I tried to make this concise but, well... you know how it goes.
I find doctor visits highly stressful. The uncomfortable environment (bright lights, loud clock, weird smells), the doctor pounding on the keyboard while I talk. The pressure to explain myself clearly and concisely in a short time is intimidating and I think the way it affects me might be having an impact on the way my doctor interprets what I tell him.
On my first visit with him I described the experiences that had me suspecting ASD, and after listening to me for five minutes or so, he said I had general anxiety. It's true that I'm anxious about certain things (like doctor visits) but I don't actually come close to meeting the criteria for GAD. Thankfully that visit was only to get a referral and I did eventually get the diagnosis of Asperger's. Now I've gone back because during one of my psych visits we realized that my monthly cycle is far more controlling over my life than is typical for most people, and we want to determine if possible whether it's an underlying medical thing or if I'm just highly sensitive to the monthly shifts.
A few minutes into my appointment the doctor said it's all in my head and I need to manage stress better. Great, that's what I came in to find out. The problem is he only based this conclusion on general blood work results from my first appointment and one single question about how much I bleed during menstruation. He actually said "You look fine". I also "look fine" when I have debilitating cramps, headaches, and ovulation pain. Can he measure explosive mood swings, relentless fatigue and thoughts that brush up against suicidal thinking every single month? I don't believe those show up on a blood test. How can he possibly make this conclusion and dismiss me with so little information? I asked if it was normal to feel like garbage for more than 80% of the month and he shrugged and said "we're all different".
His conclusion is that I'm very sensitive to what's going on in my body (true) and that when anything is unusual I become "obsessed" with finding out what's going on (probably more true than I want to admit). But here's the thing. I may be very aware of what's going on in my body and I am aware of that as well. I know my perception of internal sensations is exaggerated. That means I do realize that I'm actually fine even on days when I feel like I'm on the verge of death. I hate visiting the doctor and I would never go there on a whim just in case. My point is, I didn't just come to the doctor on a whim because I felt weird. I went there because it came up in a psych appointment that something is not right. I didn't even bring it up myself, it came up in differential diagnosis and was actually a surprise to me (I thought it just sucked to be a woman and that's that, but apparently it's not this bad for everyone). The question is, is this an aspie sensitivity type thing, or is it a medical thing.
I'm not satisfied that my doctor gave my case fair consideration. It seems like his conclusion is heavily influenced by his perception of me as a generally anxious person. In the end I did get a referral to a gynaecologist, but he made it very clear that he only did it because he thinks my symptoms will magically go away when I'm told nothing is wrong. I mean I hope so, that would be great! But..they were there long before I thought anything was wrong too so I'm skeptical.
Anyway... I guess the first response will be "find a different doctor". So far all the doctors I've been to have been similarly difficult to communicate with so I suspect it's either something about the way doctors in general are, or it's something about me.
I guess this is mostly venting, but I do wonder if anyone else has experiences like this with medical professionals, and if so, do you have any advice to make it easier? I tried preparing with a list of my symptoms ahead of time, and that did help me feel a little calmer during the appointment but that didn't seem to affect the way the appointment went.
Also, maybe it would be better to put this in a new thread but.. do other aspie women relate to this cycle problem? Is it a common issue with ASD?