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Do other women on the spectrum have trouble dating

Still it won't surprise me if the vast majority of people in the world who reach ages like 30 or 40 and have never been with anyone are mostly male-dominated cases and older.

A perfect example, when Hollywood made the movie The 40-Year Old Virgin with Steve Carrell.

It's quite obvious as to why the title character of the movie was a guy or male
 
There was a group of woman who meet up in a town near me. Their group title was Woman over forty never Married. That was a surprising title to me, but it does point out a outdated concept as less and less couples are getting married. My last two dates were actually men who stated "l bet you are looking to get married." I was married for 18 years, so that isn't really a requirement, been there, did that. There are a lot of shifting standards, more men live at home with their parents, more woman are heading to college, or are working full-time. More people are more likely to live together then marry. And alimony laws were changed. No more tax write offs for those who pay alimony. Florida eliminated permanent alimony. And the ability for men to find what they want via live streams of private video cams of whatever. These changing dynamics have altered the traditional dating that the older generations subscribed to vs swipe left, swipe right, voila, here is your match, until you get tired of me.
 
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Moonhart44 said:
I wouldnt say i had trouble finding someone, being a woman it doesnt seem hard to do, but i have trouble maintaining them. I am saying this because i am sure my boyfriend wants to friendzone me. he thinks i am "awesome" and "beautiful" but my depressive episodes, and certain problems caused by symptoms or side effects of being on the spectrum (executive functioning problems) pushes him away. I have been told i need to break up with this guy many times. I see the logic in that. I just feel sad that I feel that I am running out of time? I feel that i am starting to realize a pattern, that i always knew but thought i was exaggerating: that i'm not marriage material. not necessarily marriage but . . . meaning like no one would settle down with me, live their dreams and invite me to be a passenger, those kind of things..

do other women experience this? do you guys experience this feeling that, men are intangible? the possibility of being happy with one "forever" is a joke?
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I think it is normal to have autistic struggles and trauma struggles.
I think autistic relationships are hard and not always smooth sailing and may take a while to get right.
I think maybe you should seek like counselling if you can, someone to talk about your issues.
I think if you like this guy seek help and see how it goes, communication is helpful, even if you break up then you may find someone better or if you break up and miss each other, you could get back together in the future.
Your trauma and negative thoughts are telling you that you are not worth it but you are.
And there is someone if not this guy that will want to live your dreams and love you the rest of your life.
Ask yourself, do you really love this guy, is there a deep connection? Is it worth fighting for?
Yes, very easy to go through those feeling as well, I mean one forever, one big commitment, forever is a long time and you can never be single again. Or live single or as am independent individual, you have to in some sense think of the other person.
So...autistic may be different but who knows what that is like until you know it. The learning curve for an autistic may be big.
I do not myself know what single independent Laura is let alone how being in a relationship would be .different.
Some autistics may not chose romantic or sexual relationships either, just platonic relationships.
 
I'd say the main reason why a lot of my comments have been expressing bitterness and resentment is because I got out of a failed relationship a few months ago and it was unsatisfying and yes I know a lot of you are going to be shocked that you would think that a person with my attitude would be able to get into a relationship but of course my attitude was much better at the beginning of the relationship but has the relationship progressed I unfortunately discovered that my partner had an asexual personality.

The companionship and emotional aspect of the relationship in terms of supporting each other mentally and emotionally was the positive and good part but it was mostly lacking in the physical intimacy part.

She was self-conscious and insecure about physical intimacy a lot so it was a mostly or pretty much sexless relationship.

That made me feel like I wasted my time with her but for a while I was reluctant to break up with her because I didn't want to be alone and Single Again. Another way to put it, I didn't want to have to go through the drama or the burden of having to put myself out there all over again and not wanting to have to hit on or Court a woman or having to pursue and Lead interactions all over again, even if it means finding someone new or better.
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
I'd say the main reason why a lot of my comments have been expressing bitterness and resentment is because I got out of a failed relationship a few months ago and it was unsatisfying and yes I know a lot of you are going to be shocked that you would think that a person with my attitude would be able to get into a relationship but of course my attitude was much better at the beginning of the relationship but has the relationship progressed I unfortunately discovered that my partner had an asexual personality.

The companionship and emotional aspect of the relationship in terms of supporting each other mentally and emotionally was the positive and good part but it was mostly lacking in the physical intimacy part.

She was self-conscious and insecure about physical intimacy a lot so it was a mostly or pretty much sexless relationship.

That made me feel like I wasted my time with her but for a while I was reluctant to break up with her because I didn't want to be alone and Single Again. Another way to put it, I didn't want to have to go through the drama or the burden of having to put myself out there all over again and not wanting to have to hit on or Court a woman or having to pursue and Lead interactions all over again, even if it means finding someone new or better.
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Sounds like you are still healing from a lot of hurt.

A mismatch between two people in a relationship can cause so much pain.
 
Rodafina said:
Sounds like you are still healing from a lot of hurt.

A mismatch between two people in a relationship can cause so much pain.
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Yeah and it only added fuel to fire in terms of pain because I have been alone and single most of my life because before I dated her my only ever previous relationship was at 29 but that only lasted for a couple of months but she was the opposite of the other one when it came to physical intimacy but since it was a very short relationship that's why there wasn't that many.

Obviously I'm aware that when there is mismatch in a relationship, the obvious solution is to break up with the person and move on and find someone you or find someone better but I hate and resent having to do that as a guy or human male because I know that I'm going to have to do the pursuing and Court the woman and make a move on her and ask her out and leave the interaction and initiate things with her while women can always just literally just sit back and let it all happen to them
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
Yeah and it only added fuel to fire in terms of pain because I have been alone and single most of my life because before I dated her my only ever previous relationship was at 29 but that only lasted for a couple of months but she was the opposite of the other one when it came to physical intimacy but since it was a very short relationship that's why there wasn't that many.

Obviously I'm aware that when there is mismatch in a relationship, the obvious solution is to break up with the person and move on and find someone you or find someone better.
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I can definitely understand parts of what you're saying. I have stuck around in bad friendships for too long because it just seemed better than having no friends at all. The idea of having a bad friend who is familiar was more comfortable than the idea of trying to make new friends. That felt impossible.

I have a different opinion than you do about women who can just sit back and good relationships will just happen for them. But it is at least nice to hear about some of your thoughts and feelings on a bit of a deeper and more introspective level. Talking about things usually helps.
 
Rodafina said:
I can definitely understand parts of what you're saying. I have stuck around in bad friendships for too long because it just seemed better than having no friends at all. The idea of having a bad friend who is familiar was more comfortable than the idea of trying to make new friends. That felt impossible.

I have a different opinion than you do about women who can just sit back and good relationships will just happen for them. But it is at least nice to hear about some of your thoughts and feelings on a bit of a deeper and more introspective level. Talking about things usually helps.
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Which I will admit and this was discussed in another thread in this form and since I was not getting my sexual needs or wants met in that relationship I ended up paying for sex or another way to put it I ended up having sex with an escort or sex worker and I ended up seeing a couple of them because I didn't want to have to go through the drama or the burden of having to talked to lots of women and having to pursue and hit on them or lead them and going to an escort or sex worker doesn't require any game or any social skills or any courtship or any seduction
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
Which I will admit and this was discussed in another thread in this form and since I was not getting my sexual needs or wants met in that relationship I ended up paying for sex or another way to put it I ended up having sex with an escort or sex worker and I ended up seeing a couple of them because I didn't want to have to go through the drama or the burden of having to talked to lots of women and having to pursue and hit on them or lead them and going to an escort or sex worker doesn't require any game or any social skills or any courtship or any seduction
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Satisfying sexual needs in the most practical way possible is understandable for those who struggle with the extremely complicated social elements of courtship.
 
Rodafina said:
Satisfying sexual needs in the most practical way possible is understandable for those who struggle with the extremely complicated social elements of courtship.
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As well as dating and seduction, well paying for sex is often called the world's oldest profession and people in society have always had a controversial view or mindset on it as in tons of people are either for it or against it.

But it reminds me I have read some powerful comments or statements from people who say that sex workers or paying for sex or escorts provide an awesome service for Humanity.

Of course there are many who have the opposite View
 
Even though with my ex partner we referred to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend and we would kiss and make out but since she had an asexual personality in regards to going further than kissing and making out, that makes me feel like she wasn't a true
girlfriend and instead just a friend.

She says she also is on the spectrum and if I recall correctly I think it's not unusual or not on herd of for a lot of people on the spectrum to be asexual right?
 
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