Does my dad have aspergers?

[grant]

He has very specific interests and expects my family to share them. When my friends come he always goes upstairs to avoid seeing them. He doesn't like the idea of me and my mum having a life outside our home. He doesn't really have friends and as far as I can tell doesn't particularly enjoy spending time with people. He is very sensitive to small things, eg a loud family in a restaurant, and these can totally throw his mood. He likes taking my family on long walks and has little sense of how far kids can walk and how hot/cold it is, he just expects us to have the same feelings as him. Does he sound like he has AS?

 

[Kari Suttle]

Possibly. He sounds like he has some of the symptoms. Only an expert in the field can diagnose it but its possible. Of course since i don't know your father its just as possible he's neurotypical rather than an aspie. Some people are just...hard to deal with normally without having anything neurologically wrong with them. But like i said, its possible.

 

[Annie White]

He sounds a lot like my dad. My dad's side of the family is probably where I got my aspergers from. My cousin and I are both diagnosed aspergers. I understand your dads behavior because I do similar things. Just today I got mad at the hospital cafeteria for not posting a note saying they "dont make pizza untill 11am" and I was there at 10;30am. I yelled a little about how I felt it was stupid "GAAAAH STOOPID RULEZ".
Is he willing to get a diagnosis? Because it can put a lot of things in clarity for him as to why he gets upset. Is he aware he may have it? Some people know they have it when it's very hard to find a smart enough doctor to diagnose them, and even though they arent officially diagnosed by a dr, they can still help themselves.
Even though I mentioned my dad, my dad is undiagnosed, but when I was diagnosed I was able to understand myself and I was able to look at the things my dad does in a different way, and to make a long story short; we never had much of a relationship, but after I could "see" what was going on, we now get along just fine. The cool thing is, he gets on a subject and when it's one I am interested in, neither one of us shuts up. It probably drives my mom insane when I visit them.

 

[grant]

He sounds a lot like my dad. My dad's side of the family is probably where I got my aspergers from. My cousin and I are both diagnosed aspergers. I understand your dads behavior because I do similar things. Just today I got mad at the hospital cafeteria for not posting a note saying they "dont make pizza untill 11am" and I was there at 10;30am. I yelled a little about how I felt it was stupid "GAAAAH STOOPID RULEZ".
Is he willing to get a diagnosis? Because it can put a lot of things in clarity for him as to why he gets upset. Is he aware he may have it? Some people know they have it when it's very hard to find a smart enough doctor to diagnose them, and even though they arent officially diagnosed by a dr, they can still help themselves.
Even though I mentioned my dad, my dad is undiagnosed, but when I was diagnosed I was able to understand myself and I was able to look at the things my dad does in a different way, and to make a long story short; we never had much of a relationship, but after I could "see" what was going on, we now get along just fine. The cool thing is, he gets on a subject and when it's one I am interested in, neither one of us shuts up. It probably drives my mom insane when I visit them.

Thanks, this is really helpful! I think if me or my mum suggested he may have aspies he'd just get really stressed and angry; he's kinda narrow minded and doesn't really believe in 'mental disorders' (not saying aspies is but you know he just thinks different ways of thinking don't exist)
Thanks so much!

 

[grant]

Possibly. He sounds like he has some of the symptoms. Only an expert in the field can diagnose it but its possible. Of course since i don't know your father its just as possible he's neurotypical rather than an aspie. Some people are just...hard to deal with normally without having anything neurologically wrong with them. But like i said, its possible.

Thanks so much

 

[Aspieistj]

Is it possible that he is selfish, spoiled and just plain nasty? I've not experienced Aspies being so dictatorial. Being different and uncomfortable can make him withdrawn, but absolutely unkind to his immediate family seems more selfish to me.

 

[alien girl]

Is it possible that he is selfish, spoiled and just plain nasty? I've not experienced Aspies being so dictatorial. Being different and uncomfortable can make him withdrawn, but absolutely unkind to his immediate family seems more selfish to me.

not all aspies are dictatorial. every aspie is different. perhaps he just doesnt know the kids are tired or cold/hot. it's not that he doesnt care, only that he doesnt know.

sounds like he can have asperger. but grant, does he seem hyper, walk on his toes, loves music intensely, either very sensitive or numb to some pains, does he have an enhanced sense and a dull one, like i have a lousy sense of smell but am a super taster. insomnia, stomach aches? does he have a hard time reading expressions and understanding people? rage attacks? shutdowns? general anxiety, ocd? a faraway look in the eyes/dull voice? sensitive to touch? not making eye contact?

there's such a looooong list of signs for asperger syndrome.

 

[musclecarman]

He has very specific interests and expects my family to share them. When my friends come he always goes upstairs to avoid seeing them. He doesn't like the idea of me and my mum having a life outside our home. He doesn't really have friends and as far as I can tell doesn't particularly enjoy spending time with people. He is very sensitive to small things, eg a loud family in a restaurant, and these can totally throw his mood. He likes taking my family on long walks and has little sense of how far kids can walk and how hot/cold it is, he just expects us to have the same feelings as him. Does he sound like he has AS?

if you have it there's a 75% possibility he has it well its got to come from somewhere

 

[grant]

not all aspies are dictatorial. every aspie is different. perhaps he just doesnt know the kids are tired or cold/hot. it's not that he doesnt care, only that he doesnt know.

sounds like he can have asperger. but grant, does he seem hyper, walk on his toes, loves music intensely, either very sensitive or numb to some pains, does he have an enhanced sense and a dull one, like i have a lousy sense of smell but am a super taster. insomnia, stomach aches? does he have a hard time reading expressions and understanding people? rage attacks? shutdowns? general anxiety, ocd? a faraway look in the eyes/dull voice? sensitive to touch? not making eye contact?

there's such a looooong list of signs for asperger syndrome.

Wow this is great, I didn't know a bunch of this stuff, thanks

 

[Annie White]

Thanks, this is really helpful! I think if me or my mum suggested he may have aspies he'd just get really stressed and angry; he's kinda narrow minded and doesn't really believe in 'mental disorders' (not saying aspies is but you know he just thinks different ways of thinking don't exist)
Thanks so much!

You are welcome, Im on this site for help too. So I try to help when I can, if I think I am able. Also, if you do approuch him about it let him know that Aspergers is not a mental disorder but more a neurological issue that can cause problems of we let it disable us. Some people, myself included, are disabled by the sensory side of autism as well as the social. I am a lady with autism and from what I can understand we are affected a bit differently then guys but there are still simularities, I cant handle loud, smells or fellow employees. Lots of people thought I was an asshole or a stuck up ***** because I come off unexpectedly and didnt talk a whole lot and I feel bad because I cant help it, and I feel terrible that im irritated by the sound and lighting of the floresant light up high for example, my couson is the same in the sensory aspect but I do better socially thwn he does, but he still cannot work. Your dad may have his own ways he is affected but it's surely not a mental disorder, and if he is narrow minded explaining to him that way may help him be more open to listening what you have to say about it? I wish you and your family luck. When I learned more in depth about autism and recognized it with my dad as well, I was able to talk to him easier simply because I learned to speak in a way he will "get" and say things the way he needs to hear so it doesnt confuse as much, and this is a guy who has full on physical adult tantrums and can never be wrong in opinions. I now have peace between him and I, due to a few simple things. I would suggest learning and googling as much as you can and see how you may be able to come yp with a unique way to work around your dad in your situation. Im sure he's different than my dad but he does a lot of the same crap it sounds like. Good luck update us.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Is it possible that he is selfish, spoiled and just plain nasty? I've not experienced Aspies being so dictatorial. Being different and uncomfortable can make him withdrawn, but absolutely unkind to his immediate family seems more selfish to me.

Even if he is selfish, that doesn't preclude Aspergers. Aspies can be selfish just as easily as can NTs. However, even selfish NTs are usually sociable. His avoidance of people, and sensory sensitivities do sound like AS.
Anyway the description she gave doesn't actually sound to me like he is selfish, but more like he is unaware sometimes of how others are feeling.

 

[grant]

You are welcome, Im on this site for help too. So I try to help when I can, if I think I am able. Also, if you do approuch him about it let him know that Aspergers is not a mental disorder but more a neurological issue that can cause problems of we let it disable us. Some people, myself included, are disabled by the sensory side of autism as well as the social. I am a lady with autism and from what I can understand we are affected a bit differently then guys but there are still simularities, I cant handle loud, smells or fellow employees. Lots of people thought I was an asshole or a stuck up ***** because I come off unexpectedly and didnt talk a whole lot and I feel bad because I cant help it, and I feel terrible that im irritated by the sound and lighting of the floresant light up high for example, my couson is the same in the sensory aspect but I do better socially thwn he does, but he still cannot work. Your dad may have his own ways he is affected but it's surely not a mental disorder, and if he is narrow minded explaining to him that way may help him be more open to listening what you have to say about it? I wish you and your family luck. When I learned more in depth about autism and recognized it with my dad as well, I was able to talk to him easier simply because I learned to speak in a way he will "get" and say things the way he needs to hear so it doesnt confuse as much, and this is a guy who has full on physical adult tantrums and can never be wrong in opinions. I now have peace between him and I, due to a few simple things. I would suggest learning and googling as much as you can and see how you may be able to come yp with a unique way to work around your dad in your situation. Im sure he's different than my dad but he does a lot of the same crap it sounds like. Good luck update us.

Thank you SO much, I really appreciate that, you're amazing!!