last five days, I am dealing with an issue that has me emotionally upset.
I should be able to get over this issue, because it no longer affects me directly. The matter is closed.
But it still troubles me.
I will soon begin a thread on this matter, and hope those who read it can supply an opinion on whether my dwelling on this issue is a symptom of autism.

I should add that in the early 60's when in first grade, I was diagnosed with cross dominance, which the therapist wrote in my chart as being " A highly unusual case".
I struggled with coordination, balance, and depth perception, and could not play organized sports. I was bullied without mercy in school, especially by my so called " friends" in grades 7-12, and indirectly even when in college.
 
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