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Do you completely accept your Autism/ Aspergers?

Absolutely. I've dealt with long-term denial on unrelated issues. It ain't pretty.

Although I'm not formally diagnosed, I feel being self-aware allows me to work on that I can and wish to improve. However equally as important, it allows me to accept those traits and behaviors I cannot overcome. For me, such acceptance amounts to a form of peace of mind. Something that has managed to elude me most of my life.
 
I didn't completely, in that unsure phase when I was self-diagnosing. But at some point I became sure, and I embraced it totally. I think it was after about 6 months of regularly participating on my first Aspie forum. Quite early on I saw I matched the symptoms well, but it was seeing what that meant in practical terms in people lives, that clarified it for me.
 
Absolutely. I've dealt with long-term denial on unrelated issues. It ain't pretty.

Although I'm not formally diagnosed, I feel being self-aware allows me to work on that I can and wish to improve. However equally as important, it allows me to accept those traits and behaviors I cannot overcome. For me, such acceptance amounts to a form of peace of mind. Something that has managed to elude me most of my life.
Denial is a very strange experience. The truth is always sitting back there in your mind ranting angrily at you, demanding to be acknowledged...
 
And it DOES catch up with you eventually. Even if it takes decades.
Yes, and it can be just as bad as the original experience. But afterwards, maybe a bit of a relief. Now that it's out in the cognitive open and you can deal with it. It's not scratching at the walls in your mind any more.
 
I would love to be one to accept my Asperger's. Most of the time, I do, but there's a BIG hurdle that gets in the way of all this. That's how my rather artistic (music, poetry, other things related to the arts) interests tend to clash with those of the "typical" Aspie (computers, sci-fi, anime, video games - note the quotation marks for the word "typical" :p ) I have met very few Aspies whose interests relate to mine, and it makes it rather difficult sometimes for me to make friends on the spectrum (though I do have some). Another reason I don't quite accept my Asperger's is because most people tend to think that "Asperger's" is basically another way of saying that you're an unstable, somewhat angry person whose anger is unintentional. That's only PARTLY true, in my case. I've come a long way, and my anger and outbursts are in control now more than they ever have been. Plus, I hate getting angry!! (Who doesn't, really?) I'd rather have people know me for my happy, friendly side, or my sensitive side, as those aspects of myself are largely representative of who I am.

On the plus side, I've befriended plenty of Aspies due to my weird, quirky sense of humor :p I want to be more than just a social comedian, though, and unfortunately, my more sensitive side often goes somewhat poorly nurtured due to my Asperger's. Any thoughts on this? Looking forward to hearing any replies back to this! :)
Well I like music :) Is it classical ? Our other type ? - Its better if we continue this conversation on the inbox so the thread continues with its original topic.
 
When I joined AC, I didn't even know I was an Aspie yet. It was two people here who convinced me to take online tests and get an evaluation. I had such affection and admiration for both of them, and liked everyone here so much, that by the time I got diagnosed I was lined up to embrace my Asperger's in a bear hug.

It has answered so many questions, after years of misdiagnosis with various mental disorders that just didn't fit. That also made acceptance easy. So did the extraordinary support of my family and friends. I got really lucky all the way around.
 
I sometimes try to accept that I have Aspergers. I found out I had Aspergers at the age of 15, and joined this website at 16. I am happy that I was diagnosed, I understood myself a lot more. Outside of that though I can get confused with myself sometimes.

I am happy knowing that I'm different, there's nothing wrong that. I think Aspergers can have advantages too which help me, such as focusing on details more which helps me with Art. I think it may have also helped me when it comes to thinking about stuff. I'm not sure how to explain it but there's times where I feel very peaceful inside than on the outside. I think Aspergers may have helped me with creativity too.

Though it can annoy me at times with the downsides, such as difficulties with social interaction and understanding. I often have difficulties understanding other people as well as expressing/explaining myself, which makes it difficult for others to understand me sometimes (mostly non-Autistic people). Though if I had a choice to get rid of my Aspergers completely (with sorcery magic) or keep it, I feel I'd choose to keep it.
 
Do I completely accept my Aspergers?

Evidently not.
When I'm feeling fine, sure, it's part of me, makes me.. different.. maybe and I've learned to like myself - it's taken me many years to be able to say that.

I'm having a bad day today and I really don't like myself - had a meltdown last night and feel pretty ragged today - I don't like who I am or how I've been.

I want to be like a normal person..
I want to be human.

.. So I guess I don't completely accept my Aspergers.
 
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Do I completely accept Aspergers?

Evidently not. When I'm feeling fine, sure, it's part of me, makes me.. different.. maybe and I've learned to like myself - it's taken me many years to be able to say that.

I'm having a bad day today and I really don't like myself - had a meltdown last night and feel pretty ragged today - I don't like who I am or how I've been.

I want to be like a normal person..I want to be human. So I guess I don't completely accept Aspergers.


I think you're very human, Spiller. You have more humanity in you than many NTs I know. It's not your Asperger's that's dragging on you so badly, I don't think. It's that damned depression. That can make a person feel pretty alien just by itself.

There are plenty of us here who like you even when you don't like yourself. Please don't forget that. And I for one like your Asperger's, because it's part of what's made you, you and I wouldn't have had the pleasure of knowing you if our mutual neurology hadn't brought you here. :rose:

I've addressed the rest in my PM. ;)
 
Do I completely accept my Aspergers?

Not like I have much of a choice, do I. One of the big positives of having AS is I have very good engineering skills and engineering problem solving skills. Of course, we all know about all the negatives that come with it. Like social deficiencies. That's one of the reason I can't get a job in the first place. Sometime I wish I could trade some of my engineering skills for some social skills to balance things out. But I guess that like wanting to use 9 women to make a baby in 1 month. Thing just don't work that way.
 
I think you're very human, Spiller. You have more humanity in you than many NTs I know. It's not your Asperger's that's dragging on you so badly, I don't think. It's that damned depression. That can make a person feel pretty alien just by itself.

There are plenty of us here who like you even when you don't like yourself. Please don't forget that. And I for one like your Asperger's, because it's part of what's made you, you and I wouldn't have had the pleasure of knowing you if our mutual neurology hadn't brought you here. :rose:

I've addressed the rest in my PM. ;)
You are, truly, an incredibly lovely person. This is one of many replies I've seen you write, and you are invariably kind, genuine and supportive.
 
I have no diagnosis, but whatever my issues are I would not say I "accept" them.

Do I accept that I am apparently unemployable and can't master skills that other people take for granted despite being apparently intelligent? Absolutely not. It's so frustrating.

Then the frustration, depression, and feelings of inadequacy build up to the point that even the things I am passionate about and good at seem impossible. I have no patience, no ability to focus. I can't even think about undertaking a project right now without (metaphorically) tearing myself to shreds.

It's like I am two people; this smart and talented person who could do great things if given the chance, and this spiteful idiot who spends all of her time sabotaging the first person. I want to kill that second person, but she is just as much me as the first.

All I can do is try to distract myself from self destructive thoughts and hide the full extent of my feelings for the sake of those around me.

I am in so much pain right now. It hurts to have ambition, it hurts to give up. I feel trapped.
 
I'm so sorry you're hurting, Datura.

I can second your intelligence; I enjoy reading your insights and you often have a great way with words. I've assumed from the start that you have many talents from the small snapshots I see of you here.

Bridging that gulf between potential and capacity for realizing it can be incredibly hard. All that struggle is such a drain on energy to do the things that do come naturally. This, from a fellow master self-saboteur.

I hope you can find a way to put your bully twin in a long Time Out, and find islands of peace in your distractions to help you make progress. Until then, don't feel like you have to hide your feelings. You've got us to understand you, and internalization will only cannibalize what energy you do have.
 
I do accept it, and I've not known for very long. It answers so many questions I've had in my life about myself. From early in my childhood to the present.

My mother used to say that I was the most difficult, willful child she's ever encountered. That she was continually concerned about me, I think that it was more that I was less 'compliant' than my siblings.

Don't consider the asperger's self-diagnosis as detracting from who I am, I see it as part of who I am. Something that makes me understand myself better.
 
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Yes, I accept it. I feel that I found the missing final piece of the jigsaw that answers the question of who I am, and what makes me tick.
 

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