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Counselling?

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by OrangeSquash, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. OrangeSquash

    OrangeSquash Active Member

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    Hi All

    Has anybody from the UK sought counselling to try and arrange their thoughts after a diagnosis? Did it help? I'm starting to panic a little bit about how I see the world and just how different I am, and dealing with an element of disappointment in my parents for not acting their hunch when I was young - which I don't want to do. I might just be being paranoid though, and that's okay - kinda.

    Thanks
     
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  2. onlything

    onlything Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It seems like you have a lot on your mind. Counselling or another form of talk therapy would probably be helpful for you then and there's no shame in that. If it feels like you want to do it, then just go for it. In the meantime while you wait for your first appointment you may try to organise your thoughts a bit by writing them down - don't worry about grammar or look, just write them down - or the use of some phone apps available - there seems to be more and more of these with each day. I'm using one of them myself.

    Counselling... Well, it didn't really help me much - but at the time I was quite paranoid about talking about anything and ashamed that I needed something like that at all, even if my counsellor was as soft and gentle as I needed at the time. If you choose to pursue an appointment, I suggest two things:
    1. Don't get another one with the same person if you feel that your counsellor is close-minded or their working practices are incompatible with you (although stay open-minded towards tasks given). Finding the right one may take time.
    2. If you choose a counsellor, try to trust them enough to share what's on your mind. It will come to nothing unless you open yourself. People know little about you unless you tell them things.

    Other than that, good luck.
     
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  3. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    didn’t get counselling beforehand but I think getting it because of panic disorder was probably because of autism CBT worked better I needed more structure yes it definitely helped but I didn’t know I was autistic CBT helps with the panic it starts to change how you think if you decide to go that route and ask the NHS after the six mandatory sessions try and get them to give you some more !because you’re autistic they said they might be able to get me some more I didn’t bother as I was too distressed from another health problem , your parents view of autism is probably covered by the fact that in the UK autism was probably viewed as being just weird or eccentric and it’s not exactly uncommon to be weird or eccentric in the UK ,people just thought you’re weird or eccentric ,didn’t really think they should go to the doctor with you .One of the old terms used to be village idiot ,the British can be so lovely not !It’s not paranoia, it’s change ,most humans do not like change ,the brain usually perceives it has death.
     
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  4. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    I had counseling after getting my diagnosis, it helped a lot. I'm not UK-based though.
     
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  5. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You know, as I think about it. Counseling has never really proved helpful to me, but I encourage it for others if it helps. I think, for me, it's like everything else - I learn better on my own, and I figure a lot of things out by self discovery.
     
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  6. Shamar

    Shamar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I don't know about the UK, but over her in the States I went to counselors, therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists for 40 years before somebody (not in the profession) noticed I was autistic. I have to say, based on experience, I am skeptical of their utility. You would think that with all these professionals trained for this sort of thing SOMEBODY would have noticed in this time.
     
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  7. OrangeSquash

    OrangeSquash Active Member

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    Thank you for your replies everybody. I think I will investigate further in my local area. I’d be tempted to ask the NHS, but I’d rather not have a waiting list for this - I desperately don’t want it to affect my coaching work.

    What I’d like to also figure out is how to better judge social situations, things like how to navigate through a pub session without thinking I’m the odd one out and ending up getting blind drunk, how to judge how much to text people (love interests especially) etc. I’m not sure a councillor will be able to assist me with those in addition to enabling me to map my thoughts, but it’s got to be worth a shot I’d think.
     
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  8. anacrusis

    anacrusis Member

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    UK based and am going for counselling, after experiencing fairly intense burnout: I found my counsellor on the BACP website, and looked specifically for those who had some link with autism. It's important to know what it is you want from counselling - and from what you say, this might not be right for you. Mostly counsellors aren't so much about giving advice on what to do, as finding ways to help you find your own solutions, and I see a lot of reviews where people say they've been disappointed because they were expecting teaching or guidance.
    Mine has listened to my story, which I was allowed to tell in my own way - very different from going to a doctor, say, who asks questions to try to get the bits of the story which help them to make a diagnosis and plan for management. The counsellor does reflect back at intervals on what I say, or summarises parts of the story, and that's been helpful to me because it gives me new ways to think about the problems I've had. One thing we have covered is the fact that she finds it rather difficult to gauge what my mood is and would like to see if there are ways to help me to express it, and for her to understand it also. I've had a lot of problems with work, trying to ask for help, and having them attempting to read my face instead of hearing the words I say, and deciding I don't really need it, so it would be a useful thing to know how to do.
    On the human interactions/dating side of things, I don't have enough answers, but as a teenager realised I didn't know how to do social things and set about at least learning what body language means, reading books and observing my schoolmates and others - it hasn't given me a perfect recipe for coping, but was a useful start. The only problem is that I maybe learned to mask a bit too well, which won't be helping my burnout...
     
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  9. OrangeSquash

    OrangeSquash Active Member

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    Thank you for your reply - thats really in depth!
    I think I want some help to organize my thoughts. I know this is troubling me, as its ticking around my head whilst I'm trying to sleep, (despite usually being a good sleeper, with good sleep hygiene) but they are not particularly positive or negative thoughts - just thoughts. I cant figure this out on my own.
     
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