An autistic family

[carbon12]

I wasn't diagnosed when I was little, and there is an explanation for that. Every member of my family had at least a dash of autism, therefore, what everybody did (tantrums, meltdowns, off-modes, etc.) was kind of accepted and considered normal for everyone, because everyone knew what was exactly happening each time.
Right now, I am questioning the effects that this joining could have had in my siblings and me. Our acquired knowledge about other people and interactions were basically introverted, which eventually matched our desires. But, if one of us were born NT (which I supposed happened), he/she would just adapt to autistic behaviors, like the others, meaning a diagnosis.
This is something that I would consider telling a psychiatrist/psychologist, before getting quick assumptions, not for making the person change parents (obviously, no!), but for getting into the check some parents' behaviors that may contribute to their child's condition.

 

[Naturalist]

I hope I am understanding you correctly, please do correct me if this reply is not what you had in mind:

It seems that you are suggesting that some autistic behaviors could be learned by an NT child whose family is prevailingly autistic?

I have in fact wondered this myself. If a typical child is raised in a neuro-atypical environment, do they adopt atypical behaviors which could become problematic for them once they leave that family environment? Enough for them to be mis-diagnosed as ASD?

Intuitively, I would say no, in part because I think NTs are more adaptable to different social environments. Thus, even if they had "Aspie-like" behavior at home they would more quickly recognize that behavior that is acceptable at home is not acceptable at school, etc., and learn ways of adapting their behavior, whereas a person with ASD will persist in a single behavior pattern because it will take them much longer to recognize that that pattern isn't suitable in the new social environment, and to recognize that it is possible to adopt a new pattern of behavior in order to conform. Not necessarily true for every individual, granted, but overall this is what I would expect.

I have a father with probable Asperger's, and a mother who has some traits of ASD though probably not enough for diagnosis. Most notably, she really lacks a theory of mind; it's her way or no way. She has always been very outspoken, critical and even loudly offensive. As a child, I felt how hurtful her criticism was, and I was able to observe others' reactions to her behavior. I didn't know what feelings were behind those reactions, but I could sense the reactions weren't positive. As a result, I find myself doing something that isn't always typical of a person with ASD: worrying a lot about my behaviors and what others think. So in at least one instance, observing my mother's behavior has caused me to question my own tendency toward bluntness, and to "hold my tongue" more often than not, because I cannot anticipate how my comments will be received. I often seem to prevaricate, while I am struggling for a way to express myself in a way that won't offend. My mother's personality was quite domineering, and in order to hold my own I had to act like her at home, so as not to be overwhelmed by her. But after years on my own I am more like my quiet father, unless dealing with other strong personalities, at which I adopt her persona again--minus the ability to speak my mind boldly.

However, it's not easy to shift my behaviors this way and I seem a bit erratic sometimes--"flaky" as my mom would say. My NT sister, who was always trying to keep peace when we were kids, is very comfortable in her sense of self as an adult and has never had any difficulty adapting socially. At least that I am aware of.

 

[unsurewhattoname]

They'd have to be kept from anyone but their family all their life then. Because (normal) kids learn social skills off the other kids at daycare/nursery/preschool/school etc so the only way they wouldn't know how to act would be if you kept them away. And isolating a kid from the outside world seems wrong.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I think so. I don't know if there have been scientific studies on this, probably not, but if autistic people are able to adapt to their environment and be effectively taught how to neurotypical then I see no reason why it wouldn't work the other way too. You could look at personality disorders for example.

 

[unsurewhattoname]

I think so. I don't know if there have been scientific studies on this, probably not, but if autistic people are able to adapt to their environment and be effectively taught how to neurotypical then I see no reason why it wouldn't work the other way too. You could look at personality disorders for example.

When is this supposed to happen? I spent my life around NTs and didn't become NT so I don't think NT being around ASD would make them ASD.

 

[Beverly]

I think that is likely. Any child wants to fit in as well as possible with their family and, they will mimic the behavor of older family members to accomplish that. They wouldn't actually be on the spectrum but, I can see such a child behaving as if they were and, that being very natural and normal to them because that is what the rest of their family does.

As they get older, the child would see the differnces and, possibly question those behavors, and would likely learn that it wasn't the norm, so would eventually stop acting as if they were on the spectrum but, that probably would not happen entirely until well into adulthood.

 

[Judge]

I can emulate certain NT behaviors to an extent over a period of hours. The process has always remained emotionally and physically draining for me. Of course for most of my life I had no idea it even was "a process". I just rationalized that most social interactions were inherently stressful for me.

However that said, there's simply no way I can claim to have "mastered" such behaviors. The process remains only a limited method to mask my own traits and behaviors.

To me it's nothing more than a charade. Not a sincere attempt to adapt to a way of thinking and communicating that in all honesty I often find foreign.

As for Neurotypicals adapting to Neurodiverse behaviors, I don't see any incentive given the lack of parity between those on the spectrum, and the vast majority of those who aren't on it. The cruel reality being they don't have to understand us in as much as it would be beneficial for us to understand them.

 

[Nitro]

I knew a ten year old boy that was environmentally retarded for lack of a better chosen description. He was raised in a mentally retarded half-way house,the son of two of the challenged individuals that lived there. Ricky acted and talked as though he was on their very juvenile five to six old level,but was far from it.The kid's school blew him off and placed him in special education until a better person in the system spotted his true issues. The child's new psych pro explained his unique dilemma as he was trying to correct the behavior and put him back on the right track again.
I have always been interested in unusual behaviors of human nature,and this child really stood out and seemed quite appropriate to the OP's question of whether a "normal" child could adopt mannerisms of the auties they lived and interacted with.

 

[Nitro]

Not all of us on the spectrum have had major issues adopting behaviors that are deemed appropriate by the majority of people they interact with.I didn't have my self-discovery until later in life,but adapted just fine in many areas long before I had any reasons to even suspect that I was any different than any others.I got some pretty special options added to my list of tricks along with a supercomputer of a brain to run the whole show.
I am cranky at times,a loser at intimate relationships most of the time,but always large and in charge of my life. For business reasons I became a very outgoing person who enjoys being the center of attention,but will admit that many want to listen to what I have to say because they want to learn from me or exploit my talents. I put myself in a business setting most of my life where I was the one in charge of what happened next and could actually give a rat's azz about those who couldn't keep up to me. I got some pretty serious skill sets along the way because I paid attention to my mentors and with their guidance saw where I was best suited to be. I might add that playing the game their way makes less waves in their ocean,but if you are the tempest yourself,they have to ride your storm out as well,so there CAN be two sides to every story if you pay attention and grab a hold of the wheel when the time is right.

I freely admit that if things didn't go my way,I was quick to leave the situation I was in and moved along to where my brain was appreciated or to a different setting. I fired a lot of idjiots along the way that showed no promise of conforming to my wishes,but was admired for how I managed my workers by my superiors and respected by those who worked under me.

I feel it necessary to add that most of my life,I was in charge of my own destiny and have always looked out for opportunities.


Sorry for the rant...NOT!

 

[246819733791]

As some people have mentioned, it is probably unlikely that such a child would be diagnosed as autistic, but the phenomenon might occur to some degree. Here is a relevant anecdote: my little sister told me that she used to think that when she got older she would like doing the things I liked, such as sorting or lining up objects, spinning around, and acting out one scenario repeatedly.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

When is this supposed to happen? I spent my life around NTs and didn't become NT so I don't think NT being around ASD would make them ASD.

Well I'm not saying you'll become neurotypical, it doesn't work like that. Autism is to do with the brain, not the mind afterall. I think this would more likely happen during childhood because that's when you're personality has the more plasticity. Simon Baron-Cohen said that autism is caused mainly by genetics but there is some environmental affects in there so it is possible to have some means of altering the outcome of someone with autism, however professionals need to think long and hard about whether it is ethical.

 

[carbon12]

If a typical child is raised in a neuro-atypical environment, do they adopt atypical behaviors which could become problematic for them once they leave that family environment? Enough for them to be misdiagnosed as ASD?

Intuitively, I would say no, in part because I think NTs are more adaptable to different social environments. Thus, even if they had "Aspie-like" behavior at home they would more quickly recognize that behavior that is acceptable at home is not acceptable at school, etc., and learn ways of adapting their behavior, whereas a person with ASD will persist in a single behavior pattern because it will take them much longer to recognize that that pattern isn't suitable in the new social environment, and to recognize that it is possible to adopt a new pattern of behavior in order to conform. Not necessarily true for every individual, granted, but overall this is what I would expect.

What I mean that a parents' analysis may be necessary in making a child's diagnosis,(especially in these) as they tend to have higher neuroplasticity. They may have adopted behaviors that could be suspicious for it, not necessarily meaning the actual condition, as an attempt to adapt or empathize with their siblings or parents.

A child kept in isolation from other people for long periods of time would slow down his/her social skills. But that is also a check that counts in a diagnosis. The problem here is that there will always be influence in a child's mind and behaviors from his/her parents(this means his/her adaptation to society). If combined isolation and autistic behaviors, a NT may be immediately cataloged in certain way when returning to a social environment, when in fact they may just need another kind of attention.