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Born a smart person with high empathy into a dysfunctional home

William Weiler

Ad Astra
I was acutely aware of the dysfunction of the rules of society rules at 5yrs. I has selective mutism at the time as well and was internally focused. Was stood out was my parents faith in money and how it wasn't working, and that my Dad wasn't present. A bunch of freak horrific traumas followed and I almost died many times. So I have been on the path to enlightenment, for a better description. What can I do about my suffering, and the suffering I see all around me? After 40yrs I see many more things than I did before. I am still in pain for many things I have yet to accept. I have to be careful around others who follow these rules, and be careful of what I say in front of people who have not accepted these things. The end result is a powerlessness, that without this knowledge I gained, others can't act in any functional way. Most haven't even taken square one, the simple step of admitting the problem is within them. So I cannot do anything. I am one in person in world of 7B without political power, or the power of money. Yet even those individuals who see can not make any significant progress. Most people pursing a solution to their suffering with illusions, such as being a millionaire, being successful, or expecting the government to fix it. In the end I can only be present for someone else. Not even my words help that much, despite my pride.

It is a painful place to be. But I can be effective here, and not chase windmills and fail once again. I do fight, I give money to causes, and I volunteer in many places. I pick up trash in the community so kids grow up with more self-esteem. But the world will continue as it is, and things will come to pass. I will do what I can.
 
The only problem money solves is not having money. Sometimes, when a person develops a clandestine knowledge of something they can use that for the general good. Frequently however, they use that knowledge to 'cash in.' Stop focusing on money. You need enough money to put a roof over your head, eat well and have access to decent health care. I make enough money for those three things I just listed but little else. However, I've done a great deal of good by using the clandestine knowledge I've accumulated for the general good rather than trying to make more money than I need to live. We accomplish great things by breaking the unspoken rules, not by conforming to them. Become what you think you should be and not what society says you should be.
 
Don Quixote only died AFTER he stopped chasing windmills. I think fighting windmills is beautiful and seeing little crystals of frost as diamonds and a beloved as beautiful no matter what.

Every man IS an island. Love your island!
 
It is a journey of discovery my limitations or everyone's. I have a lot of Joy in my life despite what has happened. When I de-programmed all my dysfunctional Christian beliefs, like a punishing God, the guilt, the devil, I discovered Christ as in idea and was overwhelmed with the beauty of it, perhaps the Christ I had always been looking for. The one who saves, the one who loves you out of the darkness back into the light.

Don Quixote is fantasy. The movies, the large than life, the grand heros, lofty goals, complex philosophical arguments. To give up fantasy is to give up those feelings of wonder and awe, and the great adventure. Otherwise I am looking for my car keys and that is life.

BTW - it is nice to see Jon M and OkRad.
 

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