Being better off alone, and people who don't get it

[oregano]

So I'm sitting in the waiting room of my local clinic yesterday, waiting to be called back to have my blood drawn. This guy sits down next to me and starts talking to the woman next to him. Turns out they both belong to the same local Evangelical Christian megachurch (more on that in a moment) and soon they start talking about how Jesus miraculously "cured" their cancer. The whole conversation was getting so stupid that I must have been getting visibly uncomfortable...

"What's wrong, don't you believe in the Lord Jesus's ability to work miracles?"

Ugh. "Well, I think that if you get cancer, you should just let it go and accept your fate and live each remaining day of your life to it's fullest."

WRONG ANSWER. "Jesus gave me 14 more years with my soulmate after the doctors said he only had 6 to 12 months. Don't you have a soulmate?" says the woman.

"Well, I'm autistic, so no."

"Do you have friends?"

"Well, no. I'm autistic, remember."

WRONG ANSWER. They both started babbling about this church they belong to, and how autistic people are accepted and loved and etc there, and how I should join. UGH! I tried comparing myself to the Stylites and Hermits of early Christianity, and how this was my path in life. WRONG ANSWER. "Everybody has to have friends! Come to our church, we accept everybody!"

This church is a gigantic American "megachurch" that is so huge it actually has no fewer than FOUR satellite congregations because the central auditorium is too small now, despite it being huge. I've seen photos of this place, and I'm fairly sure that Jesus would be utterly enraged by it. It sounds like they baptize you and then assign you to a certain number of subgroups where you are expected to participate, and where you automatically have "friends". Basically, it's more like a cult that's organized along the lines of the US Congress where members get committee assignments. From the way they talked it sounded like something that takes over your entire life. Uh, no thanks.

I tried explaining my point of view, and finally they said "I don't argue with people who don't truly know Jesus." Fortunately, my name was called and I got away from them.

It's hard for non-USAians to understand, but stuff like this happens fairly often here. If you run into one or two of these Christ Cult types, you will get pressured to join their megacult. They will find an opening and go for it. If they think you are "lonely" or "suffering", they will try and convince you that their megacult is the answer to your "problems".

Unfortunately, being in the lab's tiny, cramped waiting room meant that I had to interact with these guys. They didn't want to hear that I am perfectly happy alone; their brainwashed brains can't compute that. Everybody needs friends according to their cult leader. You can throw everything from Stylites to City of God at them and they won't budge. GAG!

 

[Mia]

Didn't realize that sort of thing happened as often as it does. I'm in canada and people are mainly catholic in the area I live in, they rarely attempt to bring other's into their religion. If they do, it's by telephone on Sundays.

You're not alone Oregano. You have this place and people who read and respond to your posts. So I don't think you're friendless.

 

[Wolfnox]

Yeah faced that myself. Apparently when you say your christian. It immediately comes with the question. Oh. What church are you in? An idea im at odds with. Churchs are fine with me. Until they start preaching things not in the Bible. This whole you must be in a church to believe idea is dangerous. The church exists to help the faith. It is not the center or origin of it. I strongly suspect money is involved in this idea of making everyone believe you can only believe and practice your faith in a church.

 

[Aspychata]

Sounds like a pyramid scheme, with of course - Scientology taking awards as the biggest rip-off one yet.

 

[Pats]

I really don't see much of that when in public. It would make me very uncomfortable. I like church (small ones) but I don't go near as often as I used to. I used to go every Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wed evening and tried to be active, but always left depressed or upset and didn't understand why (long before I knew about the autism, so now it makes sense). I don't push myself to go. And when I do - it's exhausting and frustrating. It's always the same attitudes - you have to be there, you have to do this and do that, and they leave out what is convenient. There's more to being a Christian than going to church and I get irritated when I hear over and over that if you're not at church you're not going to Heaven.
I was talking about this to an old friend from the church I went to in Georgia - about 20-25 members. Anyway, he pointed out to me that the Eunich that Peter baptized when they came upon water, went on his way. He was taught about Jesus and baptism, then was on his own. He wasn't given a long list of rules he had to follow. Anyhow.......... that's how I see it.

 

[Giraffes]

Hi
Tricky situation, I’m autistic and I do need friends, that connection and belonging rocks my world frustrating and problematic as it is, indoctrination doesn’t equal friendship I get that

 

[Aspychata]

Anything that takes over your entire life is a cult.

 

[oregano]

Yeah faced that myself. Apparently when you say your christian. It immediately comes with the question. Oh. What church are you in? An idea im at odds with. Churchs are fine with me. Until they start preaching things not in the Bible. This whole you must be in a church to believe idea is dangerous. The church exists to help the faith. It is not the center or origin of it. I strongly suspect money is involved in this idea of making everyone believe you can only believe and practice your faith in a church.

St. Augustine said that the Second Coming of Jesus is when a sinful man repents and accepts Jesus into his heart. I interpret that as saying that the true church is in your heart, not in a building and/or group. Even Jesus himself told his followers to pray alone. The oldest ruins of a Christian church building identified by archeologists date back to 200 years AFTER the crucifixion. As a persecuted, illegal faith under Roman rule, the first Christians could not build big buildings, they had to meet in secret. As for the money angle, yeah that's it, it reminds me of an old George Carlin line: "God always seems to need money! He's an omnipotent, universe spanning being, but he can't balance a checkbook!" And did I mention that the leader of this particular megacult lives in a McMansion in one of the most exclusive areas of my city?

 

[Pats]

@oregano
I don't agree with St Augustine about the second coming. I believe the second coming is when Jesus returns to gather his bride, his church. His church is the people who follow Him and has nothing to do with the buildings. And the money thing - there was a preacher in Ohio, who had all the members have vasectomies or tubal ligations so they could donate more money to the church instead of having to spend money on kids and families. Meanwhile his personal jet alone was millions of dollars. I guess people started coming out in the open and figured out he had some kind of cult thing going on, too. And this went on for years.

 

[oregano]

@Pats, I won't argue about the Second Coming, but I can see your point about his church being the people who know him. People not from the US are often shocked to find out what goes on here in the name of Jesus. The New Testament praises children, in one verse (that has unfortunately been twisted by yet another Christ Cult) children are compared to arrows and says that the man who has a "quiver" full of them is blessed. There are preachers here who tell their flocks not to submit to ANY modern medicine AT ALL and instead give that money to the preacher. There is a mention in the New Testament about the false prophets who will lead many astray and hand their souls to Satan under the guise of being godly.

My mom has a friend who quit the Catholics over the priest sex scandals and what she felt was a focus on "miracles" in lieu of what is taught in the Bible. This woman is VERY conservative, one of those types who believes that abortion is murder and homosexuality is an abomination.

She went looking for a church and couldn't find one! She said that every single church she looked into was more a cult than a church, with brainwashed zombie followers giving all their money to a preacher who lived high on the hog. She pointed out to my mom that Jesus said "you cannot worship both God and money", and all the churches she saw put money before God. She was at a loss as to who to believe. She finally settled on Mormonism due to its strict moral code.

 

[Pats]

@oregano There ARE churches out there without the money mentality. One in Ohio that I grew up in and one in Georgia that I really miss (but keep in touch with), both were very small congregations (Like 20 - 30 people) and was more like family. All go eat together somewhere after church and did things together. Both more like the church (as the people) described in the New Testament. Where I go here is okay, about 80 members probably (including kids) but they focus more on rules - being there every time the door opens, and having no instruments or not a building with a kitchen and so on. They do have a modestly paid preacher (which I'm used to going where they didn't pay a preacher) that it's enough to live a normal life on, and the house is provided - small house, nothing fancy.
I don't really trust these large churches and how can it be like family with so many people.

I'm not sure what you're saying about the children and arrows and quivers.

 

[oregano]

@Pats, I was referring to the preacher you mentioned who told his cultists to sterilize themselves so they would have more money to give him instead of spending it on kids, and I was pointing out that that goes against the Bible. I was not clear, and I apologize.

 

[hatfullofrain]

I'm British, so I don't think that kind of conversation would happen to me as we have more of a secular culture over here. But I can relate to a certain extent.

My aunt is NT. My parents are on the spectrum as am I. When I left school my aunt encouraged me to go and live with her and study at a college near her. She thought that my teenage life was boring and I needed to get away from my boring parents and do the kind of things she enjoyed as a teen.

She didn't get that I was living my life how I wanted to. I'm not a party goer. I don't like clubs or bars. I like walks in nature and sitting in the park reading a book.

Eventually she gave up.