• Feeling isolated? You're not alone.

    Join 20,000+ people who understand exactly how your day went. Whether you're newly diagnosed, self-identified, or supporting someone you love – this is a space where you don't have to explain yourself.

    Join the Conversation → It's free, anonymous, and supportive.

    As a member, you'll get:

    • A community that actually gets it – no judgment, no explanations needed
    • Private forums for sensitive topics (hidden from search engines)
    • Real-time chat with others who share your experiences
    • Your own blog to document your journey

    You've found your people. Create your free account

Asperger's or Not--On Gift-Giving Skills...

mina

mina

Member
(NT or Aspie) Whether it's an anniversary, a holiday , a birthday , Valentine's day etc., Are you a good gift-giver? Or do you suck? Just curious.
 
Ehm... I tend to just give money so probably really bad xD

Otherwise I chip in and give money to other people so we can buy one big gift, like a bottle of Whisky or something.

I generally don't even know what kind of gift I want actually

I'm an Aspie and I'm bad at giving gifts (almost sounds like I'm at an AA meeting)
 
I suck at remembering but when I do, I consider myself above average. I always try to give something fun and thoughtful.
 
mina said:
"AA Meeting" LOL.

Do you expect, or can you tell when people give you crappy gifts?
Click to expand...
Well my friend group exists of two people so they usually buy a bottle of liquor together which is always nice and family just always gives a card and money.

If people ask I generally ask for money anyway, gifts tend to be crap and even when they are thoughtful they tend to disappear somewhere in a cabinet no never see the light of day again. Feel like that makes a waste of money for them as well and money always comes in handy. Rather end up with 50 bucks to buy myself something i generally like then to have 50 bucks worth of random items
 
I'm very good at giving what I think are excellent gifts. However I suppose that doesn't mean the gifts I give are excellent at all. What I can't stand is dealing with the politeness around giving and receiving gifts. Maybe it's not that I can't stand the politeness but I don't feel good dealing with it. I'd rather they either get the gift away from me or if I'm there just accept it and move on. Same with when I reciev3 a gift... I'd rather just not receive a gift than try to express gratitude. Not that I'm not grateful but even saying thanks be so weird and hard. I have no idea why.
 
I feel that I am a great and thoughtful gift giver on most occasions, as long as the person I am buying it for is someone I truly cherish. If it is just out of "politeness" like someone else mentioned, I suck. I end up settling on giving a gift card. But I hate giving those too! When you go for a gift card, anything under say $40-50 seems cheap (no?). An an some people are just not worth my hard earned $50! Ha!
 
What do you all think about failing at gift giving on special occasions, but being an excellent life partner and doing little things here and there throughout the year? Which is better? Especially for you girls, what do you appreciate your significant other doing most? Do you get bothered if that person is lazy and doesn't get you anything at all?
 
mina said:
I feel that I am a great and thoughtful gift giver on most occasions, as long as the person I am buying it for is someone I truly cherish. If it is just out of "politeness" like someone else mentioned, I suck. I end up settling on giving a gift card. But I hate giving those too! When you go for a gift card, anything under say $40-50 seems cheap (no?). An an some people are just not worth my hard earned $50! Ha!
Click to expand...
For something like a birthday I wouldn't spend more as €10 but that is kinda the normal amount of money you give over here (stuff like weddings and special anniversaries are more ofcourse)

40-50 bucks sounds like it would get incredibly expensive really fast, might be a cultural difference or something?
 
I hardly ever know what to buy a person if they don't tell me specific things they want or the kinds of things they like, even if I feel I know them pretty well. In recent years I've been letting my brothers decide what to get my parents and each other and we've been all going in on it.
 
I'm really crap at giving gifts, so I usually give gift cards or money. We make our own wine, and a bottle of that makes a good gift too. I also struggle with the often fake politeness that goes with gift giving, and I struggle especially with smiling and pretending enthusiasm when someone gives me something that really shows that they don't know me at all, like a bottle of perfume or a handbag. I usually just smile and say thank you.

With my partner we rarely exchange gift. I guess these things aren't important to us in the same way as they seem to be to other people.

People often give gift out of social obligation, not because they really want to or care, and I resent this. I'd rather people didn't give gifts at all for special occasions, but just gave gifts whenever they felt like it. As a kid, I liked receiving presents, but as an adult I see things differently.
 
Every now and then I have a thoughtful gift, but usually I flounder. I'm far worse at card-writing, so that's no compensation.
 
I cared a lot about gifts when I was a kid. Nowadays, though, I don't even tell people my birthday. I don't think of getting people gifts and I don't want to receive them. I don't think it's an aspie issue. I just try to distance myself from possessions for philosophical reasons, as well as the practical purpose of having less clutter (something I've always been vulnerable to)
 
I stink at giving gifts because I really never know what to get.

I've even told my wife that regarding gifts, subtle hints don't work; direct hints don't work. Tell me exactly what you want and I will make sure that I get it.
 
Gift giving is often pretty simple with me, with close friends I am pretty vocal on what I like and with them, I just ask.
I always have been all right at gift giving.
Don't do it too often but still.
 
I'm usually good, I don't buy something unless I think they'll really like it, otherwise I'll do a card/gift card combo. No sense wasting my time looking for something generic and then they either are stuck with it or have to return. Last year I made everything, and this year it looks like I will too. I started in July so everything will be done!
 
I've been told I'm unusually good at gift-giving, but it's only because anyone who merits a gift from me has been loved, in some sense, and love suffers no secrets: under a loving eye, anything may be revealed, and the little things that are roll into a better-than-average long-term memory (as many aspies have).

So if I know you like something in April, I'll find out if you've acquired it by October, and then birthday/Hanukkah/Christmas/Kwanzaa/national holiday happens. I look like a genius, but it's only because I take notes. And that means I don't confuse what you like with what I'd like.
 
ASD_Geek said:
I stink at giving gifts because I really never know what to get.

I've even told my wife that regarding gifts, subtle hints don't work; direct hints don't work. Tell me exactly what you want and I will make sure that I get it.
Click to expand...
You are too funny! But real! You sound like my bf!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom