Mine was early in my employment life. It was where I found out that I was incapable of working any job that required interfacing with customers. The job started as a technician repairing stereo equipment. It was at a store that sold HiFi equipment as well as a repair shop. I worked the repair shop and absolutely loved it. Had my own workspace. Then another technician was hired.
My social anxiety started to grow, although I had no idea what social anxiety was or what my problem was. I started to feel an overwhelming anxiety that I couldn't explain or contain. My work performance started failing. Then, the boss wanted me to open the store each morning and wait on customers. My anxiety grew and grew until I finally collapsed in to a total mental breakdown. I became terrified of the customers. I started hiding so no one could see me. Very hard to explain that to my boss. I quit, without any prospect for a new job.
I finally found another job, but I learned that any job that required any interface with other people would turn into a horrifying nightmare. Whatever the job, I have to work alone with no contact with other people. With very few very brief exceptions to that rule, I finally made it through my life to a happy retirement.
That was one of those major life lessons about myself. I was always ashamed of that condition, because I did not know anyone else with that problem. Later - much later, I discovered autism and that that was me. Made me feel much better to know that was an actual condition and I wasn't totally alone with it.
What was it like?
It was like living in a terrifying nightmare horror story putting me on the tip edge of suicide.
My social anxiety started to grow, although I had no idea what social anxiety was or what my problem was. I started to feel an overwhelming anxiety that I couldn't explain or contain. My work performance started failing. Then, the boss wanted me to open the store each morning and wait on customers. My anxiety grew and grew until I finally collapsed in to a total mental breakdown. I became terrified of the customers. I started hiding so no one could see me. Very hard to explain that to my boss. I quit, without any prospect for a new job.
I finally found another job, but I learned that any job that required any interface with other people would turn into a horrifying nightmare. Whatever the job, I have to work alone with no contact with other people. With very few very brief exceptions to that rule, I finally made it through my life to a happy retirement.
That was one of those major life lessons about myself. I was always ashamed of that condition, because I did not know anyone else with that problem. Later - much later, I discovered autism and that that was me. Made me feel much better to know that was an actual condition and I wasn't totally alone with it.
What was it like?
It was like living in a terrifying nightmare horror story putting me on the tip edge of suicide.
