dragontails74
Well-Known Member
Hey all,
I am 20 years old, my boyfriend is 25. We've been together 8 years now, 7 of which were long distance, so most of any part of our relationship was mostly engaged by typing on the internet with AOL instant messenger or talking on the phone, with sporadic plane visits. (Yes, I realize I was 11 years old at the start of our relationship... He however didn't know because it was more of a computer thing, we didn't really discuss our ages until much later.)
He only has one REALLY close friend, and that's me. His mom always thought he was socially deficient.
We moved in together, but the intimacy factor isn't quite going as I imagined. He is inexperienced sexually, and I'm his only relationship. He spent most of the 7 years programming on the computer, and obsessing about dragons. He has a HUGE statuary collection and gigs and gigs of images of just dragons, so he has 2 pretty obsessive interests, one statue costs quite a bit of money, I'd say $9000.00. He is a loner, always has been. He was involved in soccer when he was younger, but once that was done, he just spent years on his computer, and he had somewhat of a porn addiction. 9 months ago, he acquired a job in the video game industry as a game engineer, so he spends most of his time programming. He used to make music as well with Fruity loops. (Another side obsession.) I'm an attractive brunette, 115 pounds, tan, fit and active. He is a tad bit overweight, 205 pounds, inactive but I love him all the same and am still very sexually attracted to him. In this entire 9 months that we've been together, he hasn't pursued me sexually. Sure, we will go in the bathtub together and engage in some fun, but he's never aggressive or... forward about things... so sex rarely if ever happens.
However, he is loving, kind, honest to a fault, and makes me laugh. Although he's not the most affectionate, he likes to poke me and tickle my sides and be silly.
He doesn't like to snuggle, or be close to me. We hug when he leaves for work, that's it.
He talks a lot to only certain people, but to others very little.
He lacks empathy. When I was younger, I called him, told him my dog died... he didn't offer any type of comfort or sweet words... Just kept on as if it didn't happen, while I cried my eyes out. Also, one time I was at his parents house with him and he accidentally moved his chair in such a way that it slammed into his mother's foot. She yelled in pain, and he just said, "Sorrrry..." in a mildly sarcastic manner. (If I ever did that to anybody, I'd be apologizing profusely and making sure they were okay.)
He mumbles on occasion, while speaking to people, as if he gets lazy with his speech but still talks. He makes music with his hands, and on occasions moves his hands weirdly, kind of flailing them. I can't tell if this is just him being silly or if he actually has a need to do this. When he is on his computer and I talk with him (in person, haha obviously because we live together now), I am not talking "with him" I'm talking "at him" and in these instances he rarely makes eye contact with me. However, when interacting with people he CAN make eye contact and does, and he is good at reading body language. He has very dry, sarcastic humor. He is very intelligent.
Is my boyfriend an aspie?! Help.
Let me know if you have any questions. Obviously, I'm not expecting a diagnosis, but knowing he may have it would at least enable me to better deal with his eccentricities. I know in many of these "Does my boyfriend have Aspergers thread" people always say, "What would knowing he has it do for you?" A hell of a lot, because I can at least deal with his quirks properly.
I am 20 years old, my boyfriend is 25. We've been together 8 years now, 7 of which were long distance, so most of any part of our relationship was mostly engaged by typing on the internet with AOL instant messenger or talking on the phone, with sporadic plane visits. (Yes, I realize I was 11 years old at the start of our relationship... He however didn't know because it was more of a computer thing, we didn't really discuss our ages until much later.)
He only has one REALLY close friend, and that's me. His mom always thought he was socially deficient.
We moved in together, but the intimacy factor isn't quite going as I imagined. He is inexperienced sexually, and I'm his only relationship. He spent most of the 7 years programming on the computer, and obsessing about dragons. He has a HUGE statuary collection and gigs and gigs of images of just dragons, so he has 2 pretty obsessive interests, one statue costs quite a bit of money, I'd say $9000.00. He is a loner, always has been. He was involved in soccer when he was younger, but once that was done, he just spent years on his computer, and he had somewhat of a porn addiction. 9 months ago, he acquired a job in the video game industry as a game engineer, so he spends most of his time programming. He used to make music as well with Fruity loops. (Another side obsession.) I'm an attractive brunette, 115 pounds, tan, fit and active. He is a tad bit overweight, 205 pounds, inactive but I love him all the same and am still very sexually attracted to him. In this entire 9 months that we've been together, he hasn't pursued me sexually. Sure, we will go in the bathtub together and engage in some fun, but he's never aggressive or... forward about things... so sex rarely if ever happens.
However, he is loving, kind, honest to a fault, and makes me laugh. Although he's not the most affectionate, he likes to poke me and tickle my sides and be silly.
He doesn't like to snuggle, or be close to me. We hug when he leaves for work, that's it.
He talks a lot to only certain people, but to others very little.
He lacks empathy. When I was younger, I called him, told him my dog died... he didn't offer any type of comfort or sweet words... Just kept on as if it didn't happen, while I cried my eyes out. Also, one time I was at his parents house with him and he accidentally moved his chair in such a way that it slammed into his mother's foot. She yelled in pain, and he just said, "Sorrrry..." in a mildly sarcastic manner. (If I ever did that to anybody, I'd be apologizing profusely and making sure they were okay.)
He mumbles on occasion, while speaking to people, as if he gets lazy with his speech but still talks. He makes music with his hands, and on occasions moves his hands weirdly, kind of flailing them. I can't tell if this is just him being silly or if he actually has a need to do this. When he is on his computer and I talk with him (in person, haha obviously because we live together now), I am not talking "with him" I'm talking "at him" and in these instances he rarely makes eye contact with me. However, when interacting with people he CAN make eye contact and does, and he is good at reading body language. He has very dry, sarcastic humor. He is very intelligent.
Is my boyfriend an aspie?! Help.
Let me know if you have any questions. Obviously, I'm not expecting a diagnosis, but knowing he may have it would at least enable me to better deal with his eccentricities. I know in many of these "Does my boyfriend have Aspergers thread" people always say, "What would knowing he has it do for you?" A hell of a lot, because I can at least deal with his quirks properly.
