Hi. So i have an appointment this week with my counselor to get a referral so I can be officially diagnosed, but anticipate that I am somewhere on the ASD scale.
It was suggested by my ex-wife 5 years ago as our marriage crumbled, and was totally rejected by me as her way of putting a label to our failing marriage, where things had been fine for the previous 20 years.
I am newly married as of this July and it has not been smooth. My wife, who has had many years experience in the psyche field gingerly suggested that I may have traits of Aspergers. I accepted that I may have traits, and told her I would look into it if it would help our relationship. But over the weekend I did alot of reading and have come to the realization that it is highly likely that I am.
It has kind of hit me, and a bit depressed, as I look back with new eyes on past behavior, conflicts, episodes. I no longer know who I am. I know I am the same person as I was before, but it just colors so much of my actions over the years. I kind of feel like like an alien?
I feel pretty bad about all that I have put my wife through, especially these last 6 months after we got married. I feel very bad that she married someone she totally did not sign up for.
In addition, I kind of feel like it has gotten worse recently, and thus has become more noticeable, where it was not even thought of before. I don't have all the classic traits. Many I don't have at all. But I can see where I do. But anyway, kind of also worried that they could get more pronounced as I age. I understand that with knowledge and talking to a counselor that they could get better. But worried some might be out of my control?
Part of my research this weekend has been plowing through Forums on this site. So I figured I would post something and this might be a resource as I proceed.
It was suggested by my ex-wife 5 years ago as our marriage crumbled, and was totally rejected by me as her way of putting a label to our failing marriage, where things had been fine for the previous 20 years.
I am newly married as of this July and it has not been smooth. My wife, who has had many years experience in the psyche field gingerly suggested that I may have traits of Aspergers. I accepted that I may have traits, and told her I would look into it if it would help our relationship. But over the weekend I did alot of reading and have come to the realization that it is highly likely that I am.
It has kind of hit me, and a bit depressed, as I look back with new eyes on past behavior, conflicts, episodes. I no longer know who I am. I know I am the same person as I was before, but it just colors so much of my actions over the years. I kind of feel like like an alien?
I feel pretty bad about all that I have put my wife through, especially these last 6 months after we got married. I feel very bad that she married someone she totally did not sign up for.
In addition, I kind of feel like it has gotten worse recently, and thus has become more noticeable, where it was not even thought of before. I don't have all the classic traits. Many I don't have at all. But I can see where I do. But anyway, kind of also worried that they could get more pronounced as I age. I understand that with knowledge and talking to a counselor that they could get better. But worried some might be out of my control?
Part of my research this weekend has been plowing through Forums on this site. So I figured I would post something and this might be a resource as I proceed.
Allow yourself whatever time and emotions you need to process this. Things will get better. Your wife has the good fortune to enjoy the many positive aspects of your ASD too, you know! Many of us are, for example, incredibly loyal, honest, have impressive hyperfocus, are straightforward, and are beautifully sensitive. Whatever gifts your ASD brings you, you'll be appreciating them more in time.
