Codependency

[zurb]

OK, I hear a lot about it, and how BAD it is....
But what actually is codependency?
And how is it different from interdependency (which by contrast is meant to be good, right?)
In the animal world it would be a 'symbiotic relationship' right?
Why is it so bad? Or is the 'badness' just a clash with the Western world's obsession with individualism?

 

[Judge]

IMO codependency is identified more often than not in conjunction with relationship addiction involving substance and/or sexual abuse. A perpetuation of destructive, one-sided relationships.

I wouldn't consider two Aspies (or NTs) in an exclusive relationship in itself to constitute codependency. Not unless such a relationship contains some of the dynamics I listed above.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Interesting. I wouldn't have thought there was a difference between "codependent" and "interdependent".

 

[Judge]

Interesting. I wouldn't have thought there was a difference between "codependent" and "interdependent".

I suppose that depends on what really constitutes being "interdependent".

If two people mutually rely on each other with some discernible degree of equity, I suppose there would be nothing codependent about it. Something other than a one-sided social dynamic.

 

[zurb]

So there is really no 'co' in codependent?

 

[Judge]

So there is really no 'co' in codependent?

Nope. Only the illusion- or delusion.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I suppose that depends on what really constitutes being "interdependent".

If two people mutually rely on each other with some discernible degree of equity, I suppose there would be nothing codependent about it. Something other than a one-sided social dynamic.

Like the symbiotic relationship of most couples.

 

[Judge]

Like the symbiotic relationship of most couples.

Well, at least half if you factor in divorce rates.

However I'd think a truly symbiotic or interdependent relationship doesn't reflect dysfunctional, one-sided codependency either. That a symbiotic relationship mutually grows while a codependent relationship just goes into a decaying orbit at various rates of decline with control and manipulation on the part of only one person.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Well, at least half if you factor in divorce rates.

However I'd think a truly symbiotic or interdependent relationship doesn't reflect dysfunctional, one-sided codependency either. That a symbiotic relationship mutually grows while a codependent relationship just goes into a decaying orbit at various rates of decline with control and manipulation on the part of only one person.

Heheh, excluding divorces and break-ups, yes.

Aye, the pair should be complimentary, else it's just one person using another all the time.