Co-workers don't understand

[Ebonbon]

I really hate my job sometimes. I work at a small drugstore. This is my first job and I constantly am feeling like I've messed up. I didn't tell anyone who I work with about my aspergers or my seizures because I didn't want people to look at me differently. Lately it's become too much. I've worked there for about five months and can't wait to leave. I work with mostly females who love to sit and gossip. I don't understand why this happens at all. I was written off by a couple of the girls because I am shy and don't talk about people behind their back. I have now become an enemy of half the workers. I received a promotion a week ago to a beauty advisor. The manager and assistant manager think I do well and can sell stuff. I usually have my mom buy some stuff or place items in parts of the store where people will look. I really don't talk to people. I am the newest employee and have been "promoted". I recently told my work about my issues after I began working more hours. I have gone into the bathroom to cry multiple times since I've told them. I have been mocked for my lack of eye contact and noise sensitivity. I don't know who to talk to about these mean girls. Some have worked there for years and are really close with the managers. I have gotten into trouble because of their lies. I will ask someone to watch the front so I can use the restroom. After I get out, I am told that I need to let people know where I'm going because I didn't tell anyone. This past week has been hell. I'm sorry if this is scattered. I'm just so hurt. I can't help my shutdowns or noise sensitivity or anything. I customers don't complain I don't see a problem. I got into trouble today for going to get my medication in my locker. I called my boyfriend who was taking me out to lunch help open my locker so I can take my seizure meds. This gets me in trouble. Should I quit or deal with it?

 

[The Penguin]

I don't find it fare they written you off for being shy. You never need to apologize for venting. Many people do it including me. As you browse through this site, you see how many posts I have written here. I'm not sure what to suggest in your case. I know everyone has a limit of their threshold. For me, mine is extremely high as I live on my own and if I don't make an income, I live on the streets. If you do have family to offer you financial support, you can have flexibility if you want to keep this job or not. But if you don't have that luxury, then it's a bit more complex. I wish the best for you

 

[Rocco]

I empathize with your situation. Life will be like this in various ways, in nearly any job. I don't know if what I'm about to say is good advice but it could be. Sometimes we have to learn to just cope with and deal with some things. Life is not fair. Don't expect every one to play by the rules.
Life will not always make accommodations, or have sympathy. You must learn to improvise, adapt, and overcome.
Sometimes things work out, but most often life happens. Every job I ever had, I encountered people like this. Retail, military, construction, creative, office. Haters and such. If you were promoted over others, they will be jealous, naturally.

Some suggestions:

Let two people (if possible) know you are going to bathroom. Voice memo the conversation if necessary.

Get powdered graphite, baby powder, WD-40 or something to lubricate the locker to facilitate easier opening.

Look for new job in spare time if absolutely necessary, but learning now, how to cope with people like this is an essential first job lesson. Every job/ experience in life should be viewed as a learning experience.

Don't complain about coworkers unless you have factual evidence and are prepared for blowback, passive aggressive retaliation, or on your way out to a new job, but always remember references are important.


Best wishes.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Rocco gives good advice. Don't quit, because jobs are hard to find, and an income is necessary. I quit a past job because of horrible bullying from a coworker. I ended up regretting quitting that job. But go ahead and search for another job in your spare time, as far as you are able.
As Rocco implied is also possible that a new job would also present such difficulties.
If your manager and assistant manager think you are a good employee that is really wonderful! If you are an enemy to half to employees, it is good that the other half does not consider you an enemy,
Don't let a few nasty persons make you forget the good things that are present in your job.

 

[Randomperson]

I really hate my job sometimes. I work at a small drugstore. This is my first job and I constantly am feeling like I've messed up. I didn't tell anyone who I work with about my aspergers or my seizures because I didn't want people to look at me differently. Lately it's become too much. I've worked there for about five months and can't wait to leave. I work with mostly females who love to sit and gossip. I don't understand why this happens at all. I was written off by a couple of the girls because I am shy and don't talk about people behind their back. I have now become an enemy of half the workers. I received a promotion a week ago to a beauty advisor. The manager and assistant manager think I do well and can sell stuff. I usually have my mom buy some stuff or place items in parts of the store where people will look. I really don't talk to people. I am the newest employee and have been "promoted". I recently told my work about my issues after I began working more hours. I have gone into the bathroom to cry multiple times since I've told them. I have been mocked for my lack of eye contact and noise sensitivity. I don't know who to talk to about these mean girls. Some have worked there for years and are really close with the managers. I have gotten into trouble because of their lies. I will ask someone to watch the front so I can use the restroom. After I get out, I am told that I need to let people know where I'm going because I didn't tell anyone. This past week has been hell. I'm sorry if this is scattered. I'm just so hurt. I can't help my shutdowns or noise sensitivity or anything. I customers don't complain I don't see a problem. I got into trouble today for going to get my medication in my locker. I called my boyfriend who was taking me out to lunch help open my locker so I can take my seizure meds. This gets me in trouble. Should I quit or deal with it?

Kind of like that "Mean Girls" movie, society is a stupid stupid entity most of the time, I am not exactly anti social, but I am most certainly anti "mean girls" society.

 

[Judge]

Unfortunately the issue of chemistry and competitiveness among other co-workers is always going to vary from one job to another. It can fluctuate from working in a copacetic and friendly environment to being in a "shark tank". Over a long period of time and relative turnover, I've experienced both with the same employer.

The notion that "the grass is greener on the other side of the pasture" is a crapshoot. No telling whether leaving a job to escape co-workers will result in any improvement with those you must work with.

Best to keep your focus on the job relative to your employer. That you work for them, and not your fellow coworkers. In my experience in the corporate world, I found in most cases that mean, malicious people like this usually ended up being terminated for one reason or another. That karma always caught up with them.

 

[Dawn Marcotte]

I am sorry to hear that you are having such trouble. Unfortunately this type of environment can happen in any job. I would suggest letting your employer know about your possible seizures though - this is a medical issue and if you need to take your meds than that is the priority. I wouldn't tell your coworkers, just management.

I don't know if these suggestions will help or not but here goes:

Focus on the other workers who don't seem to 'hate' you and completely ignore the ones who do. If you take the high road so to speak they may get tired of it and move on to another target. Also this will show that you are more mature than they are and believe me, management will notice.

If management thinks you are doing a good job, they are really the ones who matter, but it might be helpful to get them to put it in writing - print it out and put it somewhere you can see every day. This concrete reminder of how good you are doing may be just the thing to help you get through the day.

Good Luck

 

[dandelion]

In one of my latest work, a coworker wanna my place and it stressed so much and didnt tell anyone and I was fired because of his lies.
In my current work it happened again but I tell the boss this time and he make me shure that it would NEVER happen because I was more suited for this job and could I calm down and do my job property. The person quit and I stay. Some time after that, the same thing happened and again, I told to the boss and he, again, calm me down.
I just said to the boss that I had to talk to him about something that was bugging me and it was troubling me so much that i was afraid that it would affect my job.

 

[Ste11aeres]

In one of my latest work, a coworker wanna my place and it stressed so much and didnt tell anyone and I was fired because of his lies.
In my current work it happened again but I tell the boss this time and he make me shure that it would NEVER happen because I was more suited for this job and could I calm down and do my job property. The person quit and I stay. Some time after that, the same thing happened and again, I told to the boss and he, again, calm me down.
I just said to the boss that I had to talk to him about something that was bugging me and it was troubling me so much that i was afraid that it would affect my job.

Good communication with one's actual boss is important, and my lack of it was what led to my serious troubles at two past jobs.

 

[dandelion]

Good communication with one's actual boss is important, and my lack of it was what led to my serious troubles at two past jobs.

I understand. But that person (boss) really help me a lot and I dont see him like a boss. More like a friend or therapist...

 

[AsheSkyler]

Get another job lined up and leave this one behind. I've worked with those catty broads before and you don't want to spend any more time with their narrow little minds than you just have to. If they have the boss in their pocket and the boss isn't one to think about things objectively and rationally, there's little hope they'll take your side and try to make the others act like proper adults. Ah, and if you ever get married, those are precisely the last people you need to tell your news too, especially if they've been divorced a few times.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I would focus on just your employer, and on being the best employee you can be for him or her. They will notice that. In the long run, its what your boss thinks of you as an employee that matters not what your coworkers do to you. If anything, maybe learning to put up with them can help you learn how to put up with bad coworkers. There's always gonna be bad coworkers no matter where you go, even if you quit and go somewhere else. That's how i'd look at it anyways - if i hate a situation, i at least try to look at how it can be useful for me. That's how i got through math in highschool!

You said that your coworkers are close to your boss and have been there for a long time, so i'm hesitant to say they won't last long as employees. The boss either doesn't care or is blind to it all. About the bathroom break thing, how many people are watching the front at a time? I would hope more than one person. I'm not familiar with how your store works but is it possible to ask more than one person to watch the front, or at least tell whoever else you pass by that you asked so and so to watch the front for a moment? Surely they're all not that much against you. Also, I would mention your seizures to your employer - its a medical issue you need to tell them. Especially if, god forbid, something happens when you're working. Plus it'll help you to be able to take your meds when you need to, you have that right.

 

[Cali Cat]

I don’t know if I’d quit. Obviously, you’re doing well there because you got a promotion straight away. It might be good to work it for as long as you can stand it to get more experience for the next job. Try to ignore the b*tch brigade. Focus on your job and let your boss know what’s going on. If you have a problem confronting him/her, take the time to write out the story and give it to your boss. Tell him/her that you don’t want to take time away from your work to explain the issues you’re having, but would like his/her feedback on what you’ve written. I’ve had this work for me. Of course, my boss was a very rational NT woman (I won’t make any snide comments about how rare that is).

 

[The Penguin]

Try to ignore the b*tch brigade.

Good advice. Most jobs there will always be people you work with you can't stand. It learning how to manage things in this case. I had some complex situation I had to deal with people. I'm afraid to share this with you as my tactics could risk losing a job. The good news is, the methods I used didn't make me lose my job. All I say I did confront people at work but I was very careful in the methods I use.

 

[Cali Cat]

... I had some complex situation I had to deal with people. I'm afraid to share this with you as my tactics could risk losing a job ...

My tactics would probably lose a job and get me arrested, so I didn't mention mine either.

 

[The Penguin]

My tactics would probably lose a job and get me arrested, so I didn't mention mine either.

Lol OK I share some of the details. I was working on a project and the customer was having problems with some technology. The issue had to do with the setup of their machine which was something I never setup. Because I'm a new hirer, they blame me and said my code caused the issue. Even though the manager knows my technology works, he wouldn't stand up for me. I got sick of the board member saying it my fault. So I sent an anonymously email telling the whole company the issue I'm facing. The board member asked me who is the person and I told him it YOU! I said instead of arguing, why not we fix the issue. At the end of the day, there was issues with the customer setup and I never once need to change a line of code. I always make sure my technology works. I wrote this email because if they don't trust my work, Why did they hired me? Nothing happen after that day. Never mess with a penguin