dealing with people less and less

[Lealea]

Warning this is a little bit of a rant! I need to let of some steam!

As it was my partners sisters birthday today we went out for a meal at a family restaurant as I have two children (my 4 year old son is suspected as having aspergers, and my seven year old daughter) and she has an 18 month old. So this restaurant has a soft play area and ball pit and so on which my children are playing on.

I am watching my children when my son provides to climb up the foam steps to the next level, until a boy about his age at the top of the steps starts kicking my son in the face, throat and chest preventing him from going any further. He is in tears and as soon as I saw this I was in there like a bull.

I pick my son up and calmly ask the boy why he thinks that behaviour is right, as I was expecting I just got a blank look and walked out scouring the room for this kids parents with this kid following me he ran to his parents presumably going to tell them what I had said to him.

So I told her what had gone on and that she should teach her child how to behave to which she said nothing, grabbed him and walked out of the room.

I know children will be children, but there was no apologies, no is he ok? Didn't even tell her child that his behaviour was wrong. Any of this I would have accepted and not thought of anymore, so instead I am very peed off as how people think it is ok to treat one another and more and more I see incidents like this the more and more I want to be left alone and not even come into contact with these humans. If my son had done that I couldn't have apologised enough.

 

[Epicurean Pariah]

Warning this is a little bit of a rant! I need to let of some steam!

As it was my partners sisters birthday today we went out for a meal at a family restaurant as I have two children (my 4 year old son is suspected as having aspergers, and my seven year old daughter) and she has an 18 month old. So this restaurant has a soft play area and ball pit and so on which my children are playing on.

I am watching my children when my son provides to climb up the foam steps to the next level, until a boy about his age at the top of the steps starts kicking my son in the face, throat and chest preventing him from going any further. He is in tears and as soon as I saw this I was in there like a bull.

I pick my son up and calmly ask the boy why he thinks that behaviour is right, as I was expecting I just got a blank look and walked out scouring the room for this kids parents with this kid following me he ran to his parents presumably going to tell them what I had said to him.

So I told her what had gone on and that she should teach her child how to behave to which she said nothing, grabbed him and walked out of the room.

I know children will be children, but there was no apologies, no is he ok? Didn't even tell her child that his behaviour was wrong. Any of this I would have accepted and not thought of anymore, so instead I am very peed off as how people think it is ok to treat one another and more and more I see incidents like this the more and more I want to be left alone and not even come into contact with these humans. If my son had done that I couldn't have apologised enough.

Lealea, I think that generally society has this delusion that just knowing what, morality, civilized behavior, and good will towards humans are, that knowing alone equates with living it and doing, and being a hmmm gracious, person.
Now I could be way off here but I think that our club is more idealistic with less taste for bitter guile. We are more sensitive not less, and the general publics issue with us is that we don't deal with BS well, it confuses and frustrates us. We deal with their double think by becoming socially inept.
What do you think?

 

[AsheSkyler]

I would be pretty ticked too. That wasn't right.

If it was me and my mom, she would have told me to kick him back. XD

She always said I was free to stand up for myself to other kids when I was younger because she knew most other parents wouldn't make their kids mind, and that if their parents wanted me to be a doormat she would step in and fend them off because they should have raised their kids to be better behaved in the first place. Don't get me wrong, she didn't groom me to be a bully or to go around picking fights. She greatly stressed respect, kindness, decency, and trying to solve things more peacefully first, and she was pretty strict if she thought I was misbehaving. But I was clear to smack somebody if they hit me first.

 

[Lealea]

She greatly stressed respect, kindness, decency, and trying to solve things more peacefully first, and she was pretty strict if she thought I was misbehaving. But I was clear to smack somebody if they hit me first.

I totally agree with your mum, and this has what I have explained to my daughter too and it was exactly how my father stressed it to me. My boy thought is difficult he really has trouble socially and has violent outbursts nearly every day at school so much so that he's only there until after dinner and then I school him at home for the rest of the time, until they are able to get support for him.

If the situation was the case where a kid had just come along and hit him then I would have told him if he gets hit again then do it back, but I talked to my son about it last night and in a way It might have done him a bit of good now that he understands how Much it upset him and he might be more inclined to think how he hurts people when he has his outbursts.

It was just how bad the situation was ( to me anyway) that my son was kicked in the face repetitively and luckily he didn't fall down the stairs. And the other kids parents couldn't give a toss. I just don't think it is acceptable to treat someone like this at any age.

It was more of the lack of response on the other people rather than the actual situation than annoyed me, kids will be kids and its part of how they learn and grow but without the right guidance from an adult, they will just think it's acceptable.

 

[nowwhat]

When I seen a child behaving this abominably, I have the urge to slap the parent.

 

[watersprite]

An older boy pushed my - at the time - 5 year old son off of the top of the slide. Luckily, he fell flat on the sand and wasn't hurt. I saw it happen and told the kid if he does that again I'm tossing him off the slide. The mother got all bent out of shape on that, but who cares, I have every right to defend my children even from other children. p.s. I wouldn't actually - but I stated it utterly seriously so that the kid and his mother believed me.

 

[Beverly]

Misbehaving children whom the parents of said children do not immediately correct are my biggest pet peeve. I don't acre if it's one child pushing another or one screaming or having a tantrum in a shop or cafe, I cannot and will not tolerate it for a minute. I confront the parents and, if that fails, the manager of the establishment to have them removed. If the manager will not remove the problem child, I leave and do not pay (or replace items on shelves if shopping.)

I have as much right to an enjoyable experience in a public place as anyone else. Businesses are not going to learn to respect my needs unless I do something to get their attention that actually affects them. Not paying for a meal that I could not finish due to their refusal to remove a problem child or, leaving even perishable items in a shopping cart in the middle of the store cost them money. They have to at least pay someone to put the things in the carts I leave back on the shelves.

I've lived here long enough that local businesses know I will not tolerate unruly children and, they see to it that I do not have to attempt such. The rest, well they probably won't see me again so, it's worth my peace of mind to get out of the situation. Only once has any business dared call the police on me for walking out without paying, and then the officer agreed with me once I explained the situation to him.

 

[thegamerchunk1]

I think that the neurotipycall society are getting more and more discrete regarding public episodes. These are just hypotheses, but I believe it's an indirect way to diminish social incidents like what just happened. I believe people on the autism spectrum does not, or lack of, public discretion, due to our inept social skills. However I'm positive that, due to this confrontation, she probably has talked to her son about it.

Or she is a selfish B*tch