Alexithymia- maybe?

[SDRSpark]

When you say "fearing for your life" what prompted this fear?

I didn't fear for my life, I feared for my safety . I never thought I would be killed, just beaten, screamed at etc.

Ugh. That sort of occurrence right there is at the crux of what in fact does make me upset:
Their assumption of what emotion others are feeling and basing their interaction on an error. And then, they don’t believe you when you tell them otherwise.
That kind of stupid behavior is the main reason there are some people who I choose not to be around for more than 1 minute. I believe it is also, or can be, part of a narcissist’s tactics.

It sure is a narcissist tactic. Sometimes I don't know if malice is intended or not. I've unfortunately had to distance from a couple of formerly close friends because they started doing this (they didn't before).

 

[Aspychata]

I didn't fear for my life, I feared for my safety . I never thought I would be killed, just beaten, screamed at etc.



It sure is a narcissist tactic. Sometimes I don't know if malice is intended or not. I've unfortunately had to distance from a couple of formerly close friends because they started doing this (they didn't before).

I have an excellent book on gaslighting. It's my bible. Just holding it gives me a sigh of relief that l am not alone.

 

[Suzette]

I didn't fear for my life, I feared for my safety . I never thought I would be killed, just beaten, screamed at

My appologies for misquoting you!
I am sorry your experience was miserable. I never experienced a true beating but my brother would restrain me and get in my face makung weurd noises, or ticking me until I cried amongst other tortures. I feared for my safety too but not in the same way. I always wished I was smarter to out wit him in some way. But I never could. I was a passive door mat. Once or twice I hit him to get him away from me, he just hit back.
What a twit I was!

 

[QuestJan]

I feel like a blind person trying to describe plaid.

Love this description, @Suzette!

Leave it to the APA to come up with a deficit diagnosis for a "disease" of common sense seen in superior minds.

I know that the 68.2% seem to feel things so deeply, making them very suceptible to getting entrapped in co-dependent drama - blech! Who needs that crap??

I acknowledge only five basic emotions: happy, sad, mad, scared, & confused (although I have learned many graded synonyms). They focus my logical intuition of situations and enhance empathy. I don't see any use for anything more complicated anymore than I envy mantis shrimp vision.

I'm not completely face blind, but if I see someone out of context I'm unlikely to recognize them.

I am really bad about this. Unless someone has a very distinguishing feature, if they change location or even clothing - I don't recognize them. I feel really bad since I worry they will think that they are inconsequential to me.

 

[SDRSpark]

My appologies for misquoting you!
I am sorry your experience was miserable. I never experienced a true beating but my brother would restrain me and get in my face makung weurd noises, or ticking me until I cried amongst other tortures. I feared for my safety too but not in the same way. I always wished I was smarter to out wit him in some way. But I never could. I was a passive door mat. Once or twice I hit him to get him away from me, he just hit back.
What a twit I was!

For the most part it was threats. I was occasionally hit, but regularly threatened with physical violence (some of it really insane, too) for relatively mundane infractions. Which is something I only just recently realized the full impact of. I've got some unlearning to do....

 

[QuestJan]

They all have questions like that and I'm thinking "I need you to understand that people don't have conversations like this". Or they phrase it differently if they do, and I don't make the connection to the test question (which is likely, and it's especially frustrating on AUTISM tests, where the test maker should know that I'm highly likely to take the questions literally!)

NTs who fancy themselves "autism experts" are often wrong-headed. They tend to see us as diseases that need to be fixed. In their profound lack of empathy for us, they deemed us devoid of empathy. They are pathetic fools.

I take anything they say with a grain of salt.

 

[Alexej]

FYI

One of the best articles I have come across on alexithymia is this one
Suffering from alexithymia | Embrace Autism

 

[Alexej]

... I tend to delve deeply into the pain and think through what is happening on as many levels as I can be aware of.

This aspect of going through the pain involves being able to identify and name the emotions, then there is the process of understanding what may have caused the pain. I see this in my wife who does this type of digging and seeking for the root all the time.

In my experience I struggle to remember the feeling and then cannot name the feeling so there is little chance of being able to do the kind of seep dive that I think you are describing.

 

[Alexej]

Just now walking back from the farmer’s market I failed to recognize the neighbor next door until figuring out 5 minutes later who it must’ve been who said, “hi!” to me. No wonder people think I’m a jerk.
I said hi back to him but probably had a mystified expression on my face.

There is something called face blindness (fancy name =Prosopagnosia)

 

[Ken]

I'm frequently "accused" (I use the word "accuse" because that's what it feels like even if that's not the intent) of feeling things that I don't actually feel. People think I'm "freaking out" when I make a casual observation, or worried when I'm merely curious about something etc. I haven't quite figured out if it's my mannerisms, the subject matter, or what. It's extremely frustrating and demoralizing to feel so misunderstood all the time as everyone reads things into what I say that just isn't there.

I get that a lot. Really a lot. I have questioned my wife about it especially after she becomes angry thinking I am arguing with her when I'm not at all. In fact I'm agreeing with her 100%. I tell her that and ask why she thought I was arguing. Most of the time there is no answer, but when there is she says it is my tone. Makes sense because I never know anything about my tone.

 

[SDRSpark]

I get that a lot. Really a lot. I have questioned my wife about it especially after she becomes angry thinking I am arguing with her when I'm not at all. In fact I'm agreeing with her 100%. I tell her that and ask why she thought I was arguing. Most of the time there is no answer, but when there is she says it is my tone. Makes sense because I never know anything about my tone.

My mom used to drive me nuts...she would say I was wrong and then restate exactly what I said in different words. Then argue with me some more when I pointed out that's what I said.

I never will understand that one.

 

[Ken]

If I understand correctly what alexithymia is, then I suspect my PTSD may fall into that category. It has taken me about 60 years to finally figure it out bit by bit over the years.
One of those helpful bits is the movie Welcome To Marwen. My circumstance is not related to the PTSD Mark experienced in the move, but the trigger abruptness and intensity matches my feelings.

 

[Ken]

My mom used to drive me nuts...she would say I was wrong and then restate exactly what I said in different words. Then argue with me some more when I pointed out that's what I said.

I never will understand that one.

I learned a valuable piece of information a couple of years ago while watching a RomCom move titled Hitch. I don't know if this is actually true or not, but it is certainly true to me. In the movie, the character, Hitch, is a dating coach. The line of interest is when Hitch is explaining communications to a client, Hitch says, "Sixty percent of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; thirty percent is your tone. So that means that ninety percent of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth."
I so relate to that because I only know what's coming out of my mouth, which is only 10% of what I'm saying. I am oblivious to the 90% that the other person is "listening" to. Apparently, when the 90% body language and tone does not match the words, the 90% overrides the 10%.
I have made an agreement with my wife that anytime it seems I am arguing to remind me that my tone is off. That is really helping!