Any way I can be a happier person?

[Hypnalis]

So it's my fault for being ignored and what I did is inappropriate even though I did nothing wrong.

If you did nothing wrong in the last week or two, correct me.

I interpreted what you said as meaning that you complained to your yoga teacher about not finding a romantic partner. This, if it happened, was a bad idea.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

If you did nothing wrong in the last week or two, correct me.

I interpreted what you said as meaning that you complained to your yoga teacher about not finding a romantic partner. This, if it happened, was a bad idea.

She already figured it out.

 

[Hypnalis]

She already figured it out.

I'm not 100% certain what this means, but if it's confirmation, that's enough. The details aren't important.

The point is that it might be something you can avoid in future. Aspies can learn Anger Management and general social skills such as, e.g. what things should never be said, and why.

You may not see it this way, but you absolutely must learn such things if you want real progress towards your objective.

 

[Kalinychta]

good job cheering me up.

As far as I can tell, the most pressing skill you need to learn is how to comfort yourself. You expect a girlfriend to do it, and you expect people on a forum to do it. You’ll need to learn it on your own.

 

[Cryptid]

@Kalinychta
Agreed. Happiness come from within, not from others.

 

[Hypnalis]

@Tony Ramirez

Is your therapist male? Have you ever had a male therapist?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Two married people called me up one woman a new mother and a man cheered me up a bit when I texted the life group that I did not want to live thanks to the advice here and from Justin today at the gym. Also seeing couples at the park and on the sidewalks. The single woman from the group, crickets don't give a damn to even respond to my text or anything. Typical.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

@Tony Ramirez

Is your therapist male? Have you ever had a male therapist?

Therapist is a woman. I request it. My medical doctor is a male and married. I had a male therapist for years. He was married and I hated going to him. He retired. I got a woman but she was busy but now I get yearly interns which I request women.

 

[Kalinychta]

Single woman, crickets don't give a damn to even respond to my text or anything. Typical.

Is there a reason you believe she should feel obligated to give a damn? Why is it that you feel single women owe you? I wouldn’t respond to you either. I learned a long time ago to not give some men any attention (usually I won’t even say hello), because the second I do, they latch on like desperate octopuses, and it’s very awkward and uncomfortable to try to find a kind way to let them know that I’m not interested. I would bet that the women who avoid you know exactly what I’m talking about here.

But you don’t want to hear stuff like this, because it would require you to change your behavior, and you seem very unwilling to do that.

 

[Hypnalis]

... to live thanks to the advice here and from Justin today at the gym

Not part of the main discussion, but I'd advise against using this technique.

I know it's not uncommon in general, and that it occurs here. But it has an effect you may not be sensitive to: some people will show sympathy, but others will view it as manipulation (it is - it even has a wikipedia page), and avoid anyone who uses it on them.

Note that I don't care about the details of your current life as such. I'm just a stranger on the internet, and I'm immune to that kind of thing even IRL.

But ongoing, you should be working on inclusion rather than on exclusion. There are much better ways to reach out for sympathy and/or support.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Is there a reason you believe she should feel obligated to give a damn? Why is it that you feel single women owe you? I wouldn’t respond to you either. I learned a long time ago to not give some men any attention (usually I won’t even say hello), because the second I do, they latch on like desperate octopuses, and it’s very awkward and uncomfortable to try to find a kind way to let them know that I’m not interested. I would bet that the women who avoid you know exactly what I’m talking about here.

But you don’t want to hear stuff like this, because it would require you to change your behavior, and you seem very unwilling to do that.

You sound just like Justin giving me the same old she should feel obligated and single women owe you? I am tired of hearing it. Taking her side always and making me the predator and bad guy. I can't be happy.

 

[Kalinychta]

You sound just like Justin giving me the same old she should feel obligated and single women owe you? I am tired of hearing it. Taking her side always and making me the predator and bad guy. I can't be happy.

So if dozens of people give you the same advice and make the same observations, doesn’t it stand to reason that you’re the one who’s wrong about the way you think/behave? I’m telling you, every woman I know avoids men like you like the plague.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I know avoids men like you like the plague.

They already do that when I just walk in the room.

 

[Hypnalis]

@Tony Ramirez

I know it's a lot of posts, but don't take this as dogpiling ...

... the things I've been saying (actually going back a long way) have been specifically intended to help you avoid or mitigate the kind of reaction @Kalinychta described.
Without much progress of course, but that doesn't change my objective

The most unproductive thing anyone can do socially is to drive other people away by their attitudes and/or actions.
If you learn what has that effect and why, you will be better off.

But a reminder - my recommendation (in an earlier post) is to learn to have honest casual social interactions for women, and "practice" it for at least a year before even thinking about romantic interactions.
There is no sure or certain path you can follow. But continuous improvement is like compound interest - keep working and be patient, and major changes will occur.

Everyone tests the people around them for compatibility, and for their own personal safety. The most efficient tests, some completely automatic, are for whether someone "breaks the patterns of normal appearance and behavior".

Passing those is a minimum for even chatting for ten minutes while hydrating after a physical activity like yoga.

 

[Lightswitch411]

While I'm oblivious to them, I was told, "Basic intentions can often be subliminally read, by others, through one's micro-expressions and body language."

I have found it easier to develop a relationship with someone if I am honestly not looking to do so.

I go through life being friendly with everyone and putting everyone in the "friend zone" until one of them comes right out and asks me out on a date or until someone (who's in that friend zone) tells me someone else wants me to ask them out.

In the meantime, I just do things for the sake of doing them and having some human interaction for a while.

 

[tree]

@Tony Ramirez

I hope you will be seeing your therapist soon.

You sound so miserable, angry, confused, and hopeless.