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Connecting Dots....

mylife2023

Active Member
I've posted a little on this forum and asked for help with a blooming Aspie relationship. I had begun noticing things that didn't make a lot of sense or seemed odd in our conversation or his actions regarding various things like texting and what I had learned of him as a child. In my attempts to learn to communicate more effectively with him and to try and see his perspective on certain things, I decided to take that. ASQ and I scored a 35.

As I've read through many posts and topics on this board, I have found myself relating to the issues, problems and quirks that many of you have talked about. All four of my daughters, I believe, would score quite high and I am going to talk to all of them. We homeschooled our kids so without realizing it, that environment allowed me to adjust to their learning needs etc and we never had the social issues like bullying etc, that come with being in school. I recently even received a text from one of my daughters, recently, thanking me for homeschooling her and doing things the way we did, because she felt like it was a huge help in regards to many things about her "personality. " (She did school work on the trampoline, in the treehouse, on top of the chicken coop, standing on her head and in the woods. )

I also have a grandson who is 7 and he has always had a lot of these issues that fit a high functioning Aspie and they're way more obvious than my daughters.

What is so ironic, is that I suspected, 15 years ago that my 3rd daughter might have had Aspergers. Fromabout the age of 3 she was prone to meltdowns, overstimulation, and horrible tantrums for no "apparent" reason. Three of my daughters are music prodigies and all are extremely intelligent and three are very introverted. These are just a few of the connections, there are a ton more, but you get the gist.

This board has and continues to be an amazing source of enlightenment for me about others and about myself. Thank you to all who correspond with me, (quite patiently I might add) in the private messages and on the public forum.

I am learning to appreciate things in my children that I have spent years trying to correct out of them. I feel like a failure as a mother. I spent so much time trying to research everything they ate, and how to "discipline" them and missed the bigger picture. I see my oldest daughter doing some of the same things with my grandson. We are obsessed about the wrong things. I am starting to realize just how amazing those on the spectrum, are.
 
Thank you for appreciating neurodiversity. Those traits that create problems for us socially have also let us contribute successfully in demanding careers. Once I was able to gain some success socially, things fell in place.
 
Sounds like you really are on your own journey of self discovery now. I’m glad you found this place and you have been open to the information here. We all had a unique path to get here, but here we are, learning together.

As someone here recently pointed out to me, once the dots are connected, sometimes things fall into place rather quickly and everything seems to make more sense.
 
welcome to af.png
 
I am learning to appreciate things in my children that I have spent years trying to correct out of them. I feel like a failure as a mother. I spent so much time trying to research everything they ate, and how to "discipline" them and missed the bigger picture. I see my oldest daughter doing some of the same things with my grandson. We are obsessed about the wrong things. I am starting to realize just how amazing those on the spectrum, are.

It's great you appreciate them, now :) I think some of our parents will always take these differences personally, and attack them. Now you have a chance to grow closer to your children, grandchildren, and yourself.
 

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