Dealing with tougher client issues

[Metalhead]

Today, a client of my employer called and was crying the whole conversation. She just needed to vent because she was being screwed over by government bureaucracy and it was affecting her offspring’s health directly. And all I could do was sit back and listen the whole time, when I wished I knew the answers to her problems. This comes with the territory with my job, I can’t help everybody. Still, stressful as hell. I kinda want to break my new dietary plans tonight, because as we all know, that will solve everything. /end sarcasm

 

[Gift2humanity]

Today, a client of my employer called and was crying the whole conversation. She just needed to vent because she was being screwed over by government bureaucracy and it was affecting her offspring’s health directly. And all I could do was sit back and listen the whole time, when I wished I knew the answers to her problems. This comes with the territory with my job, I can’t help everybody. Still, stressful as hell. I kinda want to break my new dietary plans tonight, because as we all know, that will solve everything. /end sarcasm

Government are here to serve us not screw us over, poor lady.
I am sure she appreciated you.

 

[Markness]

The fact you were there for her was a good deed in itself.

 

[Thinx]

I'm sure you helped by listening, and being understanding that she needed to vent. It sounds distressing to have to hear that, without having the power to sort it out for her, but you helped her feel heard and to get calmer.

My way of coping with doing work where people may often be distressed or in difficulties, has been to say to myself, if they were in the water waving and shouting for help, I wouldn't be helping if I jumped in beside them and started drowning alongside them. They need me to stay on the edge and throw the life belt.

Meaning, I'm not helping them by feeling bad or getting depressed about what they are going through, and I can help better if I take a step back and just be there for them. The more I can keep myself feeling OK, the more I can support them.

If you have to listen to distress often, it may be good to have a regular practice that works for you, where you let go of any difficult issues at work until you are back at work. Perhaps even do some counselling training? Which gives strategies for keeping yourself ok while listening to difficulties people are facing. Hope you are feeling better now.

 

[Metalhead]

I'm sure you helped by listening, and being understanding that she needed to vent. It sounds distressing to have to hear that, without having the power to sort it out for her, but you helped her feel heard and to get calmer.

My way of coping with doing work where people may often be distressed or in difficulties, has been to say to myself, if they were in the water waving and shouting for help, I wouldn't be helping if I jumped in beside them and started drowning alongside them. They need me to stay on the edge and throw the life belt.

Meaning, I'm not helping them by feeling bad or getting depressed about what they are going through, and I can help better if I take a step back and just be there for them. The more I can keep myself feeling OK, the more I can support them.

If you have to listen to distress often, it may be good to have a regular practice that works for you, where you let go of any difficult issues at work until you are back at work. Perhaps even do some counselling training? Which gives strategies for keeping yourself ok while listening to difficulties people are facing. Hope you are feeling better now.

I am feeling better now, actually. I was feeling a massive frustration out of my inability to directly help and the state of the bureaucracy to begin with, which sometimes happens at my job but I felt it rather acutely during this particular call. I waited until after the call was finished to start flailing around myself a little bit, since I knew keeping my cool during the call was the best thing I could have done for her.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I am feeling better now, actually. I was feeling a massive frustration out of my inability to directly help and the state of the bureaucracy to begin with, which sometimes happens at my job but I felt it rather acutely during this particular call. I waited until after the call was finished to start flailing around myself a little bit, since I knew keeping my cool during the call was the best thing I could have done for her.

You did her proud and I hope she has a good outcome.

 

[Metalhead]

You did her proud and I hope she has a good outcome.

I really hope she has a good outcome, as well, but accepting that is out of my hands is extremely difficult.

 

[Exbrewer]

It sounds like you absorbed some of her pain so that should mean she now has less.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I really hope she has a good outcome, as well, but accepting that is out of my hands is extremely difficult.

I have support workers who must feel like this as various problems can be out of the scope of what each agency can support with.

 

[Gift2humanity]

It sounds like you absorbed some of her pain so that should mean she now has less.

@KagamineLen It sounds as if you are empathic, which is great, however it can harm you if you let it drain your energy. I think it would be great for you to look up resources for empaths who can find the balance between being of benefit while maintaining comfy themselves.