Daily living tasks/independence

[Heyphelpsy]

Anyone here have trouble with just doing daily living tasks (brushing teeth, taking a shower, washing face, cooking, cleaning, etc.). I want to be more independent but there seems to be a block for me... Hoping someone can relate so I don't feel so alone and stupid.

 

[Penumbra]

Yes, me! It's one of my biggest struggles. I've mostly overcome the cooking hurdle, so that's helped. I can't clean though. When my kitchen is a mess I can't cook, which defeats the point of my cooking efforts.

An ex bf once requested that I shower and brush my teeth more often. That was embarrassing.

 

[Heyphelpsy]

Yes, me! It's one of my biggest struggles. I've mostly overcome the cooking hurdle, so that's helped. I can't clean though. When my kitchen is a mess I can't cook, which defeats the point of my cooking efforts.

May I ask, how did you overcome the hurdle of cooking? I'm looking into getting professional help because I want to be independent and on my own.

An ex bf once requested that I shower and brush my teeth more often. That was embarrassing.

 

[Penumbra]

Cooking took a while for me to grow into, but I was forced into it when I was nearly homeless. A friend let me stay in a small single-room building on his property for a while, but that's all I had. I had to support myself with no income for a while, which meant preparing my own meals every day with whatever basics I could get. Everything I cooked was a bland disaster for a while, but it got better over time. Other than practice, the best help I had was instructional cooking videos on youtube. It was great for me to see how people were cooking rather than just reading vague recipe vocabulary I wasn't familiar with yet. The best videos also provide all that cautionary advice I usually have to learn about the hard way.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Anyone here have trouble with just doing daily living tasks (brushing teeth, taking a shower, washing face, cooking, cleaning, etc.). I want to be more independent but there seems to be a block for me... Hoping someone can relate so I don't feel so alone and stupid.

This falls under that umbrella of "executive functioning" which is actually one of the signs and symptoms of someone with an ASD. I can only share my experience with this,...loss of focus, distractions, busy doing a lot of things, but never getting anything done, etc. What I do, and would suggest, is at the beginning of your day, YOU make a list of the handful of things you wish to accomplish that day,...with little check boxes. You can do a piece of paper, a dry-erase board, whatever,...but have it in a place where you are most likely going to see it,...the refrigerator, the computer, etc. It is just an aid to keep you "on task".

Habits, both good and bad, are often a result of repetitive behaviors over long periods of time. Whether it be hygiene, dietary, exercise, study, household chores,...whatever,...if you are attempting to change an old habit, or create a new one, it can take months. After several months of creating a new routine in your life, often, you don't have to actually think about it too much.

 

[Raggamuffin]

I'm terrible with all of the above. I do the washing up once a week, same with laundry. Shower maybe once or twice a week. It took me until I was 34 to regularly brush my teeth.

It feels so haphazard, unhealthy and immature to not be able to do basic tasks regularly - and yet I continue to beat myself up about lacking the drive to do the simplest of tasks.

Ed

 

[Heyphelpsy]

This falls under that umbrella of "executive functioning" which is actually one of the signs and symptoms of someone with an ASD. I can only share my experience with this,...loss of focus, distractions, busy doing a lot of things, but never getting anything done, etc. What I do, and would suggest, is at the beginning of your day, YOU make a list of the handful of things you wish to accomplish that day,...with little check boxes. You can do a piece of paper, a dry-erase board, whatever,...but have it in a place where you are most likely going to see it,...the refrigerator, the computer, etc. It is just an aid to keep you "on task".

Habits, both good and bad, are often a result of repetitive behaviors over long periods of time. Whether it be hygiene, dietary, exercise, study, household chores,...whatever,...if you are attempting to change an old habit, or create a new one, it can take months. After several months of creating a new routine in your life, often, you don't have to actually think about it too much.

I appreciate this reply. I have not heard of executive functioning, but am glad I can attach a new term to this. Forming new habits is hard for me, as my brain cannot figure out the steps for tasks without feeling completely overwhelmed. Maybe use your idea of a checklist, but break it down into steps of the task? Also I need clear rules or I will not succeed, example is brush teeth for 3 minutes. If thats not clearly outlined or expected, ill do 30 seconds or won't do it at all. I need like a contract with myself lol. My brain works in interesting ways when it comes to these tasks. Thank you for your very helpful reply.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I appreciate this reply. I have not heard of executive functioning, but am glad I can attach a new term to this. Forming new habits is hard for me, as my brain cannot figure out the steps for tasks without feeling completely overwhelmed. Maybe use your idea of a checklist, but break it down into steps of the task? Also I need clear rules or I will not succeed, example is brush teeth for 3 minutes. If thats not clearly outlined or expected, ill do 30 seconds or won't do it at all. I need like a contract with myself lol. My brain works in interesting ways when it comes to these tasks. Thank you for your very helpful reply.

Exactly,...you know how your brain operates. It may be helpful to just have a small list posted by/on the bathroom mirror or door,...again, someplace in your line of sight. 1. Brush teeth for 3 minutes. 2. Wash body and hair 3. Comb hair ... you get the idea. When you go into the kitchen you might have another small list for yourself,...whatever your priorities are for the day. It's about creating a daily routine for yourself and developing good habits that you can stick to.

Just a tip though, sometimes it is best to make your list(s) simple and short. If you get too detailed or too long, it can "muddle things up". My wife used to love giving me lists to do,...but she would have like 8-10 things on it,...and I would do like 2 or 3. She would get a bit frustrated with me. Eventually, I just told her, "Of the 101 things that you need to get done right now,...pick 2." At work, where it really counts,...I make my own list and check boxes. I think it works better if I am making my own list versus someone else making it for me.

 

[Progster]

Yes, struggling here, too. I can manage washing the dishes - if I don't clean them, then I have no clean plates to eat from or to cook with. I'm also ok with personal hygiene. I'm ok with things that I can incorperate into a daily routine, things that I always do at the same time each day, such as brushing teeth. I struggle with cleaning and other household chores, though. And it doesn't help that I live with someone who is similar to me in this regard, so they just don't get done and the house is a mess.

 

[Soleil]

I was having trouble getting to bed on time because there's so much to do (brush, mouthwash, wash face, get the next day's clothes ready) that it's hard to get started and I end up procrastinating for an hour or so. Thanks to some advice I got on this site, I'm going to bed on time by simply getting ready for bed earlier, and then just hanging out online for a bit before bedtime.

My main problem is with cleaning; I can clean up now and then, but in the meantime my room is a mess. Kind of embarrassing. But I have no real time scheduled for it, so I keep not doing it.

 

[Streetwise]

Anyone here have trouble with just doing daily living tasks (brushing teeth, taking a shower, washing face, cooking, cleaning, etc.). I want to be more independent but there seems to be a block for me... Hoping someone can relate so I don't feel so alone and stupid.

Yep I would say I do ,it's not just people with autistic neurology anyone with forms of depression or chronic pain leading to depression so there are a lot of people