Disowned

[AidenMaccullagh]

Hey all Aiden here. I know it's been a while since I have posted but I need to get this off my chest. Recently my older brother celebrated his birthday. I hadn't seen my older brother for 2 years and found out why. My older brother has officially disowned my family and has given no reason why. I feel like I'm to blame. He doesn't know how to act around me. I always had fun with him and now he has vanished. I was wondering if anyone who is autistic or knows someone who has gone through this could give me hand getting past this. I was very close to my older brother. I even was a groomsman at his wedding. No I feel like there is a void in my heart larger than a black hole. Help.

 

[Mia]

It's not uncommon Aiden, you would be surprised how some people I know and have known have done the same with their biological families. I haven't disowned my entire bio family but I stopped communicating with most of them more than five years ago. I'm in contact with one family member. Several people on the site have also done so.

If you don't know why your brother would do this, why would you blame yourself? I'm certain that you are not the reason he did so, as he would have cut contact with only you, not with the rest of the family. Maybe you should attempt to find out where he is through his friends or job and email him and find out why.

 

[Pinkie B]

Hey all Aiden here. I know it's been a while since I have posted but I need to get this off my chest. Recently my older brother celebrated his birthday. I hadn't seen my older brother for 2 years and found out why. My older brother has officially disowned my family and has given no reason why. I feel like I'm to blame. He doesn't know how to act around me. I always had fun with him and now he has vanished. I was wondering if anyone who is autistic or knows someone who has gone through this could give me hand getting past this. I was very close to my older brother. I even was a groomsman at his wedding. No I feel like there is a void in my heart larger than a black hole. Help.

My favorite cousin, Jonathan, disowned my family about ten years ago. He said it was because my aunt was an evil manipulative person who split up his parents (his dad left his mom for my aunt). I told him that I didn't understand or care what his relationship with my aunt was but I wanted to keep him in my life, but he just stopped replying to my e-mails. It hurts very much.

 

[tducey]

To bad to hear your brother do this. It's not your fault for him to go away. Hopefully there will be a resolution in your family's squabbles soon.

 

[Kevin L.]

I stopped speaking to my family.

I have high-functioning autism, which is an "invisible disability." My parents believed that I choose to be autistic, because if I'm smart enough to multiply large numbers in my head, then I'm smart enough to know how to not be autistic.

I'm autistic because I don't put an effort into fixing myself, so I choose to be autistic and make my issues "everybody else's problem."

Also, people with Asperger's often have a special, obsessive interest . . . so if I made normalcy my special interest, then I would be normal . . . so I choose to be autistic, which is why I deserve everything that happens to me . . . and so on.

So, how did your family approach his autism? Were they dismissive? Were they judgmental about his autism?