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An all too common problem for autistic women

This is a very good point. This was exactly my experience as well, and why no charges were ever brought forward.

People care even less when the complaints are coming from extremely marginalized people (in my case, a minor child in the foster care system.)

If what happened to me had happened to a more privileged or “high profile” person, the people who did those heinous things to me would probably be facing many years in prison.

It is amazing who has the "right" to compassion, isn't it? I know our life stories are different, but I can tell we have much to relate over. You seem like a model person to me!
 
Although the article may have had good intentions, it was misleading and far from thorough. One needs complete objectivity and a desire to get to more to the roots, for me to take the article as more seriously.

The way the article was written, it suggested the perpetrators of abuse was mostly men. Well, yes, sexual abuse and "severe" physical abuse likely comes from more men, and for cases where men have financial power, and I hope they stay long behind bars there, but if one wants to eradicate abuse, we cannot be so simple and have some hidden bias, as then we may ignore other abuse or let it slide, or victim blame, if we feel other abuses are allowed or are worse.

Let's start with parenting, and what caregivers as a society allows both girls and boys to do, those men and women parents allowed to do, and how each behavior is accepted, punished or not. Whenever one hides or minimize any abuse, and abuses in some form, there likely is both genders involved somewhat equally there, but one gender as adults are more prosecuted. This will create more abuse, if all abuse is not taken seriously.

It is not because men, girls, boys and women abuse more or less, but how we perceive that, and allow that, and how we want to believe one gender is weaker or more caring, or stronger and more abusive, which is often fiction. Abuse comes in many forms. Those who routinely criticize, control, enable abuse, manipulate, gaslight, and resort to neglect are committing abuses, and yes, causing abuses too. We deny that, then abuses will continue.

We never want to talk about these abuses, but the more sexual and violent ones, as it is easy to blame men then. Then the others can continue with their ways. Well, tell me when a boy or girl sees their mother getting away with abuses, too, what does that do to their mindset? It is either seen as accepted, or the anger and unfairness can internalize. And what if guys are abused, but laughed at, or told to shut up, that the woman is the victim instead or that he deserved it, and when police blame it on her emotions or tell him to let her do what women do ?

Well, I see all abuse as bad, and yes, the penalty for abuse should depend on the infraction. So, I have no problem if more violent abuses lead to longer sentences. But I do have a problem with articles as important as the topic of abuse attempts to portray domestic abuse coming mainly from guys. I would argue more abuse coming from women was shared in this forum, from the mothers, sisters, friends and so forth, which gives me some hope the tide is turning though to those truths getting out more.

I mean, with more women turning to careers and more guys staying home for their jobs, or raising children, this will change up gender roles some. Unfortunately though this not only helps women and men be themselves more, but it may lead to women being seen in a worse light, in some ways, as their abuses will be tolerated less or shown more in public eye, and as as equal rights means more accountability. I have noticed a culture change where more women are committing sexual abuse (against school kids) and unthinkable violence, against children and partners. Whether that is because of added stress, more assertive or aggressive tendencies or selfish intentions, or a combination, more women are being punished for crimes.

That is a good thing, because no abuse should be tolerated, and unless that person was seen as legally incompetent or insane, then all should be punished the same for similar crimes. That will help more in solving abuse than any known diagnosis of condition, though I admit that is important as well. Whether we want to deny that or not, that to lessen abuse, we need to hold all accountable for all types of abuse, instead of laughing it off or trying to focus just on violence reported or charged.

More men will come forward then, when they feel safer to report such. Then more girls, boys, women and men will be less harmed when guys are allowed to express more emotions, harms against them, and when boys and girls see all abuse as bad and strive to be their best. Both men and women and society then will hopefully focus on more what is best for the child and not assume one gender is better at nurturing, as those days are changing. If men and women allow boys and girls to cross over in ways and be themselves as long as they are not harming others, then this society will be better. Equality for all, but accountability for all. This will lessen abuse the quickest. More persons will fear abusing others, thus more stable children. Then a more healthy cycle repeats itself.

So, if it sounds like I am blaming women here, that is incorrect. It is society, with both men and women's refusal to either allow for equality and/or have equal accountability. Both men and women and culture norms and any adherence to it contribute to that cause, and as extreme political beliefs cause partially that too. This is not a society where we can do as we please just because it is free, and try to scare off those who tell them of wrongs, nor should it be a society that created and dictates unfair rules, empowering segments, but punishing just certain others. Both genders, you caused this or are allowing this. Now fix this.

A partial rant, but I still try to be fair when giving such.
 
I don’t think the article was meant to be comprehensive. It was just one woman’s story.

Autistic women seem to be more at risk for abuse than NT women. I think that is all this is saying.

As a civilized society, we need to be aware of abuse towards all people.

Mr. Stevens, it is certainly the case that children who complain of abuse are often ignored, minimized and then turned back into the care of the abuser. That certainly happened to me too. In some horrible ways.

But also for me, identifying abuse has been difficult.
 

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