atrocityexhibition
Well-Known Member
That works handily too!
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That works handily too!
I can certainly relate to that! I grew up in a subculture too, where I was constantly made fun of, and criticized because I spoke the way my favorite heroines in books spoke. I was accused of acting like some other culture than my own, when I hadn't the slightest desire to be anyone but the self I happened to be. Even today, I have had health care professionals look at me doubtfully and say something like, "You sound intelligent." Well, duh! Is all I ever want to reply. I also was accused of something called "code switching" (I didn't know what that was) but learned that I was suspected, as the OP said, of trying to show off and impress people with my extensive vocabulary. This I find insulting,since I don't really find anything gratifying about trying to impress people I may never speak or interact with again. I have never understood the need to impress someone, unless they were interviewing me for a job, LOL!Yes. Reading had a greater effect on my style of communication than the speech I heard around me. I preferred nineteenth century novels and had to consciously edit obsolete phraseology, such as using "save for" to mean "except." I didn't have a problem with this outside of the home, because my family members made it so clear that they found my way of talking pretentious, I quickly learned to self-censor. It was however distinctly unpleasant to be scolded by my own sister for not speaking the way the rest of the family spoke, particularly when I had put effort into explaining myself precisely to her. When I did speak the vernacular (while quoting a movie), my dad's girlfriend laughed at me and told my dad that it sounded "strange."
I grew up in a distinct American subculture, and was told that I spoke "like a white person." This was quite a negative way to be branded, because it implied a sort of sociocultural betrayal and self-hatred. When I was small, my uncle came over and asked my dad why his kids spoke "so proper." My dad said that I spoke "more proper" than my sister. I was only about six years old, I was so confused and embarrassed, I barely knew what to say. I didn't understand what was going on because I was speaking naturally, yet the way in which I spoke was somehow a big deal to them. I mumbled assent because I was afraid my dad would get angry if I said "no."
Hell yeah!I'm Aspergers, and because I speak a certain way or phrase things a certain way, I've been accused of being pretentious, or trying to be condescending, or think I'm smarter than other people. The fact is, I just don't know how to speak plainly. I grew up with my nose always in books, and since I had little social interaction, I think I speak the way things are written in books. I don't want to sound that way. I would love it if I knew how to speak "normal" like other people.
Can anyone else relate to this?
I'm Aspergers, and because I speak a certain way or phrase things a certain way, I've been accused of being pretentious, or trying to be condescending, or think I'm smarter than other people. The fact is, I just don't know how to speak plainly. I grew up with my nose always in books, and since I had little social interaction, I think I speak the way things are written in books. I don't want to sound that way. I would love it if I knew how to speak "normal" like other people.
I had a doctor who was writing my antidepressants and ADHD medication,and after I had told him I just wanted to be normal, he asked me to describe what "normal" is. I assumed he was probably going to use the old cliche "Normal is just a setting on your washer," which people always say with good intentions, but not understanding that what they are talking about is within a certain range, and there is a point beyond that range that you may be in, to where that doesn't help you. So I tried to find a way to word it that would make sense, wanting to avoid that response.
So I said something to the effect of, "Well, I just want the chemicals in my brain to fall within the range of what's normal for the majority of the population. I know that there are variations between individuals, but I want to at least be within a range that is functional and socially acceptable." He then told me to stop trying to impress him with how intellectual I was. I hadn't even been thinking about sounding a certain way, that was just the only way I know how to talk, would never even attempt to impress someone who was able to pass the MCAT and actually graduate med school, when I probably wouldn't even make it in pre-med.
This happens often. The only possible way I could avoid it would be to take every thought I want to express and re-word it after the fact, before speaking. People think that you are going an extra step to sound smart, but it would actually take an extra step to sound normal. And I don't even necessarily think I'm that smart, I just talk like a nerd.
Can anyone else relate to this?