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Bad Brain Day


Hopefully Human
Staff member
V.I.P Member
Do you ever feel something hard that you don’t quite understand yet? Having trouble finding the words, but keeping it in will squish you to death? Sometimes it feels like my brain will not cooperate with me. Here’s a thread where you can get it out even if you can’t find the words. Even if it becomes enigmatic.
This is a smart idea for a thread. This morning I feel the pressure of masking. That fear which comes up at being inauthentic. Part of this is the toll of this particular week. It's had some unusual stressors. Another part is my progress away from masking so much. This is not just a simple, linear achievement, so I'm bound to have days like this.
For me, this has been a balm:

I love its story of a washed up singer--a one hit wonder of the rock and roll age. He's now a janitor, looking back on his fame and everything which has replaced him. It's amusing but cathartic. He is vain but sympathetic.

This is the kind of thing I often turn to in stress. There is release in studying the lives of people.

(I also love a developed melody--touching it and playing with it in my head, like a stim toy. Even better when the lyrics are thought provoking.)
I’m glad this thread is here because I’m having a hard time describing how I’m feeling today.
Just kind of like:
My brain has a zest for the counterproductive. Why go to the gym when the Xbox is more immediately entertaining?

But we all get new cells every seven years, and I am training myself to act in my best interests these days.

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