Dealing with AS at work?

[Kari Suttle]

Right now I'm working as a cashier as I go through college. As one can imagine, at times I enjoy the job but at other times its hard to deal with. The store is almost always busy so sound sensory issues are troublesome, as is communication with customers. I can script and fake it very well but one rude comment or one customer that completely ignores my existence and i'm overly emotional and reclusive for the rest of the shift. I'm constantly afraid that one emotional, withdrawn reaction in front of the wrong person will get me fired, which i don't want because i like the supervisors, i know how to do the job, and at least half the time I do it very well. Its a good challenge for me. It helps seeing another suspected aspie at work and seeing that despite the fact even I find him odd he's never been fired. I mean I never talk to him, but just being a coworker and being assigned to take over for him on the register from time to time he acts like he's on the spectrum. I don't know how else to describe his behavior other than as being familiar.

Has anyone else had a similar job situation? What coping mechanisms do you employ at work? I want to do better but i'm not sure if I even can let alone where to start. I have enough issues going on in my personal life as it is, I don't need work to be another one of them.

 

[Suzanne]

I guess you could try asking if you can go and take a break if things are getting too much for you. I am assuming that your superviser's do not know you are an aspie? If not, why not, since you say you like them?

I find it interesting that you suspect a work mate is an aspie and describe him as odd; it just shows that despite being on the spectrum, does not make us immune to odd behaviour in others. It is a bit like me, when I listen to a few youtube videos with females on the spectrum and I have to say that I think: oh do get on with it! And: wow boring voice and feel often ashamed of myself, because I go on when I am on a high, but do not have a monatone voice.

Actually, my faith helps me very much, because I have to meet tons of strangers regularly and it really does work my aspie brain to the limit and often feel that I am going to freak out and that is the time, I escape to our car.

Since I only found out that I have aspergers in my early 40's, I have not "worked ie paid work" for some years and when I did, I did not know about aspergers.

I do hope someone else answers that will truly help you.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I guess you could try asking if you can go and take a break if things are getting too much for you. I am assuming that your superviser's do not know you are an aspie? If not, why not, since you say you like them?

I've asked for a break but only twice, and that was because I was having a panic attack. Where I work its structured so that every two hours you get either a break or a lunch break, and I feel like I'm being demanding or pathetic or such if I ask for anything more than this unless I absolutely can't deal.

I don't mention it to them because I don't know if they would believe me or not. Even if by some stroke of luck my coworker is diagnosed and they know about it and therefore would already have some minimum knowledge of ASD, I don't know that they would believe me that I have it. I grew up with an emotionally and verbally abusive mother so I learned growing up how to read emotions and how to mask what then was just inappropriate, childish, and unacceptable behavior. So while my suspected coworker is obvious about it, I've grown up hiding it. I just can't get past the mental barrier that such would make me pathetic and if I just tried harder it wouldn't be a problem. Plus I don't wanna look weak in front of people with the power to fire me should I so much as look at them the wrong way.

 

[Judge]

I just can't get past the mental barrier that such would make me pathetic and if I just tried harder it wouldn't be a problem. Plus I don't wanna look weak in front of people with the power to fire me should I so much as look at them the wrong way.

That's a very compelling point of view given that we technically aren't legally in any perceived "protected" category as employees. A dynamic that continually forces us to acknowledge being on the spectrum exclusively on a "need-to-know" basis.

 

[Suzanne]

I've asked for a break but only twice, and that was because I was having a panic attack. Where I work its structured so that every two hours you get either a break or a lunch break, and I feel like I'm being demanding or pathetic or such if I ask for anything more than this unless I absolutely can't deal.

I don't mention it to them because I don't know if they would believe me or not. Even if by some stroke of luck my coworker is diagnosed and they know about it and therefore would already have some minimum knowledge of ASD, I don't know that they would believe me that I have it. I grew up with an emotionally and verbally abusive mother so I learned growing up how to read emotions and how to mask what then was just inappropriate, childish, and unacceptable behavior. So while my suspected coworker is obvious about it, I've grown up hiding it. I just can't get past the mental barrier that such would make me pathetic and if I just tried harder it wouldn't be a problem. Plus I don't wanna look weak in front of people with the power to fire me should I so much as look at them the wrong way.

You sound so much like me, it is astonishing! I too have learned how to read emotions and sadly, read all too well now, which can be rather disconcerting!

I get you very much on why you do not wish to usurp the situation.

We female aspies are able to hide better than our male counterparts. I am reading all over the internet about male aspies and really have to dig deep to find female aspies, which tells me a great deal, that we are better at appearing "normal"!

 

[wanderer03]

It's a constant challenge! I face issues when I am bombarded by too much stimuli or when I am thrust into a situation too far outside of my comfort zone.