Anyone else have trouble with people looking after their home?

[Suzanne]

Once a year, my husband insists on having someone take care of our home, for at least 5 days and I hate it with a passion. Because we have animals ( his choice).

The thought of someone else using my kitchen is just awful. I have everything just right and I hyperventilate at the thought of things being put in the wrong draws and cupboards or my clothes being misused; even hate it when my husband does the same!

He has come up with a suggestion and so, I have to just accept it and that is: This couple ( they are Jehovah's Witnesses, but we have never met them; they were recommended to us, via a friend because they live in Paris, in not such a nice area and thus, this is also a holiday for them). Well, they are going to be with us for at least 2 day's before we go to Paris ( our annual 3 day assembly - and panicking about that because my husband casually announced that he will be offering his help - sadly, I cannot due to panicking too much) and thus, have to cope on my own and I can tell you, as stupid as it is, I am already frightened of that thought!

So, because this couple are staying for two days before we go, it means that I will cook on one of those days and make sure, one of the couple is in the kitchen, so that they see that I clean my oven after each time.

I must admit that I am having mini meltdowns because of this and worse still, once our assembly is over, we have to occupy ourselves for a couple of days. My husband is not an explorer and so, we are extremely limited in what to do. Every time I suggest something, he moans and thus, lol not much of a wedding anniversary! Yep, we will be married for 24 years, next Friday and it happens to be the first day of our assembly ( both are thrilled with that).

 

[Aspieistj]

When you describe yourself, you sound more OCD than Aspie to me. I guess we express our difficulties in various ways.

 

[watersprite]

Try: FlyLady.net

 

[Beverly]

I don't mind, but I've had hired staff looking after my home more than I have done it myself. I've only been able to do it myself the last 8 years steady. I was on tour seven to nine months of the year, and one year 11 months on tour (that one was tough on all of us).

My staff knew how I liked things. I made that very clear in my written instructions (Usually in Spanish, French and, English because I was never certain who the staffing firm would send to my home. I knew they would be screened and have background checks ran before they were sent so, that was enough.

Insurance would cover anything they accidentally damaged, and stealing would have resulted in prosecution form both the staffing company and myself. I informed my staff that I did not care what they did, even if they had a party in my house so long as when I returned nothing was missing, destroyed or out of place and, everything was as I specified it should be.

 

[Suzanne]

When you describe yourself, you sound more OCD than Aspie to me. I guess we express our difficulties in various ways.

No, I am not OCD because I looked this up and yes, I do have certain habits, as you have ascertained from my thread, but on the whole, they are pretty minor, to what an OCD suffer from and interesting to note, but many were wrongly diagnosed with this, but only to find out they are an aspie!

Since joining this site, I have come to see that spectrum is for a reason and: meet one aspie, you meet - one aspie.

I would like nothing more actually, not have aspergers, but sadly, that is not going to happen and so, I try to embrace it!

 

[Progster]

I'm hopeless at keeping on top of the household chores for many different reasons - I find it hard to deal with many things at once, I'm easily distracted and if I find something more interesting to do, then I will do that instead and forget to do the housework - I procrastinate. If I don't like something and I'm not interested, it's very hard to find the motivation to do it. Some people place way too much importance on cleaning, and I get the impression that it's more about making an impression on others than keeping their home clean for hygiene reasons. Some people's homes look more like museums than homes occupied by people who live in them. I always feel uncomfortable in that kind of home. Does it really matter if there's a bit of dust on a surface or a small splatter of coffee? Do people really care that much about such superficial things? My house may be a bit messy and I rarely iron my clothes, but I manage to do what is necessary to keep it hygienic.

When I was working full time, I had someone come and clean once every two weeks, because I couldn't cope with both working and doing all the household chores. It helped a lot, but I always felt uncomfortable when she was around, not so much because I was afraid that she would misplace my things - she was very respectful of my belongings and always put them back where she found them (though she did have one or two habits that really bugged me, like never putting the glass microwave tray properly in its place grrrr), but because I wanted my solitude. I resented the intrusion into my private space. It made me feel unbelievably tense and agitated, I couldn't relax. I used to plan the day so I'd go out shopping whenever she was there, something that I'd have to do some time during the week anyway.

 

[Suzanne]

I don't mind, but I've had hired staff looking after my home more than I have done it myself. I've only been able to do it myself the last 8 years steady. I was on tour seven to nine months of the year, and one year 11 months on tour (that one was tough on all of us).

My staff knew how I liked things. I made that very clear in my written instructions (Usually in Spanish, French and, English because I was never certain who the staffing firm would send to my home. I knew they would be screened and have background checks ran before they were sent so, that was enough.

Insurance would cover anything they accidentally damaged, and stealing would have resulted in prosecution form both the staffing company and myself. I informed my staff that I did not care what they did, even if they had a party in my house so long as when I returned nothing was missing, destroyed or out of place and, everything was as I specified it should be.

But your situation is different, because I have actually no choice but do things on my own! I personall

I'm hopeless at keeping on top of the household chores for many different reasons - I find it hard to deal with many things at once, I'm easily distracted and if I find something more interesting to do, then I will do that instead and forget to do the housework - I procrastinate. If I don't like something and I'm not interested, it's very hard to find the motivation to do it. Some people place way too much importance on cleaning, and I get the impression that it's more about making an impression on others than keeping their home clean for hygiene reasons. Some people's homes look more like museums than homes occupied by people who live in them. I always feel uncomfortable in that kind of home. Does it really matter if there's a bit of dust on a surface or a small splatter of coffee? Do people really care that much about such superficial things? My house may be a bit messy and I rarely iron my clothes, but I manage to do what is necessary to keep it hygienic.

When I was working full time, I had someone come and clean once every two weeks, because I couldn't cope with both working and doing all the household chores. It helped a lot, but I always felt uncomfortable when she was around, not so much because I was afraid that she would misplace my things - she was very respectful of my belongings and always put them back where she found them (though she did have one or two habits that really bugged me, like never putting the glass microwave tray properly in its place grrrr), but because I wanted my solitude. I resented the intrusion into my private space. It made me feel unbelievably tense and agitated, I couldn't relax. I used to plan the day so I'd go out shopping whenever she was there, something that I'd have to do some time during the week anyway.

My childhood has a lot to do with me wanting a clean home and then, I have a husband who is extremely fastidious and does like to say: I have just done your job for you ie dusting something, for I must confess, dusting is WAY down on my list of things to do!

I suspect you would love our home for it is certainly not like a museum lol but is clean; many have said it is a peaceful house and very comfortable and that is because it is LIVED in.

It is more my peace of mind is worth, to not put housework first, which is fair, because my husband does work very hard and so, naturally, wants to return home to a clean environment.

I just have my habits because if I didn't, I would find it all very overwhelming too!

 

[Beverly]

Still, my situation required allowing strangers to manage and tend my home while I was not able to be there. My point was, and I probably didn't make it very well, that when you need to do that, you need to try to let go of the worry over how your home will be each day and, take steps to insure it will be the way you like it when you return.

 

[Suzanne]

Still, my situation required allowing strangers to manage and tend my home while I was not able to be there. My point was, and I probably didn't make it very well, that when you need to do that, you need to try to let go of the worry over how your home will be each day and, take steps to insure it will be the way you like it when you return.

Oh I do! Since this happens every single year lol once I am out of the house and on my way and enjoying myself, I will be able to close my "eyes" to the horrors I will return to.

 

[Judge]

Good answer about OCD, Suzanne.

I DO have OCD. Your concerns are not an option for me. Not even a possibility.

I must admit, on occasion I do wonder if my OCD issues are more central as to why I am alone and without a significant other as opposed to concerns about being on the spectrum of autism.

 

[Peeta]

I don't so much have a problem with people staying in my house (though it does bug me a bit) than having them sleep in my bed. To me that's just horrible. I was once out of town for a few weeks and the same day I had left, my cousin was stranded near my parents house (I lived with them at the time) due to heavy snowfall. She ended up sleeping in my bed, cause obviously you don't let her sleep on the floor. But when I heard about it, I got really pissed. Even though I know it's silly.

This works the other way around too. I'm house sitting next week and I don't want to sleep in the beds that are there. I will be bringing my own blankets and pillows and sheets. Weirdly enough, I'm fine with hotel beds. I guess it's a territory thing.