Doctor brushing me off because of anxiety?

[Raphael Outcast]

I won't endorse that doctors are just "like that."

This is fair comment, we must not denigrate the entire profession, but we have to accept that some of them just are "like that." Unfortunately.

I've run across plenty—even within the mental health field, paradoxically: I mean, you'd think an autism specialist would know how to handle a damaged person with Asperger's, no?!

They're human beings, at the end of the day.

 

[GadAbout]

This is fair comment, we must not denigrate the entire profession, but we have to accept that some of them just are "like that." Unfortunately.

I've run across plenty—even within the mental health field, paradoxically: I mean, you'd think an autism specialist would know how to handle a damaged person with Asperger's, no?!

They're human beings, at the end of the day.

Who is more likely to have a problem communicating accurately and concisely? Someone with four years of college, four more of medical school, and three years of residency in a specialty ... or someone with a disorder which has as a defining feature "difficulties with social communication"?

In other words, patient comes with a known problem communicating. So don't blame it on the doctor. Either improve your communication style, or bring an advocate. Of the two solutions, I think bringing an advocate is a faster and easier solution than a person with autism suddenly becoming a good communicator.

 

[SimplyWandering]

You could have an anxiety disorder and also autism... I am not a fan of doctors diagnosing Without many interactions with the individual.
I have Autism, ADHD (causing executive dysfunction) General Anxiety Disorder and depression. My therapist of 3 years thinks I fit the criteria for Borderine Personality because I overanalyze , am critical, have mentioned I feel empty sometimes and get angry...

However, that could be someone on the spectrum who suffers to be understood and find their place also.

 

[Raphael Outcast]

Who is more likely to have a problem communicating accurately and concisely? Someone with four years of college, four more of medical school, and three years of residency in a specialty, or someone with a disorder which has as a defining feature "difficulties with social communication"? So don't blame it on the doctor. Either improve your communication style, or bring an advocate. Of the two solutions, I think bringing an advocate is a faster and easier solution than a person with autism suddenly becoming a good communicator.

Well, happily, my own current doctor is ready and willing to make what one could call "reasonable accommodations" and reach out to communicate with me, knowing that communication in real time is something I was born unable to keep up with and never will be able to keep up with: the neuropsychological report says there is no hope of "improving" my communication beyond wherever it currently is; my processing speed is slow, and that's that.

If I were in a wheelchair, my wonderful doctor would undoubtedly come down the stairs to talk to me, rather than expect me to drag myself bodily up his staircase; or else maybe he'd have a lift I could use (actually his surgery is in a single-storey building, so this is just a metaphor, obviously).

The fact that I have a G.P. who can establish a conducive rapport and find a way for us to communicate effectively, and have previously had a psychotherapist who was also able to do those things, indicates it is possible for a professional with the will and right personality and the right attributes, such as sensitivity and empathy, to achieve this. But I have seen (or been seen by) countless professionals who either couldn't or wouldn't establish the necessary rapport, and couldn't or wouldn't go the extra mile to communicate: hence my sympathy for the plight Bellacat was describing.

I have heard some research on the B.B.C. indicating that psychiatrists typically spend more time talking than listening, during a consultation, and that chimed with my own experiences; this would be among the reasons it took them from 1995 until 2014 to diagnose my Asperger's, even after I attempted to suggest an A.S.D. diagnosis myself in 1998 (the two psychiatrists who saw me that year were not interested in listening).

Again, it would be wrong to condemn an entire profession, but the standard is not universally high; quality varies, within any profession.

I can't speak for Bellacat, but superadding the extra dimension of an "advocate" would only add to my confusion, not to mention my embarrassment. Still, it does sound a valuable option if available, and worth considering.

 

[Raphael Outcast]

My therapist of 3 years thinks I fit the criteria for Borderline Personality because I overanalyze , am critical, have mentioned I feel empty sometimes and get angry. However, that could be someone on the spectrum who suffers to be understood and find their place also.

Yes, my psychotherapist of many years said the same, but then when the specialist A.S.D. assessment team delivered their report, they ascribed my "weak self-concept", "fragile sense of self", instability etc. to my Asperger's: I needn't bore you with the detail, but these things can apparently go with the A.S.D. territory.

Fully agree the "professionals" can be prone to glib and hasty diagnosis, without ever having established any rapport or let the patient speak. Doesn't seem very professional to me, but apparently is standard practice...

 

[Aspychata]

So typical, l am glad l never went for my cramps because l think the medical community would just make me feel worse.
But one of my boyfriend's would always tell me "it's that time of the month , because you are getting ready to break-up with me."

My mood would darken because of pain and l push people away at that point.

 

[Streetwise]

So typical, l am glad l never went for my cramps because l think the medical community would just make me feel worse.
But one of my boyfriend's would always tell me "it's that time of the month , because you are getting ready to break-up with me."

and it’s the 21st-century men still don’t want to talk about menstruation.

 

[Michael Balog]

This sounds so much like my experience with my psychiatrist right now. I keep saying that I had more than GAD but they wouldn’t listen. So I scheduled a diagnostic testing and lo and behold I was right I have ASD and inattentive ADHD! So in two weeks I will be heading back to the psych and have my diagnostic paperwork in hand!

 

[Streetwise]

This sounds so much like my experience with my psychiatrist right now. I keep saying that I had more than GAD but they wouldn’t listen. So I scheduled a diagnostic testing and low and behold I was right I have ASD and inattentive ADHD! So in two weeks I will be heading back to the psych and have my diagnostic paperwork in hand!

if you can find a psychologist don’t waste your time with psychiatry, they still base there therapy around drugs

 

[Raphael Outcast]

This sounds so much like my experience with my psychiatrist right now. I keep saying that I had more than G.A.D. but they wouldn’t listen. So I scheduled a diagnostic testing and lo and behold I was right I have A.S.D. and inattentive A.D.H.D.! So in two weeks I will be heading back to the psychiatrist and have my diagnostic paperwork in hand!

Congratulations!

Ask your psychiatrist if you can photograph the expression on his face so you can post it on here. And tell him we think he's a schmuck.

Or actually, maybe don't do those things.

If you can find a psychologist don’t waste your time with psychiatry, they still base their therapy around drugs.

Never mind the job title, just find a decent human being with intelligence and sensitivity and insight and empathy and some level of perception above that of a housebrick: these are apparently not among the admissions criteria for any medical or psychiatric training school, but they are assets which can greatly benefit patients such as we.

I don't know how you find that kind of a professional (they don't seem to have a register), I only know it is occasionally possible.

 

[Bellacat]

You could have an anxiety disorder and also autism

This is true. I did discuss that with my psychologist already and through lots of questioning and discussion we agreed that my anxiety is a logical result of the way I experience life, not a disorder of its own. This makes it even more frustrating to go back to the GP who seems to be stuck in a very low level understanding of psychology. I certainly can't be the one to explain the nuances to him.

Having said that, I do think doctors are taught to view the the body as a piece of complex machinery, and I wonder if that might have something to do with this difficulty dealing with things they can't poke or cut off. They are "physicians" after all, so it makes sense they are focused on the physical body. It's kind of reasonable for a GP to be clueless about mental health. What he shouldn't be doing is saying things like "I don't think it's ___" or "It's probably ___" because all that does is frustrate and stress me out when he inevitably says something ignorant. He should just do the routine pulse check and ask some basic physical health questions for the record, then refer me to someone else who is actually trained to address the thing I came in for. If I could just go directly to the specialist that'd be so much better but unfortunately that's not how the system works here.

 

[Raphael Outcast]

I did discuss that with my psychologist already and through lots of questioning and discussion we agreed that my anxiety is a logical result of the way I experience life, not a disorder of its own. This makes it even more frustrating to go back to the G.P. who seems to be stuck in a very low level understanding of psychology. I certainly can't be the one to explain the nuances to him.

That is one unusually good psychologist you have there!

I share your frustration with the G.P. because I've had a few like that. I've also had some psychologists of a calibre similar to that of your damned doctor! So at least you have one decent professional on your team, thus far.

 

[Bellacat]

Oh yeah, he's fantastic. I'm extremely lucky to have ended up with him. I guess in a way, everything is balanced in the big picture

 

[Isadoorian]

I think the answer here's clear: Find a new doctor. If a doctor's unwilling to do something because of something else, then they're not a very good doctor.

 

[Streetwise]

This is true. I did discuss that with my psychologist already and through lots of questioning and discussion we agreed that my anxiety is a logical result of the way I experience life, not a disorder of its own. This makes it even more frustrating to go back to the GP who seems to be stuck in a very low level understanding of psychology. I certainly can't be the one to explain the nuances to him.

Having said that, I do think doctors are taught to view the the body as a piece of complex machinery, and I wonder if that might have something to do with this difficulty dealing with things they can't poke or cut off. They are "physicians" after all, so it makes sense they are focused on the physical body. It's kind of reasonable for a GP to be clueless about mental health. What he shouldn't be doing is saying things like "I don't think it's ___" or "It's probably ___" because all that does is frustrate and stress me out when he inevitably says something ignorant. He should just do the routine pulse check and ask some basic physical health questions for the record, then refer me to someone else who is actually trained to address the thing I came in for. If I could just go directly to the specialist that'd be so much better but unfortunately that's not how the system works here.

System doesn’t work like that Anywhere unless you can pay an exorbitant amount

 

[Raphael Outcast]

Well, I didn't have to pay an exorbitant amount, and when I was short of money my psychotherapist would see me at a discount or free of charge, rather than risk my suicide. She ran her own business and practised from home.

She didn't raise her rate, to me, for 15 years. She just asked me not to tell anyone else about the special rate I was getting. £30 per hour was manageable in 1999, for someone on disability benefits. £30 per hour was an absolute bargain by 2014, when we finished!

And she would routinely allow a 60-minute slot to extend to 75 or 90 minutes, unless she had someone else immediately after me.

So this did involve some phenomenal luck, but you don't necessarily need to be mega-rich (although, given the choice, I'd opt for mega-rich, thanks).

 

[Bellacat]

System doesn’t work like that Anywhere unless you can pay an exorbitant amount

Haha fair enough

 

[Kalinychta]

I can’t even count how many women I know whose medical problems have been dismissed as anxiety by doctors (overwhelmingly by male doctors). A friend of mine gets debilitating headaches and was told that she just has anxiety (she was kicked in the head by a horse, but apparently he found this irrelevant). A friend of hers who was having fatigue and muscle pains was dismissed by her doctor as having anxiety (she was later diagnosed with fibromyalgia by another doctor). I see a neurologist for temporal lobe epilepsy, and when I told him about my autism diagnosis, he dismissed it in 15 seconds, saying that I simply have...anxiety. It’s unreal. It’s gotten to the point where I’m thinking about bringing a male friend or relative with me when I see a doctor, because if a man corroborates my symptoms, I feel that they’ll actually be taken seriously by the doctor.

So don’t be too offended by your doctor’s disrespect and arrogance. They’re just that way. Ninety-nine percent of them seem to be either useless or dangerous or both.

 

[Shenandoah]

I won't endorse that doctors are just "like that." Instead, I'll suggest that communication with the doctor is difficult for you. Take another person who knows you well for an "advocate," even right into the examining room. You'd be amazed what a big difference this can make for you.

It could be a parent, close friend, or life partner. I suppose it could even be a community support worker, although I question whether they would be interested in the role.

I hope this suggestion works for you.

Perhaps not all, but lot of doctors are just "like that". Unable to listen, brushing off. Some told me outright idiotic things in regards to a specific complaint they couldn't find an immediate reason for. I think when faced with masses of people they develop a lot of bias that they are not aware of.

 

[paloftoon]

There are different kind of doctors, and not all are well knowledgeable to be emotional or understand anxiety. There's also a difficult balance that falls on you to figure out people who can help you learn how to balance your anxiety and request or find environments that are more reasonable for you to work in. Some things may not be feasible unless you're willing to pay whatever it takes to make such an environment possible. It's okay to shop around for different doctors. But if after a few doctors, you don't seem to be getting anywhere, especially if a few say similar things, then you have to look at yourself and maybe look for different kinds of doctor(s)/therapist(s) for maybe different things. Good luck.