Concerns/anxiety over telephone calls

[Stardust Parade]

I’m forced to use the phone on a routine basis because of work so I’ve kinda gotten over it.

 

[Au Naturel]

I hate making phone calls where I might experience pushback. I don't know why. Most of the time my fears are completely unfounded and I get friendly service to the limit the person is able. Even if they give me a hard time, I wouldn't have called if I weren't pretty confident I was in the right. The anticipation of conflict is still there and is more stressful than the conflict itself would be.

This is almost funny, given that I worked in telephone support for about 20 years.

 

[Nick12]

i like geting telphones call on my cell phone most of the calls are from my best best mom ever in the world

 

[Richelle-H]

I have problems with making phone calls as well. I procrastinate based on the level of importance to a stress-free life. The easy calls, those that do not require a lot of interaction are the easiest.

You would think that at my age I would have found a way to ease the anxiety that arises from what should be a simple interaction. The major problem with that is you rarely get someone on the phone immediately. That requires sitting on hold listening to some horrible, repetitive, music until you finally get a live person on the phone. Those automated "what are you calling about" entry screening, where you push a different number for various things, rarely have a number that matches the reason for your call.

That means you make a guess and hope you get someone who can help, and that is where my problems arise. I tend to get quite snippy with call center personnel who are working to a set script and if you throw something at them that they have no experience with you go into another wait queue. Part of it is the faceless void you are talking to even if you manage to connect with a living semi-intelligent agent.

I guess my procrastination now is a result of many years of unsatisfactory results when seeking a change or information.

What it amounts to, for me, is the level of need and how familiar I am with who or what I am calling. Familiarity engenders a lowering of my anxiety and stress levels. It is new, cold calls seeking to instigate or change something which makes it difficult for me to get to it and dial a number.

I am not sure there is any cure for this. I have mellowed a bit, but I can take days to make a phone call that needs to be made. That time is used to work through my anxiety and to remind myself that I am being a trifle silly. It is, after all, just a phone call. I get through it by imagining that everyone in the call center is stark naked and unaware of their condition.

I think there may be many NTs who also have this problem. It might be more prevalent among those of us on the spectrum. However, certain types of phone calls are problematic for everyone and can instill a certain existential dread. It is a human reaction which has very little to do with neurology.

The only advice I can offer is to focus on the end goal and what you are trying to achieve, rather than the anxiety and unease that arises from having to dial someone and communicate your wants and needs. Unless you can get someone to make the call for you!

After writing all of this, I am aware that there is little in it of use. We all have to find our own workarounds for interfacing with life. At my age, I do not worry as much, but the problem with phone calls persists, albeit at a reduced level of upset. I much prefer talking to someone face-to-face, so I create an image in my head based on the voice on the phone, this helps a lot, but getting to the person is still a horrible, soul crushing exercise in boredom. Phone calls are the worst but have value when you cannot talk to someone in person.

Apologies if I have perseverated to some extent. It is something I do, and I am not going to reread this to check.