Do you ever just not care?

[Effy]

I try to relate a lot, but I never can. No matter how hard I try, I just don't care in the end. I suppose it's an empathy thing - a lot of people say I lack empathy, and yeah, I do - but I go through bouts of not being able to care any less about many various, sometimes random, things.

Anyone else have the same feeling?

 

[Randomperson]

I try to avoid caring about anything as well, as caring about something only brings pain when you lose it or lose access to it. Caring and hope are fine for some people, but some of us only find them to be sources of even more new mental scars.

 

[Effy]

I don't try. It's not me deliberately trying. I just don't care. I can't make myself care, because then I get even more bored.

 

[Randomperson]

Well if I have learned anything, its that boredom is preferable to pain.

 

[Effy]

I'd rather be numb than have boredom or pain, but I'd choose pain over boredom simply because boredom is boredom. But Idk.

I'm open to other views.

 

[Harrison]

Early in my life I cared very little, I would drift from one relationship to another or from one job to another instantly. I saw that people would get angry or frustrated with me but I rarely understood why, I just felt they were limited in their outlook and over sensitive. I couldn't see the trail of destruction I left behind.

As I have aged I find I care about a few things, mostly those things that affect me directly. I can't say I'm bored as my life offers enough variety each day to keep me happy, but the more I understand myself the less I want to interact with the types of people I knew before as I enjoy being alone.

Interestingly, this year I've begun to 'care' about the problems that young aspies are facing. Maybe it's because I got to this ripe old age and I see them struggling at the start of what is a great adventure. I don't know, maybe I just enjoy knowing others like me

I've seen a lot of pain in my years, been at the edge too many times, but would I rather be numb to life? No, I don't believe I would. Adversity was my greatest teacher, my strongest enemy and, now, my oldest friend. Each time it knocked me down, mocked my tears, laughed in my face, I would get up and find a solution. I know that when times were good I drifted along, then I was numb, there was nothing to test my mettle. I may have lost a few battles but I never lost the war, I ain't dead yet.

 

[umbrellabeach]

When I have a really bad day I stop caring about everything and just want to be left alone.

 

[Judge]

When I have a really bad day I stop caring about everything and just want to be left alone.

Yep. I need only one word for this in the extreme for me.

-SHUTDOWN

 

[bentHnau]

...about what? Other people?

 

[epath13]

Do you mean you can't emotionally relate, when somebody is happy or sad and want to share their experience? One more question, when you're concerned about something, do you want to share you thoughts and feelings with others? Do you care if they want to listen to you, or support you in anyway or not?

 

[Raul]

I do care about the people around me. Even if I see someone on the street homeless or in suffer it breaks my heart. The feeling is sometimes too overwhelming .... Despite this I know that I cant do much to change their destiny, we don't have the control over the Universe.

 

[Hidden]

It depends on what it is. And horribly, if I can't relate to it.....then no, I don't care. It makes me sound horribly selfish, and I guess I am - I've tried to make myself care by actually listing all the reasons of why I should be caring etc. But it doesn't matter - I'm completely distanced from it mentally. I will do what I can to help them, but inside I'm rolling my eyes. Even though I know I shouldn't be.

 

[supernova]

I try to relate a lot, but I never can. No matter how hard I try, I just don't care in the end. I suppose it's an empathy thing - a lot of people say I lack empathy, and yeah, I do - but I go through bouts of not being able to care any less about many various, sometimes random, things.

Anyone else have the same feeling?

I have difficulty caring in an emotional way. Some people, when they care in this way seem to see the object of their affections 'through rose-coloured spectacles'. I can't do that. I love my partner very much but then he's someone I would have great respect for even if I didn't love him.

If you're talking about events, things going on in the world, I can't get all emotional over distressing scenes. I care rationally but I can't get trearful and distressed as some people seem to.

Does that make sense?

 

[Effy]

I have difficulty caring in an emotional way. Some people, when they care in this way seem to see the object of their affections 'through rose-coloured spectacles'. I can't do that. I love my partner very much but then he's someone I would have great respect for even if I didn't love him.

If you're talking about events, things going on in the world, I can't get all emotional over distressing scenes. I care rationally but I can't get trearful and distressed as some people seem to.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, it makes sense. I tend to care a lot more about things from a logical perspective. For example, I look at relationships from a logical perspective, and if it's logical, I'll care.

 

[Cyllya]

I think aspies tend to have trouble with perceptive empathy (i.e. being able to identify what others are feeling) and maybe predictive empathy (i.e. being able to predict what someone will feel if a certain thing happens), but are pretty similar to the general population in terms of caring empathy (i.e. giving a damn about other people's feelings). From what I can tell, the idea that aspies/auties lack caring empathy comes from people getting confused by the various definitions of "empathy."

If you're apathetic about everything in life, that sounds like something along the lines of a depressive disorder (or maybe just overstimulation).

I think it's normal to not really care about all the horrible tragedies in the world that aren't effecting you directly, e.g. children starving in Africa. Or whatever.

It seems like some people need to care about things a different amount before they feel inclined to talk about those things. Some people are just more talkative. If you're not very talkative, it can seem like everyone must be really, really concerned with whatever they want to talk about, but it's quite likely that they actually just like to talk more. I feel like celebrity gossip probably only exists to give super talkative people something to talk about.

 

[Effy]

I think aspies tend to have trouble with perceptive empathy (i.e. being able to identify what others are feeling) and maybe predictive empathy (i.e. being able to predict what someone will feel if a certain thing happens), but are pretty similar to the general population in terms of caring empathy (i.e. giving a damn about other people's feelings). From what I can tell, the idea that aspies/auties lack caring empathy comes from people getting confused by the various definitions of "empathy."

There's actually an article about aspies lacking empathy: Neuroscience Sheds Light on Why People with Asperger’s Syndrome Lack Empathy | Psych Central

 

[epath13]

There's actually an article about aspies lacking empathy: Neuroscience Sheds Light on Why People with Asperger’s Syndrome Lack Empathy | Psych Central

From what I have seen in most of people with Autism without any additional neurological conditions that may affect ability to empathize, we can do it, it's just the way we process emotions is not typical that's why it may appear were not empathetic. And ... from a lot of comments on this forum it's pretty clear most folks here are fully capable of feeling and expressing empathy.