Autism Traits Or Individual Character Traits?

[Captain Caveman]

How does one separate them as things I once assumed to be my unique character I was surprized to find them to be autism traits. BUT what is me? What parts are me?

 

[Jumpinbare]

I wondered the same thing. I have learned things by reading other people's posts as well as some of the books available on autism.

 

[Tired Anna]

Why exactly do you want to separate autism traits from, as you call it, "your unique character" traits? What do you think you'll gain by doing that?

 

[The Pandector]

If someone asked, ‘what part of you is unique, and what part of you is simply human?’ you would have about the same chance of finding an answer.

The autism in you is you. (The lovely lady who plays with inflatable cats taught me that last month.) Trying to separate which part of you is you from which part of you is not you seems like contemplating the sound of one hand clapping.

 

[Rodafina]

@Captain Caveman

I’m not sure this way of thinking will be helpful to understanding yourself. You are just you, with all the different traits you have noticed. Each of us still has a unique response to the ways in which autism affects our lives. Some of your traits may be familiar to other autistic people, but you are still a unique being and everything about you, including autism, makes you who you are.

 

[marc_101]

It's an artificial distinction. You can't separate them. Each trait is expressed in different ways in different people. It can be counterintuitive, but think of a any concrete trait you have. It's yours in a unique way. Or think about anything, say, liking food. Most humans like food, but you have your unique way of liking food even if you could argue that many other people like similar food. It's still part of you. It's not as if you had appropriated other people's tastes.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Thats Why I do not to get diagnosed and fixed.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

How does one separate them as things I once assumed to be my unique character I was surprized to find them to be autism traits. BUT what is me? What parts are me?

The answer is "All those parts are you."

One can look at the DSM and/or have a psychologist identify specific autistic traits one has, but even so, these will vary. There is likely more neurodiversity within the autistic community than within the neurotypical community. There are all the primary genetic, anatomical, and physiological aspects that are all present within autistic individuals, but vary highly, then all the secondary psychological and cognitive traits associated with all of that, then there are all the psychiatric and learned behaviors and cognitive biases that are a result of our life experiences and how we internalized them. I might suggest here that there are 3 layers, the primary, secondary, and tertiary layers, all of which are highly variable and make us all unique, but the first two layers are more the autism.

 

[Captain Caveman]

I was a bit taken aback when I saw the results of my assessment as they were deeper into the autism side than I expected! I initially thought I was boarderline, as I had gone through life without being assessed. Always was different from most and was excluded for being so, so I learned to keep myself to myself which is what one does when in this situation so one can avoid being picked on or bullied.

But being much further onto the spectrum than one thought is an eyeopener! I am somewhat embarissed by this because those who are not on the spectrum themselves would not understand. I can't explain myself very well, as I go off on tangent after tangent and never reach the point, and besides that, putting inner feelings into thoughts is not that easy! And yet, very few people apart from those who know they are on the spectrum themselves know much about autism, as the natural thoughts of people (Including those who themselves are on the spectrum who for years didn't know) stem around the worst case senarios they see on the news. Example of this is a lady schoolteacher who didn't teach me, but when in conversation my Mum.mentioned I was on the list to be assessed said to me "You can't be autistic. You are not in a wheelchair!"

So most of us who spent most of our lives undiagnosed have really gone through some tough times but not been able to realize why!
I remember thinking to myself when failing at certain subjects at school where the teachers themselves knew I was above average intelligence and I knew that too, but for me everything was such an effort to be rewarded with the words "Must try harder" when I jolly well knew I did not have any harder left to give! Yet those who I knew were not blessed with much intelligence were doing the same lessons and getting better results and I knew they were not even trying! (Likewize in other subjects the opposite was the case where I was getting good results and they were not, but what was strange was their results were constant and did not vary too much, and mine were even up and down to the extremes in the same subject from one exam to the other!

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Looks similar to my schooling in elementary school I was still accepted by the advanced program in high school 5 years including grade thirteen all math and science courses. Even got accepted in university but decided to go to college instead. They even informed me that my family was the brightest the school has ever seen. On a math test
I would study a bit have a barely passing mark then study get a mark in the mid eighties. My issue was not wanting to study. Even on great courses no issue following the most complex subjects. just watching to fool around. Too late to effect my life. Multivariable calculus, Octonions, easy to follow.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I was a bit taken aback when I saw the results of my assessment as they were deeper into the autism side than I expected! I initially thought I was boarderline, as I had gone through life without being assessed. Always was different from most and was excluded for being so, so I learned to keep myself to myself which is what one does when in this situation so one can avoid being picked on or bullied.

But being much further onto the spectrum than one thought is an eyeopener! I am somewhat embarissed by this because those who are not on the spectrum themselves would not understand. I can't explain myself very well, as I go off on tangent after tangent and never reach the point, and besides that, putting inner feelings into thoughts is not that easy! And yet, very few people apart from those who know they are on the spectrum themselves know much about autism, as the natural thoughts of people (Including those who themselves are on the spectrum who for years didn't know) stem around the worst case senarios they see on the news. Example of this is a lady schoolteacher who didn't teach me, but when in conversation my Mum.mentioned I was on the list to be assessed said to me "You can't be autistic. You are not in a wheelchair!"

So most of us who spent most of our lives undiagnosed have really gone through some tough times but not been able to realize why!
I remember thinking to myself when failing at certain subjects at school where the teachers themselves knew I was above average intelligence and I knew that too, but for me everything was such an effort to be rewarded with the words "Must try harder" when I jolly well knew I did not have any harder left to give! Yet those who I knew were not blessed with much intelligence were doing the same lessons and getting better results and I knew they were not even trying! (Likewize in other subjects the opposite was the case where I was getting good results and they were not, but what was strange was their results were constant and did not vary too much, and mine were even up and down to the extremes in the same subject from one exam to the other!

Sort of my experience, as well. My wife was not a believer initially and even after a few months after my diagnosis, she said to me that I wasn't THAT autistic. Of course, all my test results put me on the rather extreme end of the autism spectrum. All I can figure is that when most people think of autism, they want to imagine a severely debilitated child, not an adult, let alone one that is of normal to high intelligence. I am of the mind, the more intelligent one is, the more likely that we find ways to adapt and overcome, as well as self-consciously hide our autistic traits. I don't know, I mean, I am very conscious of my autistic traits and it's very obvious to me, but I don't think others around me are so perceptive nor can put my behaviors into an autism context.

My wife has turned around in her thinking, but it took a long time to settle into her mind.

 

[jsilver256]

Sort of my experience, as well. My wife was not a believer initially and even after a few months after my diagnosis, she said to me that I wasn't THAT autistic. Of course, all my test results put me on the rather extreme end of the autism spectrum. All I can figure is that when most people think of autism, they want to imagine a severely debilitated child, not an adult, let alone one that is of normal to high intelligence. I am of the mind, the more intelligent one is, the more likely that we find ways to adapt and overcome, as well as self-consciously hide our autistic traits. I don't know, I mean, I am very conscious of my autistic traits and it's very obvious to me, but I don't think others around me are so perceptive nor can put my behaviors into an autism context.

My wife has turned around in her thinking, but it took a long time to settle into her mind.

My scores are very similar to yours in the tagline. I used to blame everything on being deaf. Now I don't know what's deaf and what's autism. It is what it is.

 

[Au Naturel]

How does one separate them as things I once assumed to be my unique character I was surprized to find them to be autism traits. BUT what is me? What parts are me?

No single trait is unique to autism - or NOT autism. Autism is a collection of traits that frequently appear together. Not all autistic people have identical collections. If you have met one autistic person, you have met one autistic person. the next may be different.

All the traits you have, autistic and otherwise, are you.

 

[Misty Avich]

ASD is just a small part of me and I know that if I was to be cured it probably wouldn't change me much. It'd just leave me with the anxiety and ADHD, which are more of what makes up who I am. But despite ASD only being a small part of me it's still inconvenient enough and I wish I didn't have it. I think it's unfair that there are medications for anxiety and ADHD but not for autism. It's like autism is this incurable disease that we just have to live with. Admittedly I could live without the anxiety but I feel that the ADHD makes me who I am and kind of masks the ASD. So that is why I refuse to take ADHD medication.