Couchpotato
New Member
I’ve been struggling at my school because of so many autistic jokes and comments about me it’s really getting annoying and I need some comebacks or things to make them shut up
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Comebacks for ASD
- Thread starter Couchpotato
- Start date
The right approach depends a lot on you. General advice: don't negotiate with people over this. Don't discuss any aspect of it.
Once you respond, some airhead will say something like "Why do you care?" (yes - airhead adults do this too /sigh).
Just look at them calmly for a couple of seconds. If they ask again, repeat the first part of the phrase below.
The simplest way to start this process is to look people in the eye, and politely and calmly say something like:
"I don't like being criticized for what (and/or who) I am. Please don't do that again."
This might not (probably won't) work the first time, but try to ensure each relevant individual has heard it at least once.
If it keeps going, just go with "Please don't do that." (always looking them(calmly) in the eye).
Don't repeat the opening phrase. Don't reply (at all) if they ask "Don't do what?", definitely not "You know what I mean". If you get an airhead response, just hold the look for 1 or 2 seconds longer and then walk away.
BTW we're not talking "abrasive eye contact" here - that's not polite at all. A normal fairly casual look, but be looking when you actually say the words, and do not drop your eyes as you turn away.
The moves are the same as if you're interacting with e.g. someone in a shop who is politely checking out a purchase you just made. Or when interacting with someone's pet dog /lol.
Polite, but not personal.
If there's a bully in the group (not unlikely), don't confront them. The moves for bullies are a bit different - they always have weaknesses of course, but they're not mentally healthy. And if you find a real weakness in them their nature is to "externalize" their reaction.
Very Important:
All the shouting, explaining, empty threats, raised voices, emoting, etc that you see in movies, on TV, and in "Karen videos" on YouTube is a sure sign of weakness.
TV/Film use it to evoke reactions, but it's not sympathy they're looking for: they want the audience engaged indirectly, as a spectator enjoying the show (which is an adult acting like a child before they learn to regulate their emotions).
IRL it tells the "wolves" you won't react effectively. All the noise and drama signals indecision and avoidance.
Calm, concise, clear, polite.
Never justify your nature to airheads.
Last point:
The absence of any discussion in this post on "kinetic responses" is because it's always a bad idea.
.
If you need a "nuke", you start to reply in kind. But even this will have negative consequences (minor, but still real - why do it if you're not forced to?)
Also "reply in kind" is socially tricky. It's probably not within your current social skillset.
It's possible of course, but you should be trying to avoid it.
Once you respond, some airhead will say something like "Why do you care?" (yes - airhead adults do this too /sigh).
Just look at them calmly for a couple of seconds. If they ask again, repeat the first part of the phrase below.
The simplest way to start this process is to look people in the eye, and politely and calmly say something like:
"I don't like being criticized for what (and/or who) I am. Please don't do that again."
This might not (probably won't) work the first time, but try to ensure each relevant individual has heard it at least once.
If it keeps going, just go with "Please don't do that." (always looking them(calmly) in the eye).
Don't repeat the opening phrase. Don't reply (at all) if they ask "Don't do what?", definitely not "You know what I mean". If you get an airhead response, just hold the look for 1 or 2 seconds longer and then walk away.
BTW we're not talking "abrasive eye contact" here - that's not polite at all. A normal fairly casual look, but be looking when you actually say the words, and do not drop your eyes as you turn away.
The moves are the same as if you're interacting with e.g. someone in a shop who is politely checking out a purchase you just made. Or when interacting with someone's pet dog /lol.
Polite, but not personal.
If there's a bully in the group (not unlikely), don't confront them. The moves for bullies are a bit different - they always have weaknesses of course, but they're not mentally healthy. And if you find a real weakness in them their nature is to "externalize" their reaction.
Very Important:
All the shouting, explaining, empty threats, raised voices, emoting, etc that you see in movies, on TV, and in "Karen videos" on YouTube is a sure sign of weakness.
TV/Film use it to evoke reactions, but it's not sympathy they're looking for: they want the audience engaged indirectly, as a spectator enjoying the show (which is an adult acting like a child before they learn to regulate their emotions).
IRL it tells the "wolves" you won't react effectively. All the noise and drama signals indecision and avoidance.
Calm, concise, clear, polite.
Never justify your nature to airheads.
Last point:
The absence of any discussion in this post on "kinetic responses" is because it's always a bad idea.
.
If you need a "nuke", you start to reply in kind. But even this will have negative consequences (minor, but still real - why do it if you're not forced to?)
Also "reply in kind" is socially tricky. It's probably not within your current social skillset.
It's possible of course, but you should be trying to avoid it.
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I am thinking that in order for it to be "a good comeback" is that you have to understand the underlying motivation for the teasing, the jokes, and the bullying. Insecurity or wanting attention. It's only if you can tap into that would there be a good comeback that could leave a stinging pain in their soul. OR you can accept the insult and flip it back on them to make them look the idiot and the real butt of the joke.
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@TBRS1 @Neonatal RRT
I prefer not to use comebacks in "difficult" situations at all.
They're a (mild) form of aggression, in a context where aggression is not efficient.
There's a real risk that if there's anyone who's innately aggressive in the game, they'll react according to their nature.
I usually act as I described above. It has never failed me.
OTOH socially I use "comebacks" for laughs sometimes (not exactly in the US style though it's similar in intent).
The same skills can be used to control the situation in the case of e.g. mild bullying.
(BTW - I hardly ever need to do any of this stuff IRL, and I vary my techniques when I do.
But I've had a fair bit of practice at this - my situation now (like yours probably) is nothing like the OP's).
I prefer not to use comebacks in "difficult" situations at all.
They're a (mild) form of aggression, in a context where aggression is not efficient.
There's a real risk that if there's anyone who's innately aggressive in the game, they'll react according to their nature.
I usually act as I described above. It has never failed me.
OTOH socially I use "comebacks" for laughs sometimes (not exactly in the US style though it's similar in intent).
The same skills can be used to control the situation in the case of e.g. mild bullying.
(BTW - I hardly ever need to do any of this stuff IRL, and I vary my techniques when I do.
But I've had a fair bit of practice at this - my situation now (like yours probably) is nothing like the OP's).
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I agree that in some situations, this strategy can work, and is addressed in the first video that I posted. However, in order to do this effectively, you have to have the confidence to simply take the insult, often with a smile, and walk away unaffected.
However, more to your point, and I would agree, bullies who are insecure and wanting attention to make them feel better about themselves can be dangerous, IF they are also physically capable. On the other hand, if they are not, then you can let them have it with your wit or with a knuckle sandwich. You decide.
LOL - I don't advocate violence. I'm 66 years old, and have NEVER struck anybody in anger.
However, I hate bullies so very much that I learned kickboxing.
If a person gives me lip, I don't get mad. I amuse myself by quietly imagining how easily I could destroy them. Bullies are often big, but very seldom does one actually know how to fight somebody who knows how to fight back.
Very little gives one more quiet confidence than knowing how easy it is to squish the annoying bug.
However, I hate bullies so very much that I learned kickboxing.
If a person gives me lip, I don't get mad. I amuse myself by quietly imagining how easily I could destroy them. Bullies are often big, but very seldom does one actually know how to fight somebody who knows how to fight back.
Very little gives one more quiet confidence than knowing how easy it is to squish the annoying bug.
Decades ago when I was in school, no one knew anything about autism or even that there was such a thing. So, I was "diagnosed" as retarded.
I was often called weird by the other students. Eventually, I learned my favorite response to being called weird: I would simply smile and say, "thank you", indicating that I considered that to be a compliment. That always seemed to extinguish the bullying. And at that point, I did consider it a compliment because I didn't want to be like them, so if being weird is different, then yep, that is a compliment.
I was often called weird by the other students. Eventually, I learned my favorite response to being called weird: I would simply smile and say, "thank you", indicating that I considered that to be a compliment. That always seemed to extinguish the bullying. And at that point, I did consider it a compliment because I didn't want to be like them, so if being weird is different, then yep, that is a compliment.
FilterFreq
Metal is Forever
Comebacks and vengeance-seeking are just ways of feeding the trolls. The best "revenge" on a troll is to simply ignore them, or worse -- laugh with them at your own expense. They'll literally short-circuit if they realize they're powerless over you, or that you might find their jokes mildly amusing in spite of your own ego.
None of this is easy, but there are some clever ways to hack this one if you're crafty enough.
None of this is easy, but there are some clever ways to hack this one if you're crafty enough.
At some point, mass numbers of people will discover that most forms of communications provide tools, like "ignore" lists, that let them completely cut people out of their lives.
When this happens, the trolls will suddenly disappear.
My mother was told at first I was intellectually challenged, and a year later a genius boy was she confused. The real genius was my older brother and my younger brother who joined Mensa years later, both were brighter than me I had no idea I was on the spectrum until many years later. I blamed all the issues on bad luck, following me around.
