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Do you sit on the grass anymore?

I'm neither a physical nor outdoor person, and still I've sucked it up and coped. I have flat feet and myriad allergies, including mold and pollen, so me and outdoorsmanship do not get along. Plus, my thyroid is hosed, my resting heart rate has been known to idle above the normal range, and I'm pretty sure I have neurological injuries from an assault I suffered. I still wound up living in a tent in a park in the Colorado mountains just outside Denver, for a while, as winter closed in, and by some lovely coincidence, it frosted my first night out, and I discovered in the nastiest way possible that Walmart photoshops its tent images on the retail box to conceal that a lot of their tents have open mesh and are not meant to protect you from wind or cold. It could have been a fun adventure if not for the abysmal circumstances, which involved being left up the creek by family distracted by, shall we say, extremely worldly concerns.
 
I spend almost no time outdoors to begin with, but I will say that the concept of sitting in the grass is untenable for me to even think of doing now. I remember when I was a child I did it on some circumstances and I remember how it got my clothes so dirty.

The number one concern to me is bugs, though. I have a phobia of insects touching me. D: I suppose right now in the winter the insects have crawled to whatever hellpit they come from so it's safe, but usually it's not lol.
 
I spend almost no time outdoors to begin with, but I will say that the concept of sitting in the grass is untenable for me to even think of doing now. I remember when I was a child I did it on some circumstances and I remember how it got my clothes so dirty.

The number one concern to me is bugs, though. I have a phobia of insects touching me. D: I suppose right now in the winter the insects have crawled to whatever hellpit they come from so it's safe, but usually it's not lol.
If you get any more angry at those poor bugs, you'll begin to sound like me.
 
I do like to sit on the grass but I check to make sure there are no ant hills and that no animals have used the restroom there first.
 
I would, if it weren't for the ticks and spiders. Up to maybe 10 years ago I would work outside all day and never have a problem with either one. Now it's like every time I go outside. Spiders too. My yard is loaded with orb weavers and large wolf spiders. Might be why I don't have a lot of mosquitoes. But one of the things I hate the most is spiders in the house and garage. I spray the house a couple times a year with Ortho Home Defense. I keep a wide row of lawn granules along the garage door, and there are piles of spiders by the end of summer.

Every time I go outside to work on something in the yard, I tuck in all my clothes, and spray myself with bug spray. And especially after mowing, I brush out my hair outside upside down, then immediately head for the shower with hot water and tea tree shampoo. If I don't do that, I will most certainly bring in ticks and spiders to the furniture. Have enough times in the past.

But living in the boonies surrounded by woods is still worth it.
 

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