Hi, I actually joined this site to get input on whether or not my mother may be on the autism spectrum.
Ever since I can remember, my 60 year old mother has always been different. She has never really had friends and the ones she makes, she doesn't keep. She ends up being mad at them for petty stuff and makes it into a bigger deal than it really is. She has turned away people from dating her because they wore white tennis shoes on a first date. She laughs at things that aren't funny, for example, if someone is getting irritated while trying to fix something, she will laugh about them getting mad. She does things without seeming to think of the consequences, like the time she stole cigarettes at age 56, or quitting her job with no backup plan. Even as a child, she would be called out on in school for cleaning and organizing her desk while the teacher was doing a lesson. She would hide in the bushes so nobody would see her so she didn't have to play with kids. She has weird attachments to tangible things like dolls, certain cups, and sort of OCD, like she won't buy bowls unless they're a specific kind or shape, etc. She's obsessed with anything having to do with criminal justice like tv shows, books, and doesn't stop talking about them. I constantly hear the same stories from her about what she did last week or what she is going to do in a couple days, regardless of if I just told her yesterday, that she's already told me that. She doesn't hold jobs very well because she thinks she's incapable of dealing with any sort of technology and underestimates her abilities. It's almost as if her mind shuts down the minute someone starts talking about technology or something new they want her to try. She has difficulty processing what people say. I can't tell you how many times I've had to repeat a simple explanation to her, only to have her still confused. Even when I was in school, I always felt like my mom was the "weird" one and never could fit in as a normal chaperone for field trips and things of that nature. She stares at people A LOT. If we are at a restaurant, she will stare at people eating, with her mouth hanging open. Often times her thoughts are written clearly on her face too. If someone is doing something that she is unsure of or doesn't like, she will stare at them with squinty eyes until I remind her to stop staring. She's very loud when she talks about private things in public and I also have to remind her to be quieter. She's very clumsy too. She's very selfish and childish. This year after Christmas I told her that we weren't buying any adults gifts the following year because it's too expensive and we have our own children to buy gifts for. She was downright mad and so upset because, "You're not going to get your own mother anything for Christmas??!?!" I'm not exaggerating with that one. Yet again, I had to explain more than one time, how my 2 and 4 year old needed gifts for Christmas more than she did. I feel like I have to speak to her like she's a child. I feel responsible for her as if she were my child because of the way she is. I ended up moving out when I was 15, because I could just not stand her anymore. I love her because she's my mother, but we aren't close, we don't share a bond, and to be quite frank, she drives me nuts. She thinks tickling me is still funny and I have been so clear with her that I don't find it humorous and I can't stand being tickled by her. Please tell me I'm not wrong in feeling like she would be diagnosed, if she was tested or seen by someone.....also, Any tips on dealing with a parent that is like this??? My husband and I are constantly in fights about her because he thinks I coddle her, but he just doesn't understand that she just cannot do a lot of things by herself. I don't want to be responsible for her, but I feel like I am.
Ever since I can remember, my 60 year old mother has always been different. She has never really had friends and the ones she makes, she doesn't keep. She ends up being mad at them for petty stuff and makes it into a bigger deal than it really is. She has turned away people from dating her because they wore white tennis shoes on a first date. She laughs at things that aren't funny, for example, if someone is getting irritated while trying to fix something, she will laugh about them getting mad. She does things without seeming to think of the consequences, like the time she stole cigarettes at age 56, or quitting her job with no backup plan. Even as a child, she would be called out on in school for cleaning and organizing her desk while the teacher was doing a lesson. She would hide in the bushes so nobody would see her so she didn't have to play with kids. She has weird attachments to tangible things like dolls, certain cups, and sort of OCD, like she won't buy bowls unless they're a specific kind or shape, etc. She's obsessed with anything having to do with criminal justice like tv shows, books, and doesn't stop talking about them. I constantly hear the same stories from her about what she did last week or what she is going to do in a couple days, regardless of if I just told her yesterday, that she's already told me that. She doesn't hold jobs very well because she thinks she's incapable of dealing with any sort of technology and underestimates her abilities. It's almost as if her mind shuts down the minute someone starts talking about technology or something new they want her to try. She has difficulty processing what people say. I can't tell you how many times I've had to repeat a simple explanation to her, only to have her still confused. Even when I was in school, I always felt like my mom was the "weird" one and never could fit in as a normal chaperone for field trips and things of that nature. She stares at people A LOT. If we are at a restaurant, she will stare at people eating, with her mouth hanging open. Often times her thoughts are written clearly on her face too. If someone is doing something that she is unsure of or doesn't like, she will stare at them with squinty eyes until I remind her to stop staring. She's very loud when she talks about private things in public and I also have to remind her to be quieter. She's very clumsy too. She's very selfish and childish. This year after Christmas I told her that we weren't buying any adults gifts the following year because it's too expensive and we have our own children to buy gifts for. She was downright mad and so upset because, "You're not going to get your own mother anything for Christmas??!?!" I'm not exaggerating with that one. Yet again, I had to explain more than one time, how my 2 and 4 year old needed gifts for Christmas more than she did. I feel like I have to speak to her like she's a child. I feel responsible for her as if she were my child because of the way she is. I ended up moving out when I was 15, because I could just not stand her anymore. I love her because she's my mother, but we aren't close, we don't share a bond, and to be quite frank, she drives me nuts. She thinks tickling me is still funny and I have been so clear with her that I don't find it humorous and I can't stand being tickled by her. Please tell me I'm not wrong in feeling like she would be diagnosed, if she was tested or seen by someone.....also, Any tips on dealing with a parent that is like this??? My husband and I are constantly in fights about her because he thinks I coddle her, but he just doesn't understand that she just cannot do a lot of things by herself. I don't want to be responsible for her, but I feel like I am.
