Can you handle change? And how? Is it even change that's the problem?

[King_Oni]

A common thing for aspies (and people with ASD in general) is said to be that there's a problem in dealing with change. Change stresses us out, makes us go out of our comfort zone and probably a bit more.

Just now, I've been thinking if this is actually true. Is the concept of change the problem, or is it actually more important to see WHAT changes, to see if this works for any of us? And maybe even see how much changes at any given moment.

Personally; I've seen things change in the past and I wasn't really against it. I felt that change might be good. However, there's stuff that changed and I didn't like.

Myself, I don't get stressed out that much by change, as long as it's gradually, up to the point where I can easily go along with out without too much of an effort. The change doesn't affect me personally at the moment and thus I barely notice things are changing. It makes me sound lazy, but I always felt there's only so much one can do in terms of stepping out of the comfort zone. If I have to, metaphorically speaking, pack my bags on go on a trip, instead of just stepping out, that's a really, really big stretch. The big problem nowadays is, that a lot of stuff that changes, takes up full 180's all the time. Even NT people have a problem in dealing with that extreme amount of change quite often.

Also; and this is something that comes in account. I remember back when I got into hobby X I liked it as in "ok" thing. Then... as all commercial products do, they go in some kind of "improvement" thing and thus the landscape changes of how the product is marketed. I didn't mind it. It went from ok to awesome. It sustained the "awesome" a bit and after a while it went back to ok again. Now looking in retrospect, I can pretty much visualize a graph to pinpoint good changes, and as such "what I liked about it". I'm quite sure that I can do that with some sense, I don't feel that change is the problem here. I think there's a deeper layer of change. What changed, how did it change, why did it change.

I also wonder; is it change we "fear" or is it progress we're afraid of? If it's change, then make progress in changing stuff up... could it be that some people just look through the concept of change and see no progress and therefore don't like it? (it actually sounds more like the changes governments make all the time, which annoy me)

I don't know if the title for the thread is really an accurate represenation for the thread... it's probably for lack of a better title.

So anyone can make something out my ramblings and add in a thought here or there?

 

[earthsteward70]

When I think about change I get anxious. I feel a threatened feeling. However, when change happens for real, I manage to always cope with it. I think it's like the saying of making a mountain out of a mole-hill for me. A simple matter of fear of the unknown, and it's ridiculous, I know, to react when nothing is happening, and maybe not ever happen.

 

[shoukori]

I actually tend to enjoy a changing routine and new challenges - i like travel, for example. For a long time, this was one of the things that led me to believe i couldn't fall on the spectrum.

But lately I've come to realize it's not "change" necessarily that bothers me, it's unexpected things. And usually minor ones, like i think I'm going to have a relaxing afternoon watching a movie, but then someone says "oh you have to do X right now"; that will give me some anxiety and I usually unintentionally lash out and resist doing the thing, but after a few minutes of reflective thought by myself, I can say "ok, i am ready to do that now".

Change over time doesn't really bother me. And "obstacles" thrown in my path aren't usually a big deal either, it's more of a "scheduling/routine" thing, even though I don't have a rigid routine in general. Hard to explain, I guess.

 

[Arashi222]

When I think about change I get anxious. I feel a threatened feeling. However, when change happens for real, I manage to always cope with it. I think it's like the saying of making a mountain out of a mole-hill for me. A simple matter of fear of the unknown, and it's ridiculous, I know, to react when nothing is happening, and maybe not ever happen.

This is me. I can't handle even the slightest of changes to routine. I don't know what it is about change that bothers me but I need thigns to be predicable, to be accountable, to just be the same forever unless I have the choice to change because then there is the option to just stay the way things are. For example one of the reason my ex-friends aren't my friends anymore is because I would expect that every night they would get online and talk to me and we would IM. OK sounds normal well when they would forget or not tell me then I would get upset I would call them thinking something was wrong when I find out they were hanging out together and forgot about me. That just would upset me. So I can't do change I like my schedule just the way that it is thank you very much

 

[The Penguin]

Depends. When I moved to Toronto I was able to adapt to the change living in a larger busy city. But when I moved to Halifax it was too hard to adapt to change as people don't get things done hear and many people gave me bad experiences.

 

[Kari Suttle]

A common thing for aspies (and people with ASD in general) is said to be that there's a problem in dealing with change. Change stresses us out, makes us go out of our comfort zone and probably a bit more.

Just now, I've been thinking if this is actually true. Is the concept of change the problem, or is it actually more important to see WHAT changes, to see if this works for any of us? And maybe even see how much changes at any given moment.

Personally; I've seen things change in the past and I wasn't really against it. I felt that change might be good. However, there's stuff that changed and I didn't like.

Myself, I don't get stressed out that much by change, as long as it's gradually, up to the point where I can easily go along with out without too much of an effort. The change doesn't affect me personally at the moment and thus I barely notice things are changing. It makes me sound lazy, but I always felt there's only so much one can do in terms of stepping out of the comfort zone. If I have to, metaphorically speaking, pack my bags on go on a trip, instead of just stepping out, that's a really, really big stretch. The big problem nowadays is, that a lot of stuff that changes, takes up full 180's all the time. Even NT people have a problem in dealing with that extreme amount of change quite often.

Also; and this is something that comes in account. I remember back when I got into hobby X I liked it as in "ok" thing. Then... as all commercial products do, they go in some kind of "improvement" thing and thus the landscape changes of how the product is marketed. I didn't mind it. It went from ok to awesome. It sustained the "awesome" a bit and after a while it went back to ok again. Now looking in retrospect, I can pretty much visualize a graph to pinpoint good changes, and as such "what I liked about it". I'm quite sure that I can do that with some sense, I don't feel that change is the problem here. I think there's a deeper layer of change. What changed, how did it change, why did it change.

I also wonder; is it change we "fear" or is it progress we're afraid of? If it's change, then make progress in changing stuff up... could it be that some people just look through the concept of change and see no progress and therefore don't like it? (it actually sounds more like the changes governments make all the time, which annoy me)

I don't know if the title for the thread is really an accurate represenation for the thread... it's probably for lack of a better title.

So anyone can make something out my ramblings and add in a thought here or there?

It depends what kind of change. If mom were to suddenly declare the day to be a family day out, then i wouldn't mind i'd be happy about it. I'd still be a bit anxious or unsettled cause i didn't get to do whatever i'd already planned with my day, but i'd be happy for time out of the house nonetheless. But if mom only told me the night before that i had an appointment of some sort - something she did to me all the time as a kid - then i'd all but freak out. I'd get really nervous and anxious and spend all my spare time planning in my head what i was to say when during and after the appointment. I need a good week's notice of important things like that to adjust properly without the unnecessary anxiety. So for me it really depends on what type of change it is, what plans i'd already made myself, how important it is, and how i'm feeling at the time. I can handle anything much better when ive gotten a good night of sleep and a decent meal under my belt.

 

[clg114]

I do not like change, partly because of AS and partly because I'm old. This bad because the only thing that is for sure, is that everything will change.

 

[toothless]

am unable to cope with change and have to be medicated with high potency anti pyschotics due to the uncontrolable changes that happen,from furniture being moved to activities being re arranged to changing the route we go or routine.
have got a laminated PECS timeline that has symbols of every task/activity/action during the day,it has to be done otherwise will experience severe challenging behavior and a lot of agony in head.

besides SCB,communication and language,change and unpredictibility are two of the biggest things that make life very challenging and difficult to cope with.

 

[Harrison]

I have no problem with change if I have instigated it. Then it has been planned and thought through by me, and accepted as inevitable.

If someone thrusts change upon me I can kick back hard until the 'rightness' of it becomes apparent.

 

[Pyrola]

I have no problem with change if I have instigated it. Then it has been planned and thought through by me, and accepted as inevitable.

If someone thrusts change upon me I can kick back hard until the 'rightness' of it becomes apparent.

I certainly can relate to this. I really like things that are familiar, sometimes even if they aren't ideal. As long as the change was my idea, it's still hard, but not as bad as if I hadn't been the one to choose. Small changes like furniture rearrangement are unsettling, but liveable. Bigger things like going someplace new or a change in schedule are much more difficult. Life transitions such as moving away for college are terribly hard, I get depressed and have meltdowns often by just thinking about it. Of course I am choosing to go to college, but I certainly would rather not move away from my family!

 

[asman]

In my opinion, you don't have to be ASD to dislike or fear change. To a certain extent, I think this is true for everyone. People on the spectrum are rated by certain characteristics or traits. So it isn't a fair generalization to say that aspies are afraid of changes. As an aspie, I do travel and can adapt to new places / sleeping in different time zone. However, I do get all overwhelmed knowing that there will be some guys that are going to be replacing my windows. I am not overwhelmed by the changing of the windows but by the situation where I will have strangers in my house and making noses, etc....

Is this overwhelming feeling an aspie thing? hmmm.....somehow i think all humans would experience the same but to a varying degree.

 

[ancusmitis]

Some changes I like, some I hate. I think most human beings have an aversion to chaos, and NT's don't necessarily understand the things we find chaotic, since the internal logic of the situation is clear to them.

Edit: There are of course people for whom routine is critical, but they aren't necessarily all on the spectrum. Or off of it.