Anger Issues

[wanderer03]

I know I have some issues regarding anger. They've gotten worse since a bicycle accident 2 years ago. Is some of it the autism? I feel like my insides are being all torn up and that I'm headed for another visit to the hospital. The anti-depressants the docs prescribe screw with me in very personal and private ways. I don't even know who I am or what I want anymore. All I am is angry and all I have is a chip on my shoulder. Thank god I abhor violence.

 

[Pondering]

I can definitely understand the struggle of controlling anger and unfortunately, anger seems to be one of the darker and more powerful of emotions. Perhaps autism is part of the reason, as with autism, emotions can be a bit difficult to understand and it can make emotions difficult to manage, especially if one doesn't realize its presence until too late. It wasn't until late in my life that I could start getting a grip on my emotions; controlling it rather than it controlling me. If you sort of think about it, a person has a mind (logic) and a figurative heart (emotion). I don't know if this little trick will help you but I know it helps me: 1) be aware of emotions at all times along with its cause, 2) when the anger comes, stop and think, don't feel, 3) focus on something else, 4) look at the anger with a logical approach before something irrational is said or done, 5) think of the longrun effect of dwelling on anger and try not to dwell on the anger for too long. It is very hard to do sometimes and requires nerves, patience, self-control, and strength of steel and I admit it's much easier said than done. It helps to have a really good balance of emotion and logic. Is it reasonable that what is causing the anger is causing anger? Is it or is it not worth the energy to deal with it and why or why not? It's not fun being angry and it's not fun for the people around. So if you can find a way to get a hold on little tricks to calm down, you'll likely be in a better position to avoid conflict with yourself and others as well. I hope this is helpful. If not, my apologies. It is only a suggestion.

 

[watersprite]

Yeah, it's why I do not own a gun, close to the surface anger + lack of emotional control + chip on shoulder. But now that society is changing for the worse again I might change my mind.
Interesting that you mention it got worse after a bicycle accident. It's worse for me after an accident I had 3 years ago.

 

[Nitro]

As a TBI survivor of a major concussive injury,I was informed that my filter would get lost,and it did. The world was black and white with no common ground in the beginning.
I learned to control it over time by avoiding anything that could trigger it. It took me nearly three years to learn to just suck it up and move along. The world is no longer presented in black and white as the gray areas took hold once again.

I have always been an in your face kind of guy when confronted,but it was also necessary to have some control over how I reacted to each situation.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh wow, do I know how you feel. I laugh at myself when I say that I am a peaceful person, because of how quick I can be to get so angry that I can barely see. But always due to injustice; never just for the sake of it.

It makes me feel worse when I read things like: ones quick to anger live the shortest or in line for heart attack and we'll, when I am fuming, I do feel my body react negatively. The trouble is, can'the stop that anger, but like you, abhor violence, so never do I hit out; just goes internally.

I have no excuse of taking tablets. Past issues has caused this and just how life is.

 

[Tankgirlboy77]

So if you can find a way to get a hold on little tricks to calm down, you'll likely be in a better position to avoid conflict with yourself and others as well.

I concur with this. I have found meditation to be an excellent way to gain some detachment and control over negative emotions that would otherwise carry me away with them. If you can get into a habit of allowing yourself to sit quietly and watch your thoughts without getting entangled in them, even for just 15mins per day, you will find you gain some control because you recognise a moment of pause between the thing that causes you anger and your reaction. It's not for everyone, meditation, but if you can give it a go I'd recommend it. You don't have to do it sitting down, I find I develop the clearest peace of mind while at the gym, and it definitely sets me up to be less reactive in daily life.

If you have underlying reasons to feel anger at the world or yourself generally, then I'd suggest therapy/CBT because it's not going to go away on its own.

 

[wanderer03]

Simply acknowledging the feelings and being present to them helped calm me down some. Thank you for the replies. It is nice to be reminded that I'm not alone.

 

[tree]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...7/what-does-donald-duck-have-do-anger-control