Brief Moments of Clarity

[S-Head]

@Kepler's Motion

I gave up using cow milk.
It had a bad effect on me.
Chills, confusion, crying.
For good measure, I don't eat beef, either.

Nightshade family (tomatoes, potatoes, eggplant, peppers, tobacco)
make me miserable. Aching joints, a feeling of heaviness physically,
and extreme depression mentally, as well as runny eyes and sinus
pain.

Caffeine gives me hives.
Latex family makes it hard to breath & a feeling of
burning in my mouth(bananas, figs etc) and the touch
of latex or lyric makes me itch intolerably.

I used to feel very cloudy in the head before I figured out
these substances were a problem. It's useful to keep a
food (or exposure) "diary" in order to track occurrences
of feeling bad/weird/disoriented/'off.'

You are sensitive to quite a few things. Have you tried cutting out bread and pasta? I've heard it can have a surprising impact on some people.

I myself tried cutting out bread and pasta for a month, substituting it mostly with rice. Wow, I dropped 6 kilos (13 lbs) without even trying. It's not like I'm big, ending up at 75 kilos (165 lbs). My fat layer on the outside has stayed the same, so it must have been from fat on the inside? It has not so much emotional benefit for me, although maybe someone like yourself or the OP will benefit more?

I'm still trying to figure out why my scalp is so itchy (currently controlled with medicated shampoo) and I have rosacea.

 

[mw2530]

When I was diagnosed with high functioning autism in late 2015 at the age of 28 I was distraught to say the least. It was something I had no understanding of (at least that is what I believed at the time) and what we don't understand scares us. It is all a part of the human condition to fear what we don't know. Fear is what holds us back, it dictates our entire life if we allow it. We are told on a daily basis to overcome our fears, something that seems so trivial yet in reality can be one of the greatest challenges we could ever meet. So I am here today to do just that, to overcome my fears and speak to you all about my condition, my life as a HFA. Today I would like to talk to you all about a conscious state of mind that I like to call "Brief Moments of Clarity".

Throughout my day-to-day life I feel pressure, mental and physical pressure. I feel as though every decision I make is questioned in my mind by a panel of detractors constantly disproving of any move I make no matter how minor. It stops me from completing the simplest of tasks, and there are days were I have not eaten due to this mental barrier stopping me in my tracks. I mentioned also physical pressure. I am not sure if anyone can relate to this, but I am in a constant state of physical discomfort, there is no pain, just a very dull ache that is constantly present, no matter what I do I am never comfortable. Standing, sitting or lying down the dull ache throughout my body remains. I believe this symptom to be connected to my ASD.

The reason I mention these perceived abnormalities is because once every few months for anywhere between 30 seconds to 2 minutes they all disappear at once.. I feel every muscle in my body relax, I feel my mind clearing and I can see through the fog of war. The panic, self doubt and discomfort are gone. During this time I can see all my problems laid out in front of me and what is more important, I can see the solutions to these problems. In this time I am confident, I can feel some sense of self worth, I feel connected. I can only describe this period as euphoric, something akin to ionian enchantment. The moment is always fleeting and soon the haze once again descends and it feels as though once again I am stumbling around in the dark.

I wonder, is this moment that I so seldom encounter the norm for people without ASD. If it is, it must be bliss.

Can I ask if any of you have similar experiences?

Thank you for your time and attention, it means a great deal

KM

I've felt this. Also have that constant uncomfortable feeling in my body at all times. I suspect this is actually due to past trauma in our lives. The body holds onto past trauma. A good book is "In and unspoken Voice" by Peter Levine. It is a bit technical but talks about how to take steps to have the body release the trauma. Easier said than done though. Those with ASD have experienced trauma through so many unsuccessful and negative interactions with people.

 

[Chance]

When I was diagnosed with high functioning autism in late 2015 at the age of 28 I was distraught to say the least. It was something I had no understanding of (at least that is what I believed at the time) and what we don't understand scares us. It is all a part of the human condition to fear what we don't know. Fear is what holds us back, it dictates our entire life if we allow it. We are told on a daily basis to overcome our fears, something that seems so trivial yet in reality can be one of the greatest challenges we could ever meet. So I am here today to do just that, to overcome my fears and speak to you all about my condition, my life as a HFA. Today I would like to talk to you all about a conscious state of mind that I like to call "Brief Moments of Clarity".

Throughout my day-to-day life I feel pressure, mental and physical pressure. I feel as though every decision I make is questioned in my mind by a panel of detractors constantly disproving of any move I make no matter how minor. It stops me from completing the simplest of tasks, and there are days were I have not eaten due to this mental barrier stopping me in my tracks. I mentioned also physical pressure. I am not sure if anyone can relate to this, but I am in a constant state of physical discomfort, there is no pain, just a very dull ache that is constantly present, no matter what I do I am never comfortable. Standing, sitting or lying down the dull ache throughout my body remains. I believe this symptom to be connected to my ASD.

The reason I mention these perceived abnormalities is because once every few months for anywhere between 30 seconds to 2 minutes they all disappear at once.. I feel every muscle in my body relax, I feel my mind clearing and I can see through the fog of war. The panic, self doubt and discomfort are gone. During this time I can see all my problems laid out in front of me and what is more important, I can see the solutions to these problems. In this time I am confident, I can feel some sense of self worth, I feel connected. I can only describe this period as euphoric, something akin to ionian enchantment. The moment is always fleeting and soon the haze once again descends and it feels as though once again I am stumbling around in the dark.

I wonder, is this moment that I so seldom encounter the norm for people without ASD. If it is, it must be bliss.

Can I ask if any of you have similar experiences?

Thank you for your time and attention, it means a great deal

KM

Hey KM
I get you and Sabrina both...I have the roaming dull ache
that never ends. I have had it all my life I think in a fog basically 24/7.

Yes those moments of "clarity" are to me special. I try and map out what I was doing, where I was, what I had been eating, what mood I was in, you name it.

I do this trying to find the combination that unlocks this barrier, but so far I think identifying this combination is like producing a unicorn in real life.

However I am very appreciative of those moments. They make me feel like a genius for just a short time, but maybe more than that they let me know there is more out there or in there.

I do stay maybe too active. I over do things and then get too tired but that ache and fog is always there regardless, so I carry on.

I do have a few allergies casin (the protein in dairy) is maybe the worst. I'm not lactose intolerant but casin intolerant. My body can't break down that protein and it's about 72 hours later that the effects show up, so this was a little tough to track down. Sadly I like milk, but no longer touch most anything dairy.

Plus I was born with SPD. I have hyper hearing, it actually hurts to hear some sounds, hyper smell so I want to puke over things that don't bother other people and people touching me or course clothing just sucks. My mind gets fixated on it and I have to do something about it.

I think I think way to much on every tiny thing and that creates the fog and the pain, but I don't know how to stop it. I just jump over and think on something else or find something to worry about, or dwell on something someone said that pissed me off...

I wish I could install a switch in my brain where I can just shut it off and let it rest a while.

 

[OlLiE]

yes, i do recognise this quite a lot, including the 'phantom' pain

i have a theory floating around in my head, i have been diagnosed as high functioning as well, likely combined with highly sensitive, so i think that there are layers of stimulative stress: constant stress, constant stress that becomes unbearable due to increased intensity, and unexpected stress

constant stress: normal noise, normally bright light, normal outside/inside temperatures, the normal expectations related to work and a relationship
constant stress - increased intensity: loud environment, harsh light, very warm weather (cold is ok), relationship and work related problems (emotions / expectations)
unexpected stress: phishing mails, missed calls from hidden numbers, someone else's unescapable emotional black holes ...

i think i have a daily energy reserve that almost gets me through the day and covers constant stress - additionally i have a buffer that deals with 'constant stress-increased intensity' and unexpected stress, by not having respected my boundaries since birth, my buffer is now gone and i can't even deal with the daily constant stress

so on a cold and cloudy day, where i can stay at home, when i have no obligations and am well rested - i have these moments of clarity/peace
not so in the summer, on a hot humid day, with bright sun, forced to be outside, with social obligations - then i'm just struggling to get through my day

recently it was hot for a couple of days and i was abjectly miserable, afterwards the weather changed into overcast and much colder and as a result there was much less street noise during the day and night and all of a sudden i felt much better, and felt clarity get nearer

 

[Kepler's Motion]

Hey KM
I get you and Sabrina both...I have the roaming dull ache
that never ends. I have had it all my life I think in a fog basically 24/7.

Yes those moments of "clarity" are to me special. I try and map out what I was doing, where I was, what I had been eating, what mood I was in, you name it.

I do this trying to find the combination that unlocks this barrier, but so far I think identifying this combination is like producing a unicorn in real life.

However I am very appreciative of those moments. They make me feel like a genius for just a short time, but maybe more than that they let me know there is more out there or in there.

I do stay maybe too active. I over do things and then get too tired but that ache and fog is always there regardless, so I carry on.

I do have a few allergies casin (the protein in dairy) is maybe the worst. I'm not lactose intolerant but casin intolerant. My body can't break down that protein and it's about 72 hours later that the effects show up, so this was a little tough to track down. Sadly I like milk, but no longer touch most anything dairy.

Plus I was born with SPD. I have hyper hearing, it actually hurts to hear some sounds, hyper smell so I want to puke over things that don't bother other people and people touching me or course clothing just sucks. My mind gets fixated on it and I have to do something about it.

I think I think way to much on every tiny thing and that creates the fog and the pain, but I don't know how to stop it. I just jump over and think on something else or find something to worry about, or dwell on something someone said that pissed me off...

I wish I could install a switch in my brain where I can just shut it off and let it rest a while.

Hi Chance,

So I have been trying to piece together the various elements of ASD that affect me to gain a greater understanding of the disorder as a whole, and one of the key elements of doing so is finding people how experience similar sensations and symptoms as I do (borderline narcissism I know!).

Reading your reply was almost scary.. I have never come across another person with an intolerance to casein, and as I looked into it, it seems many people with ASD also suffer from this intolerance (I would love to know the biological link between the two!). But also.. I would like to ask you about your PSD your hypersensitivity, as I believe personally this is where my physical discomfort stems from. Like you, my hearing is spectacular to the point were I become disorientated in crowed situations due to the over saturation of noise. I am super sensitive to temperature change finding myself either too hot or too cold at all times. There are certain materials that I simply can not touch, I don't know if you have ever come across plastic chopping broads but the rough surface sets me on edge!

Driving at night is a huge problem, as I am sensitive to light, any on coming vehicle with their lights on blind me. Now everyone I have spoken to have told me the same thing "Oh it blinds everyone, its nothing to worry about" but I don't think they understand.. I am actually blinded by the light and take a number of seconds for me to regain my vision, so I avoid night driving as much as possible.

May I ask for your experiences with such matters?

 

[Kepler's Motion]

To everyone that replied to this post I would like to say thank you very much, all of your replies have been extremely helpful.

 

[Chance]

Night blind also, I look at the right hand stripe or right edge of road, so I know where I am at all time and try very hard not too look into the lights at all. I cant see sometimes for a few seconds.

HEAT SUCKS!!! I hate it. Its been over 100 for days in this hellish place. I love cool weather. I like cold weather as long as there isn't a freaking 50 mph wind. I'm wanting so bad to back to San Diego (Mt. Julian), but I'm stuck here till fall.

Sensory processing disorder sucks. I get way too emotional sometimes and that gets me mad at myself.
I try so hard to hide all this stuff, and I can for a while but the energy it sucks from me is more than I can cope with sometimes. However, I am very grateful for my life. I hate to complain, most of it (just like you) is just hashing stuff out, trying to find ways to make it better.

I have finally succumb to that fact its not going away, and at this point if it did, I wouldn't be me any more.

 

[Chance]

Hi Chance,

So I have been trying to piece together the various elements of ASD that affect me to gain a greater understanding of the disorder as a whole, and one of the key elements of doing so is finding people how experience similar sensations and symptoms as I do (borderline narcissism I know!).

Reading your reply was almost scary.. I have never come across another person with an intolerance to casein, and as I looked into it, it seems many people with ASD also suffer from this intolerance (I would love to know the biological link between the two!). But also.. I would like to ask you about your PSD your hypersensitivity, as I believe personally this is where my physical discomfort stems from. Like you, my hearing is spectacular to the point were I become disorientated in crowed situations due to the over saturation of noise. I am super sensitive to temperature change finding myself either too hot or too cold at all times. There are certain materials that I simply can not touch, I don't know if you have ever come across plastic chopping broads but the rough surface sets me on edge!

Driving at night is a huge problem, as I am sensitive to light, any on coming vehicle with their lights on blind me. Now everyone I have spoken to have told me the same thing "Oh it blinds everyone, its nothing to worry about" but I don't think they understand.. I am actually blinded by the light and take a number of seconds for me to regain my vision, so I avoid night driving as much as possible.

May I ask for your experiences with such matters?

Sorry the above text was a response to KM - thanks

 

[S-Head]

Driving at night is a huge problem, as I am sensitive to light, any on coming vehicle with their lights on blind me. Now everyone I have spoken to have told me the same thing "Oh it blinds everyone, its nothing to worry about" but I don't think they understand.. I am actually blinded by the light and take a number of seconds for me to regain my vision, so I avoid night driving as much as possible.

May I ask for your experiences with such matters?

Driving at night, when the headlights of an oncoming car get too bright, I stop looking forward, and look at the right hand side of the road, or the solid line there. I just keep watching that and position my car relative to that, and if the person coming the other way should do something stupid, like cross over into my lane, I can tell using peripheral vision. When they've passed, then I don't have to worry about recovery because I was looking away the whole time. I hope maybe this helps.