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Anyone else feel like this every day? I do
- Thread starter AspieOtaku
- Start date
AspieOtaku
Leader of the otaku legion!
Followed by
With fighting suicidal thoughts. Wrong Planet noticed it but did not care and banned me and I still feel this way at times but keep fighting it to this day!
AspieOtaku
Leader of the otaku legion!
I have been hurting for years, I want to fall in love again but am afraid but also afraid of being alone and hurting, I dont know what to do, Wrong planet did not care and I hope this place could provide help because I am scared and hurting inside! I don't want to die alone of old age and want to raise a family and have company, but it seems impossible I am very lonely and sad and scared.
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AspieOtaku
Leader of the otaku legion!
I have issues trusting anyone these days, I was in an abusive relationship and was abused for years. But on the flipside dont want to be lonely so confused and scared and unsure what to do.
Best to you.
Suggest forget and move on after abuse and after wp experience. Everything worthwhile entails risk.
~k
Suggest forget and move on after abuse and after wp experience. Everything worthwhile entails risk.
~k
AspieOtaku
Leader of the otaku legion!
Thanks, I want to start a family and be happy and what good would I be for my kids and wife if I am dead? I want to fall in love again and make this happen. Excuse me while I go afk and cry abit too much emotional stuff going on right now! Dont laugh at me crying but at the same time I dont blame you! I just need to let my feelings out, I am hurting alot and am so alone and scared!
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AspieOtaku
Leader of the otaku legion!
Ill need to put up a barrier around my heart so I am no longer hurt, I am keeping it on guard at all times! AN adementium barrier laced with diamond!
Datura
Well-Known Member
Why would anyone laugh at your pain. We are a support forum and are supposed to be here for each other. We have all suffered, so I hope we would have more empathy than that.
Agoraphobia is pretty terrible. The only thing I can suggest is to put less pressure on yourself. A little apathy can go a long way. So those people over there are looking at you funny? Who cares? They are nobody.
It's easier said than done, but it helps.
Also; the more positive experiences you have while out in the world the easier it will become to go out when you need to. I have spent the last year forcing myself to get out as much as possible and it really has improved my tolerances. Then again, I might have been overdoing it a little which has lead to some meltdowns, but ultimately I think it's for the the best if I am to function.
As for having a family; it is nice to have goals. It isn't so nice when attachment to those goals causes you pain. Something I have been learning is that you need to accept that you may never get the things that you want, and that is okay. This is not to say you cannot have goals and work toward them, just that it is healthier not to be so concerned with the outcome. Predicting, at this point in your life, that you will never have a relationship or make a familly is rather premature as well. If you think it is so it may well become a self fulfilling prophecy, but do not give up hope. We cannot know what is in other peoples minds, or what fortunes might befall us, we can only work with what we are given.
If we predict failure then we are bound to pass up the genuine opportunities that come our way. The negative experiences of the past can taint our perception of the future, but having learned from those experiences we can make better choices going forward.
Agoraphobia is pretty terrible. The only thing I can suggest is to put less pressure on yourself. A little apathy can go a long way. So those people over there are looking at you funny? Who cares? They are nobody.
It's easier said than done, but it helps.
Also; the more positive experiences you have while out in the world the easier it will become to go out when you need to. I have spent the last year forcing myself to get out as much as possible and it really has improved my tolerances. Then again, I might have been overdoing it a little which has lead to some meltdowns, but ultimately I think it's for the the best if I am to function.
As for having a family; it is nice to have goals. It isn't so nice when attachment to those goals causes you pain. Something I have been learning is that you need to accept that you may never get the things that you want, and that is okay. This is not to say you cannot have goals and work toward them, just that it is healthier not to be so concerned with the outcome. Predicting, at this point in your life, that you will never have a relationship or make a familly is rather premature as well. If you think it is so it may well become a self fulfilling prophecy, but do not give up hope. We cannot know what is in other peoples minds, or what fortunes might befall us, we can only work with what we are given.
If we predict failure then we are bound to pass up the genuine opportunities that come our way. The negative experiences of the past can taint our perception of the future, but having learned from those experiences we can make better choices going forward.
Yes, I feel much the same. I'd like to get a girl friend but there's a lot of things in the way of that. I struggle with agoraphobia-like symptoms of anxiety; going out to places on my own is a stressful task. I just don't think I'd be much fun to be around as a partner in my current state. It also doesn't help that I think I'm asexual .
Having said all that though, I don't want to think of myself as a slave to my biology. I don't necessarily want to follow the mate, spawn and die routine of life to a tee. I want to do things in my own time, that is the one thing I have, time. So why rush it like so many people of my generation, getting married and having kids at the age of 25? Yeah, I have problems like not being about to get out of the house regularly but that's transient, it's not going to last forever. Not while me taking steps to change that. And yes, I won't look back at my twenties thinking I was living it up like all my peers were but that's fine too, it'll only make me appreciate my maturity more and the time I will be given once this has all blown over.
So what I'm trying to say is you really shouldn't worry. These things will come when you're ready, you'll make your moves in your own time. In the meantime, just try to improve yourself and get better.
Having said all that though, I don't want to think of myself as a slave to my biology. I don't necessarily want to follow the mate, spawn and die routine of life to a tee. I want to do things in my own time, that is the one thing I have, time. So why rush it like so many people of my generation, getting married and having kids at the age of 25? Yeah, I have problems like not being about to get out of the house regularly but that's transient, it's not going to last forever. Not while me taking steps to change that. And yes, I won't look back at my twenties thinking I was living it up like all my peers were but that's fine too, it'll only make me appreciate my maturity more and the time I will be given once this has all blown over.
So what I'm trying to say is you really shouldn't worry. These things will come when you're ready, you'll make your moves in your own time. In the meantime, just try to improve yourself and get better.
Cali Cat
Femme Ferale
I used to feel similarly, though I never wanted a family ... too much responsibility and potential for greater problems.
I got counseling and started taking medications for depression and anxiety. It has helped a lot, but it takes time and a willingness to go through all the changes of meds until you find the combination that works. Also, there are side effects that have to be tolerated sometimes. All in all, though, it's helped me more than it's hurt me, so I'm satisfied with the results.
Falling in love and having a relationship, and even a family, are worthy goals, but they require that you work on yourself first. Maybe find a doctor who can prescribe meds and a counselor to talk to about your thoughts and feelings.
It's not easy to get out of that dark place, but it is worth the effort. When you manage your issues properly, everything else is possible. It still won't be perfect, but it will be possible.
All the best to you ...
I got counseling and started taking medications for depression and anxiety. It has helped a lot, but it takes time and a willingness to go through all the changes of meds until you find the combination that works. Also, there are side effects that have to be tolerated sometimes. All in all, though, it's helped me more than it's hurt me, so I'm satisfied with the results.
Falling in love and having a relationship, and even a family, are worthy goals, but they require that you work on yourself first. Maybe find a doctor who can prescribe meds and a counselor to talk to about your thoughts and feelings.
It's not easy to get out of that dark place, but it is worth the effort. When you manage your issues properly, everything else is possible. It still won't be perfect, but it will be possible.
All the best to you ...
AspieOtaku
Leader of the otaku legion!
Well as I leave to work every day I put on my headphones and it has helped a great deal, but at times I still feel paranoid of my surroundings. I do leave the house, but only when I need to like work or getting food. I feel someone is going to judge and ridicule me, this has gone on since highschool! But thank goodness for music and drowning things out as an adaptation method, my getting over my abusive relationship trauma is a whole different issue. I don't trust anyone anymore except close friends and family, my friend circle is rather small, in the end I feel like a wild animal surrounded by humans!
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I think many NTs also struggle with social situations.
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- Replies: 14
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