Being too honest

[Anthracite]

I can be if my mouth's running ahead of my brain, happens a lot with less common complaints where I've not memorised the socially acceptable script.

Going with the fat thing I'll usually try to tone it down to "pleasantly plump", or with people I know I'll tell them outright "stop worrying about your weight, you'll survive longer in a famine" (how's that for a back-handed advantage?). Sometimes though I do just have to stay quiet because I've had eating disorder after eating disorder, up and down and up again, and it can be a touchy subject for me personally.

 

[Adora]

I am a honest person but I don’t think I’m brutal,my husband always says to me that my honesty is one of my strengths but I would never say anything if I know it would hurt someone but at the same time it’s hard for me to lie,I think I might of been a bit more blunt when younger because when I was in year 4 I was talking to my teacher and what I said even though it wasn’t anything bad that I was aware she got really angry at me and said I spoke to her really rude and she even grabbed me and dragged me to another classroom and complained to another teacher in front of me,after that she always corrected how I spoke because I apparently how I phrased things sounded rude but even now I’m baffled about it because to me i didn’t say anything to offend but maybe I’m just not aware of things at times,now I think I am more polite but I think there are times I may slip because even my husband gets annoyed with things I say sometimes.

 

[SusanLR]

What's wrong with you? Make a proper cup of tea. The dolls aren't real. Are you mad?

Mad as a Hatter...

 

[Nina88]

Regarding honesty... I don't lie to people, but I also don't tend to say hurtful truths either. There is a way to avoid both. It's basically to say something that's true but positive.

For example, I have friends who play music. If I go to see their band and the music is great- I say "Your band is great! I love your music!" If the music sucks, I don't say "You guys play terrible music and you suck." Instead I will say something like "It was great to see you tonight! You looked like you were having a lot of fun up there" or "You guys played with a lot of energy and enthusiasm!" All true-- none of which says anything about the music. If someone says "Do I look fat" I would just not answer the question. If you know the answer is hurtful, but don't want to lie... say something else. Say, for example "I always think you are beautiful" (remember that beauty can refer to many things) or "That dress looks nice on you" or "You're a beautiful person and shouldn't be worrying about your weight" or "If you were, I wouldn't care" or even "Don't judge yourself that way. You are great." or just plain "I'm not going to answer that question because I don't think anyone should ask it. You're a wonderful human being and I think you are really cute." Just give validation. Say something else that is positive. The validation is all that person is really looking for anyway.

 

[Arkanu of Galatiel]

I've never been considered brutally honest, just the regular kind. However, I can be blunt, and I prefer to be straightforward and to the point, which apparently is going to be a problem. I have been brutally honest at times, yes.