Does anyone get accused of trying to sound intellectual because you use big words?

[GoofKing]

I was accused of lacking intellect because of my filthy mouth :/ Sadly I still cuss like a sailor to this day ...

 

[King_Oni]

I was accused of lacking intellect because of my filthy mouth :/ Sadly I still cuss like a sailor to this day ...

But you could also cuss with big words

 

[GoofKing]

But you could also cuss with big words

You mean like putting the "ass" in associate ?

 

[AmyB8484]

This reminds me a bit of he movie Idiocracy where Luke Wilson's character is cryogenically frozen and wakes up a thousand years in the future as the world's smartest man and everyone thinks that he "talks like a fag," I've encountered a little bit of that from time to time.

LOL, I remember that movie!

 

[AmyB8484]

That's a great way of putting it, about how your reading influenced your speech more so than what you heard around you. I think that was the case with me too - plus I was kinda isolated anyway so the majority of my time was spent in books, with less verbal interaction.

I totally get what u mean about the self-censoring. This is what gets ME: people think that what you need to do is STOP doing something, as in, that you need to just stop adding to your speech, when actually, in order to not talk that way you have to do an extra step. Because the way your brain processes, your thoughts come to you first in the more sophisticated form, and then you have to take an extra step to simplify them after the fact, and other people think that it's reversed. They think you are TRYING to speak the way you do, so all you have to do to "talk normal" is to STOP trying

 

[AmyB8484]

Yes. You are by no means the first to bring up this issue. Verbal communication between individuals with different education and social backgrounds can have issues.

As you noted, you learned how to communicate from books, and while you don't specify, possible TV programs that are "aimed" at a slightly older audience. You didn't pick up your verbal communication style from a peer group. There's probably more to it than that, but that's probably the starting point.

Wow, that's a great way to word it, about picking up my verbal communications style from a peer group.

 

[nowwhat]

Early verbal precociousness is one of the hallmarks of the aspie child. I sure was known for it. As adults, I think because we aren't very good at extracting or providing information nonverbally, we compensate by speaking precisely and descriptively.

There are so many English words with so many shades of meaning. I love using exactly the right words to say exactly what I mean, whether they are florid, profane, humorous or technical. I have always been an avid reader, and have a fairly large vocabulary. I don't like restricting myself to just a few words used loosely, when there are others that capture exactly what I'm trying to say.

As far as self-censoring, I do my best to frame my thoughts so that they will be understood, whatever it takes. We have a dialect or two here, that aren't really English, and I'm fluent in one, to the point of "thinking" in it. The only way to communicate with some people here is to use this dialect. But, I grew up learning it, so it's not a strain. I come by it honestly, and can catch and wield its nuances.

Having said that, I greatly prefer conversing with someone, with whom I can more or less speak what I am thinking, without first translating it into a language with .5% the vocabulary I normally employ to encode thoughts for transmission.

 

[AmyB8484]

I was diagnosed with Asperger's two years ago. Actually the psychologist who diagnosed me called it autism because she knew the DSM 5 was coming out and Asperger's was going to be eliminated. Because I had training in science I spent the next four weeks scouring all of the scientific literature to learn everything I could about Autism. (This is typical of behavior for someone on the spectrum who acquires a new special interest.) I continue to follow the research but not so compulsively. I believe my training in biology helps me to understand autism better than most aspies but mostly it is esoteric knowledge without practical use because autism is still very poorly understood. For example, I remember one article that described thirteen different biochemical pathways that can be attributed to autism. That is interesting but science does not know how these pathways interplay in an individual to create autistic behavior and not every individual on the spectrum has the same affected pathways. The basic situation in autistic science is that the research implicates many specific physiological particulars and psychologists are very good at identifying gross autistic behaviors but the connections between the neurophysiological details and behavior remains a mystery for most aspies. There are exceptions, for example fragile X syndrome and, as chocaholic mentioned on another post, the MTHFR gene, where autistic behaviors can be directly related to a genetic cause.

Wow, I didn't know they were doing away with the Aspergers diagnosis. To me, the thing I liked about having a different word is that when you just say "Autism," I think people picture someone who's barely functional or just way, way off. I always feel like if I just say "autistic" people will think I'm lying or exaggerating, especially because over the years I've learned more and more how to pass as normal. I think that's part of why some people don't seem to believe me and will take me the wrong way, thinking I'm normal and should know better

 

[nowwhat]

I tell people I'm somewhere between Rain Man and Sheldon Cooper. Probably much closer to the former....

 

[bentHnau]

Wow, that's a great way to word it, about picking up my verbal communications style from a peer group.

That is true for me to the nth degree; I didn't even pick up the verbal communication style of the family I lived with.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Has any one read Anne of Green Gables? The main character is frequently criticised by other characters for her use of big words. She is a child and she says she looks forward to being an adult because then people won't mind her peculiar use of language.

 

[Ereth]

Has any one read Anne of Green Gables? The main character is frequently criticised by other characters for her use of big words. She is a child and she says she looks forward to being an adult because then people won't mind her peculiar use of language.

The Anne books are some of my favorites.

 

[KassieMac]

I never connected my style of speech to my love of reading, but it rings true. I always attributed it to an effort to be clear & precise to avoid incorrect assumptions, but it never seemed to work. Some people would reply by asking a question I'd already addressed, some would go on with their incorrect assumptions anyway even though they contradicted what I'd just said, some would get angry & hostile from insecurities because they didn't understand me, and some would find some subtle detail that I hadn't clarified & pounce on it.

In middle school my family moved to a small, backwards town where intelligence was ridiculed & shamed while people felt proud & superior about their backwards ways. Being in my early teens, I desperately wanted to fit in & subconsciously picked up the local accent … so my articulate speech patterns & vocabulary sounded even more ridiculous than before. In high school I had a history teacher mark my book report as 'failing' and accused me of plagiarism, without bothering to look for the source of my words. I took it to my English teacher and asked her to read it (I was in advanced English and advanced history). She read it and wrote him a note stating that I was entirely capable of writing at that level, which just meant the world to me!

I've always had a hard time speaking casually, and it's even more difficult to write casually … it's just not natural to me. If people are offended, ridicule me, or turn angry & hostile, it tells me a great deal about them. When someone asks me what I mean, I know that they're more emotionally balanced, and our communication usually improves from there.

To the original author of this thread, that was an extremely insensitive & defensive comment from your doctor, which makes me question whether he has the emotional stability to be prescribing mental health medications.

Frankly, I'm exhausted from tying myself in knots to avoid offending the immature, and I won't do it anymore. Those people will find fault with whatever I do anyway, so there's no point.

Recently I was talking to one of my doctors and I heard myself say something I'd never thought of before. I think the reason I have such a good memory for details and the ability to articulate myself well is because my brain isn't cluttered up trying to follow or understand the subjective rules of non-verbal communication. It takes up too much space on the hard drive and too much processor power, with little return for the effort. I'll continue to communicate the best way I know how … to be clear & precise, so that anyone who's paying attention can understand. Questions are always welcome, and never ridiculed. I use my resources in the most efficient & productive way possible. Anything else would be a waste.

A couple of examples of people using big words to try to sound impressive: Ulysses Everett McGill in O Brother Where Art Thou (George Clooney) and Arthur on BBC Radio's Cabin Pressure, when he's addressing the passengers. Both hilarious!! But the telltale sign is that what they're saying doesn't make any sense … that is SO not the case with what you said to your doctor, he clearly just didn't get it. That's not on you, though some people will try to make us feel that way.

 

[sometimesunaware]

Yes, I have been ridiculed for the words I use. I was in the ER for some serious pain in my right shoulder. Blood pressure was sky high (a little over 200/a little over 100) yet when the doctor asked about the pain when he first walked in I said it was "excruciating" and he looked put-off and asked "Where did you hear a word like that?!" and I had no idea how to respond. I was shocked and hurt. Mom said something to the effect of 'she has always been well read.' To this day, I am ticked at that doctor. He didn't even attempt to help my pain. He only barely suggested I use a sling for my arm until it felt better. Yes, he felt around the joint and determined it was a rotator cuff issue.

I am still very angry with that doctor and how I was treated. And it seems as I age I become more and more "autistic." That ER incident occurred when I was 21 and I am 30 years old now. I have become more and more isolated as the years pass. My vocabulary gets more and more technical as well. I wish I knew why I was getting "worse" but as long as I am still half-functioning I will not question it.

 

[KassieMac]

Yes, I have been ridiculed for the words I use. I was in the ER for some serious pain in my right shoulder. Blood pressure was sky high (a little over 200/a little over 100) yet when the doctor asked about the pain when he first walked in I said it was "excruciating" and he looked put-off and asked "Where did you hear a word like that?!" and I had no idea how to respond. I was shocked and hurt. Mom said something to the effect of 'she has always been well read.' To this day, I am ticked at that doctor. He didn't even attempt to help my pain. He only barely suggested I use a sling for my arm until it felt better. Yes, he felt around the joint and determined it was a rotator cuff issue.

I am still very angry with that doctor and how I was treated. And it seems as I age I become more and more "autistic." That ER incident occurred when I was 21 and I am 30 years old now. I have become more and more isolated as the years pass. My vocabulary gets more and more technical as well. I wish I knew why I was getting "worse" but as long as I am still half-functioning I will not question it.

That's an incredibly rude & condescending remark, *especially* from a doctor! I've had a lot of experiences like that lately, but I just can't see becoming more articulate as 'getting worse'. People often assume we're stupid because *they* don't understand us, so as I become more self-aware I care far less for being polite to those who are so rude to me. "Doc, that means 'it hurts really bad,' will you help me or not?" Of course I never think of the perfect reply until they're gone, but the less I care about coddling them the better I get at responding directly.

 

[sometimesunaware]

That's an incredibly rude & condescending remark, *especially* from a doctor! I've had a lot of experiences like that lately, but I just can't see becoming more articulate as 'getting worse'. People often assume we're stupid because *they* don't understand us, so as I become more self-aware I care far less for being polite to those who are so rude to me. "Doc, that means 'it hurts really bad,' will you help me or not?" Of course I never think of the perfect reply until they're gone, but the less I care about coddling them the better I get at responding directly.

It was, and I was shocked and had no idea how to respond. I think I did say something but only after mom said what she did. As far as getting "worse" I have noticed as I age I find it more and more difficult to try to dumb-down my vocabulary. It's not like I am actually speaking words that are not understandable, but I seem to get more and more technical each year. I try to re-word my phrases into less technical phrases but it's getting tiring. It seems to be becoming more difficult. I use an an advanced version of an electronic cigarette as I quit smoking 4 years ago (thankfully!) and when explaining how it works to those who are interested I have no idea how to do it without using the correct terms. What I end up saying is "the battery heats up a thingy that vaporizes the nicotine liquid which I then inhale" and to me that sounds very dumb and like I'm talking to a kid, but I can't figure out how to explain it any other way. I know that the voltage of the battery's electricity flows through the atomizer, which is like a light bulb filament, it heats up enough to vaporize the liquid. Hey that works! I can say that!

Things like that are what make it hard for me to communicate with others. And when speaking about a medical condition I have been researching I tend to understand and use specific medical terms which others do not comprehend. I know I'm not the only one with this issue, but it just makes me want to avoid talking about the things I am interested in. I don't know where to turn for conversation with people who likely can understand what I am saying. I know this forum is a good starting point, but even then I feel scared to even strike up a conversation because I worry about offending others with my over-use of logic. I find it difficult to not be logical in everything I think about and speak. It's very frustrating for me.

 

[KassieMac]

It was, and I was shocked and had no idea how to respond. I think I did say something but only after mom said what she did. As far as getting "worse" I have noticed as I age I find it more and more difficult to try to dumb-down my vocabulary. It's not like I am actually speaking words that are not understandable, but I seem to get more and more technical each year. I try to re-word my phrases into less technical phrases but it's getting tiring. It seems to be becoming more difficult. I use an an advanced version of an electronic cigarette as I quit smoking 4 years ago (thankfully!) and when explaining how it works to those who are interested I have no idea how to do it without using the correct terms. What I end up saying is "the battery heats up a thingy that vaporizes the nicotine liquid which I then inhale" and to me that sounds very dumb and like I'm talking to a kid, but I can't figure out how to explain it any other way. I know that the voltage of the battery's electricity flows through the atomizer, which is like a light bulb filament, it heats up enough to vaporize the liquid. Hey that works! I can say that!

Things like that are what make it hard for me to communicate with others. And when speaking about a medical condition I have been researching I tend to understand and use specific medical terms which others do not comprehend. I know I'm not the only one with this issue, but it just makes me want to avoid talking about the things I am interested in. I don't know where to turn for conversation with people who likely can understand what I am saying. I know this forum is a good starting point, but even then I feel scared to even strike up a conversation because I worry about offending others with my over-use of logic. I find it difficult to not be logical in everything I think about and speak. It's very frustrating for me.

Hi!

I completely understand your frustrations, I've been there many times. I won't dumb-down my language (too many people already assume I'm stupid, I won't reinforce that belief), but I try to think of terms they may be familiar with, and also keep in mind that most people aren't interested in the level of detail that we are. For your specific example, maybe (and feel free to adapt this to your liking, if it helps) "the battery generates heat that evaporates the nicotine so I can inhale it." Most people have felt a battery heat up, and most are familiar with liquids evaporating when heated. I often get frustrated, thinking 'if you don't want to know, why did you ask?' … but I guess it's their compulsion to make conversation & fill the air with sound.

My background is in computers & technology, and when I only socialized with people in my field we used a lot of technical jargon … their spouses never came to our happy hours because they felt left out, and when they did I often felt obligated to chit-chat with the ladies and missed out on all the fun. Ugh.

Then I ended up in a couple of jobs providing customer service & technical support to non-techie employees or the general public, and I learned the skill of using analogies. I'd often ponder these things in my off-hours, seeing it as a test to see how well I truly understood the concept. For example, I worked for a school district every teacher & student wanted to be able to connect multiple devices to our wireless Internet. They argued that it should be allowed, and I agreed, but then I'd say something like "have you ever tried to take a shower while the dishwasher, washing machine, and sprinkler were all running? You would get very little water, if any at all. So if all these personal devices connect, none of them will get enough 'water' to work. We'd need a much larger pipeline, and the district can't afford it right now" which led into griping about layoffs, and how we'd all like to stay employed. They usually understood this … they may not be thrilled with the answer, but they couldn't argue. Maybe I'm odd for liking to ponder these things, but it does help me communicate … especially if I've thought it through in advance.

The Aspergers concept is new to me, so I'm still working on that, but here's one I used recently. Most people now use computers, even if they don't understand them. I keep asking for a determination, "Do I have Aspergers?" but no one will say yes or no. My doc just skipped ahead to arguing types of treatment, so I explained "It's like when a box pops up and you have to click Yes or No. There is no 'red X', there's no Cancel, because the computer doesn't know how to act until it knows the answer. That's how my brain is." Does this make any sense?

Anyway, feel free to discuss your logic with me. I truly enjoy an exchange of ideas that stretches my brain, and I get almost none of that in my 'real life' interactions.

Hope this helps,
Kassie

 

[ShatteredUniverse]

I did all the time when I was younger. Of course, back then I didn't want to learn how to adapt my phrasing to the audience at hand, mostly because the people complaining the loudest were the ones who annoyed me the most, and I'm stubborn. Real stubborn.

I learned how to adjust the written word long before I learned how to adjust the spoken.

 

[atrocityexhibition]

Yes--sort of. I try and avoid sounding bombastic with my vocabulary, but sometimes it just slips out. I was telling an artist the other day I was working with to not make piece of art look too derisive and he looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears, to quote the late Jean Shepherd. Sometimes it just comes out

 

[KassieMac]

Yes--sort of. I try and avoid sounding bombastic with my vocabulary, but sometimes it just slips out. I was telling an artist the other day I was working with to not make piece of art look too derisive and he looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears, to quote the late Jean Shepherd. Sometimes it just comes out

I always liked the Don Henley lyric "(She just looked at me, uncomprehendingly) Like cows at a passing train."

Yes, yes, as a matter of fact I am a child of the 80s.