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Do you talk to your parents much?

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Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Do you talk to your parents much?

I don't. In fact, I speak to my parents so little that they don't even "know" me. It's always been this way. They assume me to be simple-minded as I hardly speak around them. They speak to me in a very condescending way, yet they themselves aren't bright at all. I say the odd thing to my parents from time-to-time simply because they're family and family "must" speak to each other no matter what, right (lol)? I can't avoid them, but I wish I could - probably not completely, though. This may sound mean, but there isn't much for me to like about them. I don't share their views on many matters, they're interested in very different things than I am, their sense-of-humor is the opposite of mine and they have an overall very different outlook on life than I do. However, despite not "clicking" with them, I don't hate them - much. Kidding.

Lots of non-family members know me much better than my parents do. Hell, people from this board probably know me better than my parents do. My parent's notions about me are way off. I know that I'm viewed as being this naive imbecile when this isn't the case. People assume this about me because I go out of my way to avoid speaking to people or letting them know anything about me. Socially retarded people like us on the spectrum often are viewed as being imbeciles simply because we don't bother speaking much or letting anyone know anything about ourselves. The false way my parents and others view me actually doesn't completely bother me. If they view me as being imbecilic, all the better. If they view me as being imbecilic, they'll have lower expectations of me.
 
???, very interesting and insightful. Actually, I'm very close to my mother, but my extended family and my dad would be much more similar to the relationship you share with your parents. I've often seen lower functioning spectrum kids and young adults and feel I can almost sense that same thought from them...I even get a little upset at how condescending some parents seem to be...I usually just have to tell myself that they mean well and just don't really understand. Plus, I learned that lesson too...that you don't have to do as much if people think you can't. ;)
 
I do not talk to mine at all. My father is deceased,and my mother cares for nothing much beyond her beer,and gambling. and since i am not interested in these lifestyle choices there is little for us to talk of.
 
I talk to my mom when she calls. Never did have a relationship with my dad when he was a live. My extended family aren't people I care to talk to so I avoid them. I've honestly never pursued those relationships at all, but that doesn't mean I don't care about any of them. My friends are chosen by our ability to relate and communicate.
 
I suppose in comparison I could say I am "close" with my parents. They have been supportive of me all my life, gave me some wonderful experiences growing up. Despite all that they have done for me, and what good people they are, I don't think I have that much of a "bond" with them. I like them, I even tell them I love them, (and I think that I mean it) and have some happy memories of them, but I think once they are gone I will not think about them very much. We live in the same town and we rarely see one another, although they do comment on my facebook stuff sometimes. I don't think I want to even discuss Asperger's with them, even though I have so many questions. about me as a child. I feel like they would just end up feeling like they have failed me somehow, like they did when I told them about the terrible depression and suicidal thoughts I lived with as a teenager. They saw all the signs and cries for help but decided it was just a phase. My dad also knew I was likely gay by the time I was a teenager, but never said a word, never let me know it would be OK. Different times I suppose. So maybe no, I'm not that close with them.
 
I talk to my mum on the phone for 5 minutes a day and for an hour on the days that I visit my parents. I try to have a conversation with my dad, but it fizzles out quickly because I've gotten out of a grudge that I was holding against him, 14 months ago and I need to develop the bond that I had with him at the age of 13.:twitcy:
 
I have absolutely no relationship with my biological father, who abandoned us when I was 7.

My relationship with my mother was very good when I was little. We were as close as could be. But then as I entered my teenage years, our relationship quickly started to decline. My mother became increasingly emotionally and physically abusive. At the slightest provocation, real or imagined, she would scream, yell, threaten, call me terrible names-- as terrible as she could think up. She would throw punches, drag me around by my hair, beat me with a wooden spoon until there were bruises all over my body, rip my clothes off. I never hit back, because two wrongs don't make a right. I was better than that.
I bode my time, and then I took the first opportunity I could to escape that hostile environment. Almost as soon as I turned 18, I moved in with my now husband, and found out what a truly loving family household is like.

I never call my mom, though I do pick up when she calls. When she says "I love you", I say it back. But I always feel a little sick inside for lying. I don't love my mother. I feel that at this point, our relationship is irreparable.

I try to maintain a relationship with my stepdad. I love him, but I don't call as often as I should. Sometimes we go to see a movie or something.
 
I talk to my parents a lot, pretty much every weekend. We are 2500 miles away now, but I have always been pretty close to them and I enjoy talking to them. Over the last few weeks, I've had some of the most enjoyable conversations I have ever had with them since I have discussed my potential condition with them. It's been quite enlightening for them as well because they have looked back on certain situations that occurred with me in the past and seem to have a better understanding of why they happened since I appear to be an Aspie.
 
I don't talk to my dad much because it's hard thinking of things to talk about. With Mom I have trouble finding time to talk. Whenever I want to talk to her it seems she's either taking an afternoon nap, on the phone with my grandmother, talking to my sister, or talking to Dad. Each of those can take quite awhile.
 
I view my parents as people I'm forced to get along with, for the benefit of the entire family and myself. If I behave well they allow me to go out, pay for things I'm unable to and are more lenient. It's apparently a cold way of thinking about it, but I get along with them because it's the rational thing to do. Even then I sometimes just can't bear them, and we have a huge argument. I know this is a weird post, but I'm just so sick of them right now. They don't realise just how much I wish I could leave and never come back. I'm just so over them and their drama!
 
My mum died 4 months ago- so I can only replay past conversations and try and channel her values. I speak to my Dad every fortnight or so or as news unfolds.
 
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