Does your physical appearance match your inner view of yourself?

[Misery]

I think mirrors are broken.

When I look in one, nothing looks like it really is.

I always think cameras are like that.

It's like, okay, what a beautiful scene here, gonna take a photo, there we go, and.... what in the heck happened, nothing looked like that, you horrible demon box.

weird little flesh-vessel

I read this as "weird little fish vessel" at first and was very confused.

I know I should probably wear my glasses but good grief I cant stand the things.

 

[cooljethro]

I used to be very skinny from being a kid, right up until my early twenties. I had low muscle tone and physically looked very delicate. At about 28 or 29, I started filling out and becoming more traditionally masculine looking with broad shoulders, bigger arms and so on.

I'm not sure how to feel about that really, I've been told by other people that I look better being somewhat overweight than when I was underweight.

 

[Aspychata]

I don't know what the inner person looks like. So my physical look is just that. It opens doors at most, then l have to work hard and be productive when employed.

 

[arithmetic]

I take my appearance very seriously, but for my own reasons. I'll explain ~
... I'm weird, right? I am simply not going to make friends very easily. However a discovery I made a few years ago helps.
As an infant I used to cross dress, borrowing my sister' clothes until the day she informed me that she didn't like wearing my clothes any more than I did. A few years ago, then, I remembered those days and decided to try it again.
Well whoopee! Going down the street I discovered that I had suddenly been cast into a new category of people... almost like a new dimension of existence. All these nice people who, on my previous dress code would have treated me with considerable disdain, gave me nice smiles and sisterhood.
I've never gone back to man dressing. I do my dress and make-up very very well and can be the prettiest. (That really is fun.)
It's probably relevant that I don't have an aggressive sexuality.

 

[Hazel_1914]

I always think cameras are like that.

It's like, okay, what a beautiful scene here, gonna take a photo, there we go, and.... what in the heck happened, nothing looked like that, you horrible demon box.



I read this as "weird little fish vessel" at first and was very confused.

I know I should probably wear my glasses but good grief I cant stand the things.

That would be a bait bucket. I'm bringing minnows, let's go fishing!

 

[velociraptor]

I’m curious if that's just me, and if it's an autistic thing. Anybody else feel that way?

Not for me, but it is a weight loss thing. I no longer look like I have for most of my life. I no longer feel like I have for most of my life. When I look in the mirror today I see 46% of what was in the mirror in the summer of 2020. More jarring, I look very much like my deceased Uncle John now who was in his 50s when he passed.

 

[Dagan]

I've had folks find me on social media (folks from early years, from school, etc.) and say that I had a "glow up." I had to search that trendy phrase for definition, and I.......I guess? I don't see it, but okay. I mean, it doesn't help me any that I can figure. Women aren't chasing after me. Casting agencies aren't filling my inbox like crazy. I don't get special treatment (at all), which should be the case, me thinks.

 

[JayLapointe]

My inner and outer self do not match... and no... I do not like photos or video of myself. Furthermore, if we listen to audio recordings of ourselves, it won't match either... what we "hear" is influenced by bone conduction, whereas what other people hear is something different.

I know it is all a bit of an illusion that our mind is playing on us... but on the other hand, I also believe that our consciousness is something separate from the "meat suit" we are temporarily occupying. We are the energy that makes it all do what it does, but we are not our body, per se.

I'm genuinely glad to see you got a kick out of that term earlier "meat suit". We're all just beings of energy temporarily piloting the bone mech, the meat suit, sometimes meat puppet.

To answer the threads original question no I do not feel that my physical appearance matches the inner view of myself and I have always struggled with this. Never being confident in my own skin, and to add to that I've always felt terribly awkward at times. Like honestly I'll be walking along just fine, then wonder if I'm walking properly, then suddenly I just feel like I've forgotten how to walk normally. Strange phenomenon when it happens. I've always thought of myself as unattractive though apparently I'm told by reliable sources that is far from the case.

For me a lot stems from weight issues growing up and then again in adulthood. Both as a child growing up till about 16, and then again as an adult for most of my 30's/early 40's I was obese close to 110kg (240ish lbs). In both cases I made a commitment to adopting a healthy active lifestyle. No diets or anything just better food choices and a lot more outdoor activities I enjoy. In both cases it took a couple years but I did and have now slimmed down to 85kg (185ish lbs). Despite the fit physical frame I still feel and think like the awkward obese child/adult. The poor self image/ mismatched image for me at least is a large part of the lack of confidence I have in the dating world. Doesn't matter that I'm told I'm pretty, yes oddly I'm a man but I get pretty and very rarely handsome, I do not feel that way. I've had a lot of female friends through the years and the guys they've dated never liked me and I'm told referred to me behind my back as the pretty boy, friend. I guess I was a threat in their mind? I'm rambling now and I'm just going to stop here.