Astroganga
Well-Known Member
For those who don't know, I am 34 and currently going through the assessment process for Asperger's. Over the years I have learned to keep a lid on everything and come across as pretty normal but in the past year or so it has all been unravelling big time. But I still didn't have problems with anxiety and sensory overload, as bad as I used to, until the past few weeks when it just seems to be ramped up to 100. I have to wear sunglasses outside as it is too bright, even if it is overcast, or dusk. Strong smells make me feel sick, or like I am going to cry, if they remind me of bad memories. For example I was in a clothes store yesterday, in the small quiet local shopping centre but the clothes smelt of fabric warehouses and clothing factories in Manchester and it just triggered so many bad memories for me.
I just feel anxious and shaky at first it was just outside but now it is at home as well. I am getting more obsessed with colour matching my outfits than ever, and am feeling super depressed that I cannot get a ladies' t-shirt in my size that is in a very specific shade of turquoise as it just doesn't seem to be in fashion at the moment. I have to take photos every day or I just feel like I have wasted the day. I also have to walk to and from home a specific way, not the same ay each time but there are a few routes and I have to alternate them in a certain sequence.
It is like I am regressing back to how I was many years ago, maybe my mind thinks it is now 'allowed' to do so now my suspected Asperger's has been acknowledged as being a legitimate thing? I don't know. I have tried meds for anxiety in the past, specific anti anxiety meds, tranquilisers, beta blockers, and citalopram which treats anxiety as well as depression, none of them have really helped to lessen the obsessive behaviour and thoughts, just made me feel slightly calmer and in the case of citalopram and tranquilisers made me have to sleep 18 hours a day. Just wondered if anyone else has gone through this and what helped?
I just feel anxious and shaky at first it was just outside but now it is at home as well. I am getting more obsessed with colour matching my outfits than ever, and am feeling super depressed that I cannot get a ladies' t-shirt in my size that is in a very specific shade of turquoise as it just doesn't seem to be in fashion at the moment. I have to take photos every day or I just feel like I have wasted the day. I also have to walk to and from home a specific way, not the same ay each time but there are a few routes and I have to alternate them in a certain sequence.
It is like I am regressing back to how I was many years ago, maybe my mind thinks it is now 'allowed' to do so now my suspected Asperger's has been acknowledged as being a legitimate thing? I don't know. I have tried meds for anxiety in the past, specific anti anxiety meds, tranquilisers, beta blockers, and citalopram which treats anxiety as well as depression, none of them have really helped to lessen the obsessive behaviour and thoughts, just made me feel slightly calmer and in the case of citalopram and tranquilisers made me have to sleep 18 hours a day. Just wondered if anyone else has gone through this and what helped?