Being yourself vs trying to fit societies’ expectations

[Sarah S]

One thing i have learnt a long time ago is ALWAYS be true to youre self . If anyone have a problem with that thats there problems (and no im not saying im in the right of behaving like an arshole . BUT i will not pretend for anyone either as it will Mosty only backfire anyway (did that done that most of my young life. Stopped when i became adult )

 

[Progster]

Yes, where work is concerned, I am self-employed and need to keep a professional appearance. When I'm at home, it's a different matter.

 

[Streetwise]

I don’t fit neuro typical or neuro diverse

 

[Streetwise]

I bet I am not the only one here who feels this way. I try to be myself , but I find it difficult to be ignored and not listened to.

I mean I thought “being yourself” and “just be yourself” was a way for people to fit in ? Instead of be yourself, but not the part that annoys others or questions everything.

This causes great anxiety in myself, so I take medication, but that doesn’t really fix the issue. I still don’t belong “here.”

I want to find a world where I don’t feel the way I do

 

[Sarah S]

I want to find a world where I don’t feel the way I do

If you do please let me know and i happily join you

 

[Kalinychta]

This is my big question right now.

I was misdiagnosed (with BPD) a decade and a half ago and have spent the better part of that time at war with myself trying to change the things about myself that led to the diagnosis and even before that I knew I was different and pretty much my whole life and was always trying to hide those weird things I do. Actually it was my hiding of it that got my autism missed by both my parents and the many drs and psychologists I've seen over the years.

Now that I've been diagnosed (with autism) about 3 weeks ago, I'm feeling like I want to just give up all the hiding and be myself. For one example, my whole life I've been obsessed with beads but never allowed myself to fully enjoy them, especially not in public, but now I am carrying my beads with me everywhere. Still haven't become comfortable with actually pulling them out and using them in a stressful situation because of how weird I know it will look to those who see me fidgeting with them.... but part of me just wants to give up the act after 35 years and just be myself for once.

I, too, was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder years ago. It’s a common misdiagnosis because so many of us experience what’s called autistic burnout, which looks like bipolar. It happens when you’ve spent years trying and trying to fit in and masking your autism and attempting to suppress it, and eventually you just break down and become “more autistic” and withdrawn and depressed, etc. It can last for months or years.

 

[Shenandoah]

I don't feel that I *have* to conform but I still do in some ways. The thing is that very often I don't know what I am feeling. The feedback mechanism isn't functioning well. With that I don't have a very good sense of self which I assume one needs to not conform. As a substitute I tend to select some small part of society which I *think* represents that vague self and try to conform to that. In many cases that fails unfortunately.

 

[sybok]

I think everyone does it to a certain degree. I mean, imagine if everyone said what was on their mind. It would be a different world. But yes, feeling like you are faulty and needing to hide, what in the end, is your true nature, in terms of how you process information, and overload etc., is taxing.

I wish to be diagnosed so I can speak about this without having to justify myself all the time.

 

[Alexej]

I answered yes but there is also an element of sometimes.

Outside the family it is less but within the family I do not feel accepted (or understood) for how I am.. Shucks - I am just coming to terms with Aspergers and alexithymia and struggling to understand what this means for me. As they say, "if you have met one Aspie - you have met one Aspie", and the me I have known all these years is not a full picture. Now, with the diagnosis, I am having the re-understand so much about myself. So how folks around me can cope with this change I don't know - so yes I do seek to adapt to the world.