'Autism isn't an excuse'

[Princess Viola]

Anyone else hate that phrase?

I do get that it can be annoying when someone blames every single one of their personal problems on their autism but for most of us, we're not using our autism as an excuse, we're using it as an explanation for why we have difficulties with certain things.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

A lack of empathy.

Most people are concerned with "conformity and sameness" as it is perceived as predictable and orderly, even safe. Whenever they are confronted with something "different" they are likely to react with negativity. At that point, they don't want "excuses" for something that they were expecting, but didn't receive. They simply want you to conform with the "norm", whatever that is in that situation.

 

[Judge]

I have a cousin who seems to relish reflecting this point of view. Prepared to say it about much anyone who truly is "different" in some way. As if anyone out of the mainstream is automatically seeking some kind of entitlement.

 

[lunarious]

A lack of empathy.

Most people are concerned with "conformity and sameness" as it is perceived as predictable and orderly, even safe. Whenever they are confronted with something "different" they are likely to react with negativity. At that point, they don't want "excuses" for something that they were expecting, but didn't receive. They simply want you to conform with the "norm", whatever that is in that situation.

I want to understand. What do people expect? Give an example.

 

[Cryptid]

I use the term "Autism is not an excuse" in the context of criminal behavior. Autism should never be used (or attempted to be used) as a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card by defense lawyers, the news media, the accused, or supporters of the accused, especially in cases of murder, rape, and the abuse of spouses, children, or pets.

 

[Seladon]

A lack of empathy.

Most people are concerned with "conformity and sameness" as it is perceived as predictable and orderly, even safe. Whenever they are confronted with something "different" they are likely to react with negativity. At that point, they don't want "excuses" for something that they were expecting, but didn't receive. They simply want you to conform with the "norm", whatever that is in that situation.

This is so true. Bootstrapping (an oxymoron, remember!) at its finest.

It's dr0ne rhetoric for, "you didn't do what we the Hive wanted and needed to keep our machines running, and that makes us upset, so we shall punish you with scorn."

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Anyone else hate that phrase?

I do get that it can be annoying when someone blames every single one of their personal problems on their autism but for most of us, we're not using our autism as an excuse, we're using it as an explanation for why we have difficulties with certain things.

In my case it explained a lot not diagnosed so no excuses. Just thought it was bad luck out of my control that had to be overcome. Changed positions and companies and took courses to upgrade perceived weaknesses. Must admit I got really good at my area of expertise prepainting, post painting along with plastic substrate different metallic substrates and a variety of coatings and treatments.

 

[Xinyta]

A lack of empathy.

Most people are concerned with "conformity and sameness" as it is perceived as predictable and orderly, even safe. Whenever they are confronted with something "different" they are likely to react with negativity. At that point, they don't want "excuses" for something that they were expecting, but didn't receive. They simply want you to conform with the "norm", whatever that is in that situation.

This is quite true. Though there is the other side of the coin. Where people who are supposedly deliberately spitting on the precious 'norms' of NTs, are psychopaths, sociopaths, or mentally deficient in some way and 'deserve to be institutionalized' for being themselves.

Autism isn't a mental illness. Autism isn't something that needs to be cured. It's a neurological condition or more of a different neurological wiring, that happens to differ from NTs. Nothing more. Nothing less.

 

[lunarious]

This is quite true. Though there is the other side of the coin. Where people who are supposedly deliberately spitting on the precious 'norms' of NTs, are psychopaths, sociopaths, or mentally deficient in some way and 'deserve to be institutionalized' for being themselves.

Autism isn't a mental illness. Autism isn't something that needs to be cured. It's a neurological condition or more of a different neurological wiring, that happens to differ from NTs. Nothing more. Nothing less.

That's why .. i had controversial ideas on rape.

 

[Misty Avich]

Yes, I often get accused of using my ADHD as an excuse when I hardly ever do that. I do use it in some explanations of some of my impulsive behaviours but if I'm in a difficult situation or in trouble or something I don't use my ADHD as a way of wrangling myself out of it. I hate when people tell me that I use ADHD as an excuse that I can't do things or something. ADHD doesn't stop me from doing anything but it can make some things difficult for me. If ADHD wasn't the reason I struggle with some things in life then I wouldn't even have it, would I?

 

[MNAus]

Anyone else hate that phrase?

I do get that it can be annoying when someone blames every single one of their personal problems on their autism but for most of us, we're not using our autism as an excuse, we're using it as an explanation for why we have difficulties with certain things.

I rarely hear that as a spoken thought, but I do encounter it as an attitude very often: i.e. an internalised "OK, you have autism, that's something that needs work so you can fit in with the world". Underlying this is the presumption that the 'world' (actually the preferences and choices of a bunch of neurotypical people) is immutable and somehow the natural order of things, as an elephant is born with a trunk. It's not, of course, it's a choice. People can choose to set up the workplace however they see fit, for example. They just choose to make it like a soap opera, where it's not what you know it's who you know, where team building means gossiping, where promotion is based on small talk rather than performance, where success comes easier to those who act the same way. All a choice.

My feeling is "Given so many of the technological advances you enjoy as a modern human were made by people with autism, what's YOUR excuse for not being autistic?"

 

[The Pandector]

I want to understand. What do people expect? Give an example.

I’ll let @Neonatal RRT answer for himself, but have been working on this exact issue for awhile.

Relationships are something like animal mating rituals. There’s no real requirement that the dance be performed just so, except that that’s the way the dance is performed. A misstep turns the hopeful dance partner off faster than spinach in your teeth.

Using myself as example…
I am attracted to a person, talk and try to draw the other person out. They respond with something of the same. The dance has begun - they start sizing me up. Everyone knows not to talk politics with a stranger, but in the heat of trying to overcome severe anxiety, I say something knowingly; my faux pas is given a pass as my opposite tries to draw a click on their favorite yak subject. But I’m tensing because I realize I messed up, try to downplay my political views by bringing up religion, which has nothing to do with their interest. They’re trying to dance a minuet while I’m doing the monster mash. They decide I’m not a candidate and move on. My heart is broken for the ten thousandth time and I spend hours or days recriminating over the loss.

That was fifty years ago. Now I don’t often try to engage people. This time, my heart is not breaking because I don’t expect anything. Of course I’ve learned some important lessons, but I no longer care enough to put myself through the ritual. Unfortunately, sometimes some tragically misguided human tries to start the dance with me. I don’t know what they want out of me, but I know I won’t figure it out before they get bored or offended. Good intentions are worth free advice.

I’m thinking of having a t-shirt printed: ‘I won’t talk politics and religion if you won’t talk sports. Wanna hear about the book I wrote?’ That ought to do the trick.

 

[lunarious]

Recently i thought that ... Moderation as in this forum is to keep things balanced. We're not supposed to go to extremes.

Humans without Autism are not extreme, but what value do they add to society?

 

[MNAus]

Recently i thought that ... Moderation as in this forum is to keep things balanced. We're not supposed to go to extremes.

Humans without Autism are not extreme, but what value do they add to society?

I'm of the opinion that we (as humans) don't need to earn a right to exist. NTs add whatever NTs add. If that's wearing a pair of sparkly shoes one evening, or happening to be good at playing Tetris, then that's fine too IMHO. I guess my point was more trying to flip the picture whereby it's assumed NDs have a lack that requires compensating. I don't think autistic people are better - the measuring sticks for better or worse are all imaginary human constructs either way - I just don't like the presumption that neurotypical means neurocorrect.

 

[lunarious]

.... sadly Humans need a right to exist. I myself have "earned" to migrate to the West, through USA.

 

[MNAus]

.... sadly Humans need a right to exist. I myself have "earned" to migrate to the West, through USA.

UDHR:

Article 3​

Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.

 

[Cryptid]

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." -- The second paragraph of the first article in the Declaration of Independence, adopted by the Committee of the Whole of the Second Continental Congress on July 4, 1776.

 

[Alexej]

I agree that it is possible to use autism as an excuse. However, when is it telling it as it is - "I just don't get what you are feeling" due to a lack of empathy, and using it as an excuse. I sense that there is a fine line which has to do with motivation. I might try as best as I can to "get" what the other is saying but I just can't do it

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Anyone else hate that phrase?

I do get that it can be annoying when someone blames every single one of their personal problems on their autism but for most of us, we're not using our autism as an excuse, we're using it as an explanation for why we have difficulties with certain things.

Yes in the first place being ADHD or having autism does not mean you cannot do anything or that you have extreme limitations unless you are very low functioning.
I believe if you function ok you can do everything just with some difficulties.

 

[The Pandector]

Recently i thought that ... Moderation as in this forum is to keep things balanced. We're not supposed to go to extremes.

Humans without Autism are not extreme, but what value do they add to society?

The right to exist is the fundamental principle, though even that can be abrogated rightfully. As a Christian, I have no doubt that every person has purpose and therefore value. Maybe we should separate that issue from a cohort’s value to society.

Though undiagnosed, I was the hardware guru of a major electronics installation. Can’t say I can look back and see many autism candidates around me then. At least half the programming staff were Strong candidates, from the country’s top universities. We were all cutting edge and innovation was what they were after.

People, in general, are sheep, well adapted to identifying and emulating social norms. This is wonderful in that, as a race, we naturally cooperate. But it has the drawback of stifling original and even creative thought, which tend to cause disruption. Disruption Bad; Very Bad.

To counteract this dangerous tendency to set up like concrete, our gene pool includes these types who are genetically unlikely to notice social norms And averse to being shoehorned into strategies inappropriate to their breed. In his wisdom, God also included in this group an inordinate number of both high- and low-intelligence individuals.

As disgustingly as it was pointed out in Brave New World, society needs high and low intelligence, needs both the unquestioning drone and the rule breaking visionary.