I talk at work because it's well-structured and there are work-related things that need talking about (which is different from socializing). I supervise a bunch of people, so that gives me a built-in audience, but I have to pay careful attention to whether or not I say too much, show too much enthusiasm, voice too strong of opinions or say things too directly. When the conversations switches to chit chat, I'm at a loss, so I don't say much and usually leave, which is awkward since I've been told that the way I shut down sometimes seems impolite. I feel most comfortable when I'm directing things, and I feel lost, detached, absent and anxious in situations where I'm not in charge.
In my personal life, I mostly avoid socializing because it's difficult, I don't pick up on social cues, and it produces anxiety since I suck at it so badly. I avoid parties like the plague, but frequently need to attend because of spouse reasons (she's a people person). A meaningful, quiet conversation about things that interest me is often nice, but it rarely happens because I'm told my mannerisms aren't inviting and that, depending on the subject, I switch from being too aggressive to being non-responsive.
