Controlling Manifestations of ASD through Negative Reinforcement

[Sportster]

. . .

 

[Judge]

It pains me to think my parents knew somehow I was "different", yet couldn't figure it out. And yet when they took me to medical "professionals", it all went right past them as well.

-Circa 1961. When as you posted, they knew little or nothing. That it wouldn't be for another 20+ years before the APA even formally acknowledged Aspergers Syndrome.

Frustrating to recall my mother always telling me not to pace. (My stim) Yeah, another example of what ultimately was not negative reinforcement. I just should have been born later. Much later. <sigh>

 

[OkRad]

When I have been in hospital a lot they used all sorts of operant conditioning. I do not like it unless I agree and rarely do you agree in hospital so I don't like it.

I dated a man once and we decided that no matter what, we would use Unconditional Positive Regard. It was a very intense and loving relationship. So the stuff works. I would never want to manipulate someone negatively, but to give them UPR, yes.

Operant conditioning - Wikipedia

 

[dragoncat16]

Frustrating to recall my mother always telling me not to pace. (My stim)

Pacing is a stim? OMG I do that all the time when I'm on the phone. I walk around the house and even up and down the stairs and I bet the other person wonders why I'm out of breath when I'm talking to them. I just got my diagnosis a couple of weeks ago and I am learning that all my "weird" behaviour that my mom criticises me for on a regular basis is all ASD-related. I usually don't pace when I'm not on the phone though.

From what I have read, meltdowns can't be controlled like that. The unpleasant stimulus needs to be removed when a meltdown might be on its way, and slapping would certainly not fall into the category of removing the unpleasant stimulus. As for stimming, if it's not hurting anyone else, and it makes you feel better, why try to stop it? It's all about NTs wanting their environment to be comfortable for them, and for them to be surrounded by people who behave in a way they consider "normal".

 

[Judge]

Pacing is a stim? OMG I do that all the time when I'm on the phone. I walk around the house and even up and down the stairs and I bet the other person wonders why I'm out of breath when I'm talking to them. I just got my diagnosis a couple of weeks ago and I am learning about all my "weird" behaviour that my mom criticises me for on a regular basis is all ASD-related.

Yep, it's a big one too. One that I also didn't initially even consider.

That's my nickname. My father's best friend named me "Judge" for pacing a lot with a serious look on my face and my hands in my pockets.

 

[Judge]

My main stim was (still is, actually) grinding my teeth.

I do that too. Didn't even think of it as a stim! Though sometimes it sure can make my teeth/mouth sore.

I once went to the dentist thinking I had a serious tooth problem. Nope...it was bruxism.

 

[FreeDiver]

Luckily for me, I never really had a problem with stimming at home. I think it's because my mother did it as well. But at school, that's a whole nother story.

 

[The Midge]

Negative reinforcement!?! Society does plenty of that.

Negative reinforcement isolates you, gets you sacked from you job, starred at, and mistreated in so many ways. That is people saying 'we don't approve of the way you act'.

 

[SusanLR]

The guy I live with can't talk on the phone without pacing. Never knew why. I don't. I just don't like using the phone in the first place.
He isn't ASD, maybe borderline personality or sociopath.

I caught myself doing a new stim today without thinking about it. Someone gave me one of those fuzzy keychain/zipper pulls and I put it on my purse as a decoration. I call it a Chuzzle.
While sitting in a waiting room I found I was smoothing it with my hand almost continously. Thinking about it, I had been doing it lot since I received it.
I have a squeezy ball in my cup holder of my car and a stone in the tray. But this Chuzzle, I've found is really nice.

Haven't heard of Negative Reinforcement. I think my recurring nightly dreams do that. Along with the guy I mentioned.
Not saying anything negative about it, just haven't heard about it.

 

[Chance]

It pains me to think my parents knew somehow I was "different", yet couldn't figure it out. And yet when they took me to medical "professionals", it all went right past them as well.

-Circa 1961. When as you posted, they knew little or nothing. That it wouldn't be for another 20+ years before the APA even formally acknowledged Aspergers Syndrome.

Frustrating to recall my mother always telling me not to pace. (My stim) Yeah, another example of what ultimately was not negative reinforcement. I just should have been born later. Much later. <sigh>

Pacing... Not many people ever mention this (that I have noticed)... I can walk a mile inside the house or the office... If I am on the phone its even worse, maybe because I don't like talking on the phone? I never saw it as a stim, but I think your very right... wow

 

[Chance]

My main stim was (still is, actually) grinding my teeth. My mother's attempt to stop it was to slap me across the face. I recall having a bloody lip more than once because she couldn't deal with my stim. All that accomplished was to screw my head up even more, as the stim is still with me after 57 years.

I grind mine in my sleep. They will make a snapping sound and it will wake me up... Its horrible. They made me a mouth guard but it made my gums bleed and it was just a drooling mess. I was told if I didn't find a way to stop this, it can cause TMJ? Like I do it on purpose.

I'm sorry people hit you for stuff like that. I know what its like to feel so lost and someone to be so angry with you...

 

[Chance]

Not real proud to admit that I was a hand flapper, that I pulled my ears, that I wouldn't look at people,
that I didn't speak, that I would sit for hours and just spin the wheels on one of my toy trucks and never move... Thats a messed up kid by todays standards, it was a messed up kid back then also.

But to literally beat a kid for not being able to change and not do those things never was the right answer.
I cant get past them not knowing it wasn't right. Somewhere in there is where this "negative reinforcement" just converts sheer hatred, and in my case abandonment - which was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I might not be here otherwise.

Peoples tempers and their tongues are often worse than swords and whips. From my experience... to let a kid know you hate him, tell him you hate him, and show him you hate hate him... Its makes it really hard. for that person to not hate them self. But as a 3-10 year old kid I just saw monsters not people, the hate part never soaked in very well.

I guess if negative reinforcement is supposed to fix us, then I'm a lost cause... Oh wait, that was the conclusion of those who gave up on me and threw me away. Maybe it worked for them, maybe in some weird way it worked for me and I just don't see it from my viewpoint.

I just cant help but think what it would have been like to be with a family who wasn't violent. How different I might be to not be so messed up from all that deeply negative stuff that I cant erase out of my head.

So I just try to live the way I wish it would have been, and try not to dwell too much on all that stuff that I mostly grew out of anyway.

 

[Chance]

I was also a "rocker," but have been working hard to control it. I noticed it was a bit distracting when people at church were staring at me like I was having a fit or something. I catch myself doing it at home on occasion, but not as much as before. Shoot, even Bill Gates rocks:

Yep... one of those weird ones who just happens to be a self made billionaire... Just like countless other great individuals who did unthinkable things but never quite fit the ass hat status quo...

I would be honored to be around Bill Gates weirdness and to learn from the depths of his mind.

 

[Butterfly88]

I had this weird type of "therapy" that was claimed to be ABA but I've had CBT therapists tell me it wasn't. For example, I don't like wearing socks because I don't like how they feel. So when I was in the 4th grade my teacher said "okay class, we're not going to recess until Butterfly puts her socks on". It was ridiculous. My CBT therapist said she could see that leading to me feeling bad about myself. Even someone I know who supports ABA thought that was just stupid. And it wasn't just that, there were a lot of similar things they would do often.

 

[Adora]

I didn’t know pacing up and down was considered a stim,I do that a lot and as a kid I use to pace up and down the hallway while thinking about my drawings,I also pace while talking on the phone but when i was a teenager I didn’t know I was on the spectrum my dad thought it was funny that I paced while thinking and he use to call it “Stomping” and one time when he was drunk he decided to imitate my pacing by walking around the lounge room and making stomping noises.

 

[the_tortoise]

I was not punished for manifestations of my autism..... wasn't even discouraged from things like stimming or atypical play, let alone punished.

I wish I could take away all the pain and shame from everyone who was punished for those kinds of things.

 

[SusanLR]

I was never punished for any of my stange ways either.
And I could not live without rocking and a rocking chair to sit in. Only the past four years have I been able to live in a house without a rocking chair.