Beginning friendships - mutual initiation, or not??

[MROSS]

Concerning the challenges with friendships on the Autism Spectrum (even with High Functioning Autism (HFA), HFA yet NT-like), I personally feel that friendships initiated via mutual initiation prove most favorable.

Friendships where (even thoughtful people) initiate (non-mutual initiation) friendships sooner or later don't feel quite right - sometimes, it feels like the freindship was appointed.

With the Autism Spectrum, being the person to intiate friendships is the least preffered option.

Any similar experiences?

 

[Jumpinbare]

I have always found my friendships to "just happen". We seem at home with each other from the beginning. There's no "effort" on my part (other than just not driving everyone off at first meeting).
We share interests and have similar communication styles, and POOF! lifelong friends.

Of course, I have never had more than 2 or 3 friends at a time. (Not in the sense of being in the same place and time - most of my friends over the years have not met each other). So my experience certainly may not be common.

I have (once in a great while) had people clearly make a strong and obvious effort to be my friend, where I believed they were insincere and just wanted to use my friendship. I have treated these people very neutrally, on the off-chance they were for real, but they tended to tip their hand relatively quickly. The latest one, an actual neighbor, keeps asking me for beer money (his wife won't buy it for him). He hasn't seemed to realize I am not interested in feeding his alcoholism, so he's barking up the wrong tree.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I should qualify a statement above. I consider someone a lifelong friend even if they move away and we lose contact. By current friends, I mean active friends.